萊卡·巴利塔 葛嬌嬌
The Oxford dictionary defines empathy as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It’s basically putting yourself in the other person’s shoes, and it’s a game-changer: It reminds us that other people are humans, too, and not just a faceless student, employee, or statistic.
Working from home is weird. Home is no longer refuge, plus many higher ups seem to believe that working from home means more free time, so e-mails after work hours become normalized and more Zoom meetings are held on a daily basis. For students, the scenario is similar: extended hours, makeup classes, and more assessments.
Then we open social media and see our friends showing off the sheer1 volume of paperwork, readings, or meetings they endure, and we tend to react with a mix of well-wishing for them and relief for ourselves since we don’t have to go through all that. But relating to these scenarios just shows one important thing: we all agree that stress isn’t fun. So why is it being romanticized?
There’s a joke saying you can determine that a law student is a freshman if their social media frequently shows off the piles of readings they have to finish for just one class. I used to do that, too, as did many of my batchmates2. Maybe it also applies to other fields and new employees. Maybe it’s an unspoken rite of passage3 in high-stress environments, who knows?
But it gets to the dangerous point where we talk about caffeine addictions and sleep deprivation as if these were trophies4, and this influences others into thinking that this is how it should be. We hear, “man, I only got four hours of sleep last night,” in a tone of exhaustion and a strange hint of pride from people fuelled5 by iced coffee and no breakfast, as if all is perfectly normal. So, stressful and heavy workloads become something to attain because when we suffer and are eternally busy, we are on the same level as the productive and successful. But is it not a truer sign of success to have time to rest and enjoy the fruits of what we’ve worked for?
Busyness and productivity are not the same thing. A reasonable level of work may be beneficial to some: there’s a sense of accomplishment after fulfilling responsibilities, and procrastinators6 sometimes need some pressure to finally begin working. But too much can ser-iously damage our health physically and mentally, worsening work performance along the way. This is backed up by science and known to all. So, for the sake of our health and careers, maybe we should start glamorizing7 rest instead of stress and heavy workloads. Rest once in a while. According to Matthew Walker, a 20-minute nap is enough to boost one’s mood and energy, so sneak them in when needed. We are humans before we are our occupations.
Of course, not everyone has the privilege of extra time. Many of us work multiple jobs, are working students, or have family troubles and responsibilities. Some have physical or mental health issues or illnesses that can make rest difficult. We all know this, so why aren’t we more empathetic?
We’re still in a pandemic. Again, we are still in a pandemic. It may feel normal now, but pandemics are not normal in the grand scheme of things. This pandemic has killed and affected people we know, so what is normal is wanting to rest once in a while. People are dying, it’s still dangerous to leave the house, and the virus is mutating8, with the vaccine still inaccessible to most. So, shouldn’t we be trying to create a less stressful environment, all things considered?
Many employers and professors admit feeling more exhausted due to the pandemic. Many workers and students share the same sentiments. It’s interesting how, despite this, not much has changed. Ironically, more work is being given, since somehow we all are supposed to have adapted perfectly to this pandemic already.
Yes, the economy has to keep going, students have to keep studying to retain information, and at some point we have to resume our lives. But surely, we can achieve these with reasonable empathy. We can patiently simplify concepts and systems and allow more time for others to rest and recharge, then we give our best when it’s our time to work. We’re all tired of the pandemic and conversations about it, but ignoring the pandemic-induced changes and insisting on old ways for the current days is counterproductive9. What’s the point of complete output when no one enjoys it anymore? Once in a while, rest and let others rest. At the end of the day, we are all better off happy and well rested anyway. We are all humans stuck in this pandemic, so a little empathy from each one of us will go a long way.
牛津詞典把共情定義為理解他人感情并感同身受的能力。這本質(zhì)上就是設(shè)身處地為別人著想,能徹底改變局面:它提醒我們其他人也是人,而不僅僅是身份不明的學(xué)生、員工或數(shù)據(jù)。
在家辦公很奇怪。家不再是一個(gè)避風(fēng)港,而且很多上級(jí)似乎也認(rèn)為在家辦公意味著更多的自由時(shí)間,因而下班后發(fā)電子郵件成了常態(tài),每天在Zoom上開(kāi)的視頻會(huì)議也更多了。對(duì)學(xué)生來(lái)說(shuō),情況類似:延長(zhǎng)學(xué)時(shí)、補(bǔ)課、增加測(cè)試。
然后我們打開(kāi)社交媒體,看到朋友們展示要完成的大量文書(shū)工作、閱讀材料或會(huì)議,我們的反應(yīng)往往充滿了矛盾,在祝福他們的同時(shí),又為自己不必經(jīng)歷這一切而慶幸。以上這些場(chǎng)景只表明了一件重要的事:我們一致認(rèn)為壓力并不有趣。那么壓力為何會(huì)被理想化呢?
