馬克·吐溫趣事

湖北省武漢市梁小明供稿

Tit for Tat

Once Mark Twain was invited to dinner.During the meal he said to a rich lady,“How beautiful you are,madam!”

Unexpectedly the lady said,“But I’m very sorry,sir,I can’t answer you in the same words.”

Mark Twain,who had quick mind and a sharp tongue,said with a smile,“It doesn’t matter.You may tell afalsehood(謊言，假話)just as I did.”

針鋒相對(duì)

一次，馬克·吐溫應(yīng)邀赴宴，席間他對(duì)一位貴婦說：“夫人，您太美了！”

不料那貴婦卻說：“可是先生，遺憾得很，我不能用同樣的話回答你?！?/p>

頭腦靈敏、言辭犀利的馬克·吐溫笑著說：“那沒關(guān)系，你也可以象我一樣說假話?！?/p>

Absent-minded Mark Twain

ThefamousAmerican writerMark Twain was well-known for his absent-minded-ness.One day,when he was riding in a train,the conductor asked him for his ticket.Mark Twain looked for the ticket in all his pockets,but didn’t find it.The conductor happened to know the writer,so he said：“It doesn’t matter.Show your ticket on your way back.And if you don’t find it,there is no trouble.”

“Oh,but I must find the damned thing,otherwise how will I know where I’m going?”

心不在焉的馬克·吐溫

美國著名作家馬克·吐溫以心不在焉著稱于世。

有一天他乘火車旅行，列車員找他查票。馬克·吐溫翻遍了所有衣服的口袋，也沒有找到車票。正好列車員認(rèn)識(shí)這位作家，便說：“沒關(guān)系的，回來時(shí)你把車票給我看看好了。萬一找不到，也沒有多大關(guān)系?！?/p>

“哦，但是我必須找到這該死的東西，不然我怎么知道自己要上哪兒去呢?”

You’ve Got to Eat a Couple of Whales

Once a young man wrote to Mark Twain asking for the key to cleverness and success.

“Dear sir,”wrote the young man, “it is said that eating fish is of some help to one’s mind.You are so clever and have achieved great success as a famous writer.Would you mind telling me what kind of fish you like best and how much I should eat if I want to make myself a clever man?”

After reading the letter Mark Twain answered：“As for fish,the bigger the better of course,and I’m afraid you’ve got to eat a couple of whales.”

你得吃幾條鯨魚

一次，有個(gè)年輕人寫信向馬克·吐溫請(qǐng)教變得聰明和獲得成功的秘訣。

“親愛的先生，”那個(gè)年輕人寫道，“據(jù)說吃魚有益于人的腦子。作為著名作家，您是那么聰穎絕倫，大獲成功。請(qǐng)您告訴我您最愛吃什么魚，好嗎?如果我要使自己成為一個(gè)聰明的人，我要吃多少條魚呢?”

馬克·吐溫讀完后回信說：“至于魚嘛，當(dāng)然越大越好?？峙履愕贸詭讞l鯨魚?！?/p>

Mark Twain and April Fool’s Day

In order to fool Mark Twain on April Fools’day,someone reported in a newspaper the death of Twain.

Not knowing the truth,friends and relatives of Mark Twain’s from all over the country came to pay a condolence call.When they came to Mark Twain’s home,they saw him writing on the table.They were all surprised at the sight at first,and then censured the newspaper for starting such amischievous (惡作劇的)rumor to kindle the chaos.

Mark Twain said humorously,“My death is certain,but it’s been reported ahead of time.Thank you all for your taking great trouble to see me!”

馬克·吐溫與愚人節(jié)

愚人節(jié)這一天，有人為了捉弄馬克·吐溫，竟登報(bào)說他死了。

馬克·吐溫的親朋好友不知真相，從全國各地趕來吊喪。當(dāng)他們來到馬克·吐溫的家時(shí)，發(fā)現(xiàn)他在桌前寫作。親朋好友先是一驚，接著紛紛譴責(zé)那家報(bào)社制作如此惡作劇的謠言。

馬克·吐溫幽默地說：“報(bào)紙報(bào)道的沒錯(cuò)，因?yàn)槲铱傆幸惶鞎?huì)死，他們只是把日期提前了些，讓諸位受驚了！”

Good Luck or Bad Luck

When Mark Twain edited a newspaper in Missouri,one of his subscribers wrote to him that he had found a spider in his paper and wished to know whether it meant good luck or bad.

Twain replied,“Finding a spider in your paper is neither good luck nor bad.The spider wasmerely(僅僅)looking over our paper to see whichmerchant(商人)was not advertising,so that he could go to that store,spin his web across the door and lead a life ofundisturbed(未被打擾的)peace ever afterwards.

是兇還是吉

馬克·吐溫在密蘇里辦了一份報(bào)。他的一個(gè)訂戶寫了一封信給他，說他在報(bào)紙里發(fā)現(xiàn)一只蜘蛛，想知道這個(gè)預(yù)兆是兇還是吉。

馬克·吐溫回信說：“在你的那份報(bào)紙里找到了一只蜘蛛不是吉兆，也不是不祥之兆。這只蜘蛛只是在翻閱我們的報(bào)紙想看看哪一位商人還沒有在報(bào)紙上登廣告，以便在他的商號(hào)的門上織網(wǎng)定居，以過上安逸的生活?！?/p>

Giving You a New Start

One day Mark Twain read an announcement of his death in a newspaper.Hehastened(趕緊)to the editor to protect.

“I’m very sorry,”the editor replied.“It’s a terrible mistake,but it’s too late to do much about it.The best thing I can do for you is to put you in the Birth Column tomorrow morning and give you a new start.”

讓你重獲新生

一天，馬克·吐溫在報(bào)上讀到一則關(guān)于他的死亡訃告。他急忙趕到編輯那兒以示抗議。

“非常抱歉，”編輯說，“這是一個(gè)可怕的錯(cuò)誤，但是要彌補(bǔ)已為時(shí)太晚。我唯一能為您做的事情是將你刊登在明天早晨出版的廣告出生欄中，讓你重新獲得新生?！?/p>