To be a DIYer

Pre-reading

1. The New Year’s coming. You want to send some cards to your friends. Would you like to buy them or make them by yourself？ Do you want to be a DIYer？

2. Where can you see examples of DIY in your daily life？

DIY means Do-It-Yourself and refers to the culture of building or creating things that can be bought.

DIY is ideal for kids between the ages of 6 and 13. We aim to encourage skill-building by fostering（培養(yǎng)）a healthy competitive spirit and build a community of self-confident， eager-to-learn， and kind children. We hope that these kids will go on to become adults that have the same qualities.

You can create your DIY profile on our website. The only details we need are your name， birthday， and email ID. If you have the DIY App， you can use it to create your profile.

In order to interact（相互溝通、交流）and share on DIY， kids will need to verify（驗(yàn)證） their DIY account. Verification is a way for us to collect parental consent in compliance with COPPA （Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act）. Once their account is verified， kids can：

·Join interest-based clubs and chat over common interests.

·Post their creations on DIY.

·Join and host live workshops.

·Participate in contests.

·Earn Gems that they can trade for cool merch from the DIY Shop.

·Create challenges and contests for other kids to try.

To verify your account， you will need to submit a video of you and one of your parents saying the sentence “I’m here to use DIY” using the DIY App. Here are some guidelines for creating the video：

·The video should be less than 15 seconds long.

·The video should clearly show the faces of both the DIYer and their parent.

·Both the parent and DIYer must be heard saying “I am here to use DIY”.

Once you’ve uploaded your video successfully， verification takes up to 72 hours. During this time， we check the video to verify parental consent and also to verify the age of the DIYer. This helps us keep DIY safe and free of intruders.

If your verification has failed， it is possible that your video was missing one of the requirements above. You can submit a video for verification again anytime using the DIY App.

While-reading

1. If you want to be a DIYer， how to create your free account to get started on DIY on" the website？

2. If you want to create your video for verification， how to create it， by yourself or asking others for help？ Why？ What should you pay attention to when you’re creating the video？

Post-reading

Nowadays， if you need something， what will you do， buy or do it by yourself？ If you did a DIY job and discovered the joy or pity of DIY， write about it titled “My DIY Story”. You can plan your writing by learning about the text type， the structure and the language.

原文呈現(xiàn)

My DIY Story

I used to love planes more than anything else. Once I thought of DIYing a plane model to enter a competition. So， I asked my dad for help.

He prepared things for me， such as some tools and materials. “How about researching first and then come back to me with a design？”

A week later， I took my notes to him and drew this design. I named it “Lightning”. Just as the name， the plane was in the shape of lightning and looked cool. He looked over and encouraged me to build lightening as I designed.

Through two months of hard work， I turned my idea into action. My dad asked me to have a test flight. However， I discovered something wrong and went to my father. My father asked me to find out the reason by myself. He laughed and said， “It’s better to teach a man how to fish than give him fish.” I agreed and magic learning happened during the progress. At last， I finished my work and the plane took a successful flight.

文章內(nèi)容重點(diǎn)應(yīng)是DIY的過程，建議布局整體簡(jiǎn)化，減少父親在故事中的比重，并適當(dāng)擴(kuò)充本人在DIY過程中的探索與心理描寫。

DIY通常強(qiáng)調(diào)制作的順序，可以用first， next， then， later， finally等串聯(lián)整個(gè)過程，使內(nèi)容的組織更具邏輯性。

文章結(jié)尾缺少提煉升華，可增加自己的感受和收獲。

升格展示

My DIY Story

I used to be crazy about airplanes and once thought of making an airplane model to take part in a competition. To ensure success， I read through the instructions first and searched for the DIY videos online. After making sure of the steps， I gathered all the materials and made a start.

First， I stuck the wings on the body. When I had difficulty making the two wings symmetrical， I asked my father for advice. He suggested marking the proper place. Next， I installed the screw propeller and empennage. Then I connected the propeller and empennage with a rubber band. At last， to make it more attractive， I painted it bright blue and even designed a lightning bold shape. That’s it！

However， when I took the test flight， something went wrong. The rubber band was so tight that the airplane flew too fast and I could hardly control the direction. My father encouraged me to take down the rubber band and make a change. Actually， I made some changes and finally found the most suitable one.

The competition came. But I did not care whether I could win or not. I had already been the winner by trying to go beyond myself through failure.

（江蘇省南京市東南實(shí)驗(yàn)學(xué)校 孫雪然；指導(dǎo)教師 董蓉蓉）

綜合點(diǎn)評(píng)

升格文結(jié)構(gòu)更合理，重點(diǎn)更突出。小作者運(yùn)用 first， next， then， at last等連接詞串聯(lián)飛機(jī)模型的制作過程，邏輯清晰明了。在制作過程中遇到困難并解決問題的描寫是文章的重點(diǎn)，突出了主題。結(jié)尾呼應(yīng)開頭事情的起因，并表達(dá)出小作者對(duì)DIY的理解與感悟，由事及理，升華了立意。