有一個(gè)笑話說(shuō),如果一位法科生在社交媒體上頻繁展示他僅為一堂課所必須讀完的大量閱讀資料,你就能斷定他是大一新生。我也曾這么做,我的很多同學(xué)也是?;蛟S其他專業(yè)的學(xué)生和新員工也是如此?;蛟S這是高壓環(huán)境中一項(xiàng)心照不宣的通過(guò)儀式,誰(shuí)知道呢。
但是,當(dāng)我們像談?wù)搼?zhàn)利品那樣談?wù)摽Х纫虺砂a和睡眠不足時(shí),就到了危險(xiǎn)的地步。這會(huì)影響別人,讓他們以為理當(dāng)如此。我們聽(tīng)那些沒(méi)吃早餐、靠冰咖啡提神的人說(shuō)“天啊,我昨晚只睡了四個(gè)小時(shí)”,疲憊的語(yǔ)氣中透著一絲奇怪的驕傲,好像一切完全正常。于是,繁重而讓人倍感壓力的工作量成了人們所追求的,因?yàn)楫?dāng)我們受苦受累、無(wú)休止地繁忙時(shí),我們就與那些高效的成功人士處在同一層次了。但是,有時(shí)間休息并享受我們的勞動(dòng)果實(shí),難道不是成功更名副其實(shí)的標(biāo)志嗎?
繁忙和高效并非一回事。合理的工作量可能對(duì)一些人有益:履行職責(zé)后會(huì)有一種成就感,慣于拖延者有時(shí)需要一些壓力才能開(kāi)始工作。但太多的工作量又會(huì)嚴(yán)重?fù)p害我們的身心健康,從而使工作表現(xiàn)越來(lái)越糟。這是有科學(xué)依據(jù)的,也是眾所周知的。因此,為了我們的健康和事業(yè)著想,或許我們應(yīng)該開(kāi)始倡導(dǎo)休息而非壓力和沉重的工作負(fù)擔(dān)。時(shí)不時(shí)休息一下。據(jù)馬修·沃克所言,20分鐘的小睡足以讓人打起精神、精力充沛,所以,必要時(shí)就偷偷休息一下吧。我們首先是人,其次才是從業(yè)者。
當(dāng)然,并不是每個(gè)人都有條件擁有額外的時(shí)間。我們很多人要打多份工,或半工半讀,或有家庭問(wèn)題和責(zé)任。有些人有身心健康問(wèn)題或疾病,因而很難休息。我們都知道這一點(diǎn),那么我們?yōu)楹尾欢嘁稽c(diǎn)兒共情呢?
我們?nèi)匀惶幱谝咔橹?。重?fù)一遍,我們?nèi)匀惶幱谝咔橹小?赡墁F(xiàn)在的情形人們覺(jué)得很正常了,但總體看,出現(xiàn)大規(guī)模流行病并不正常。此次疫情讓我們認(rèn)識(shí)的人或喪生或被感染,因此想偶爾休息下才是正常的??傆腥怂廊?,離開(kāi)家依然很危險(xiǎn),病毒正在變異,大多數(shù)人還沒(méi)能打上疫苗。那么,從各方面考慮,我們難道不應(yīng)該努力創(chuàng)造壓力較小的環(huán)境嗎?
很多雇主和教授都承認(rèn),由于這場(chǎng)疫情,他們感到更加疲憊不堪。很多員工和學(xué)生也有同感。有趣的是,盡管如此,情形并無(wú)多大變化。諷刺的是,布置的工作反而更多了,因?yàn)椴恢趺?,我們被認(rèn)為已經(jīng)完全適應(yīng)了這場(chǎng)疫情。
的確,經(jīng)濟(jì)得繼續(xù)發(fā)展,學(xué)生得繼續(xù)學(xué)習(xí)來(lái)掌握知識(shí),在某一刻,我們還得恢復(fù)我們的生活。但毫無(wú)疑問(wèn),我們可以通過(guò)合理的共情來(lái)做到這些。我們可以耐心地簡(jiǎn)化概念和系統(tǒng),讓其他人有更多的時(shí)間可以休息、恢復(fù)精力,工作時(shí)就可以拿出最佳狀態(tài)。我們都厭倦了疫情和關(guān)于疫情的討論,但是,忽視疫情所帶來(lái)的改變,堅(jiān)持用過(guò)去的方式應(yīng)對(duì)當(dāng)前的形勢(shì),那只會(huì)適得其反。如果再也無(wú)人享受,最優(yōu)產(chǎn)出又有何意義呢?時(shí)不時(shí)地休息一下,也讓別人休息一下吧。最終,我們都會(huì)過(guò)得更好,至少既能得到快樂(lè)又能充分休息。我們同是受困于這場(chǎng)疫情的人,每一個(gè)人的一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)共情都會(huì)大有幫助。
(譯者為“《英語(yǔ)世界》杯”翻譯大賽獲獎(jiǎng)?wù)撸?/p>
1 sheer用來(lái)強(qiáng)調(diào)事物的大小、程度或數(shù)量。
2 batchmate同年級(jí)同學(xué)。? 3 rite of passage(標(biāo)志人生重要階段的)通過(guò)儀式,重大事件。? 4 trophy(獲勝者的)獎(jiǎng)品;戰(zhàn)利品。? 5 fuel給……提供燃料。此處喻指“給……提神”。
6 procrastinator拖延者。? 7 glamorize使有魅力;美化。? 8 mutate變異,突變。
9 counterproductive產(chǎn)生相反效果的;事與愿違的;適得其反的。
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