讀后續(xù)寫的高分四部曲

河南 陳 龍

讀后續(xù)寫是新高考英語最引人關(guān)注、最令考生感到棘手的新題型，如何有效地解答讀后續(xù)寫并獲得高分是大家都在思考和探討的問題。通過四個步驟，我們可以獲得高分讀后續(xù)寫的“金鑰匙”。

Step 1 明確敘事要素，分析故事主題

目前，高考中的讀后續(xù)寫通常是敘事模式的語篇。完整的敘事模式的語篇通常包括點題、指向、疊合事件、評議、結(jié)局、回應(yīng)等要素。各部分的基本含義如下圖所示：

讀后續(xù)寫不是無視原文的獨立創(chuàng)作，而是順著原文作者的思路完成未完成的文本。在續(xù)寫之前，首先應(yīng)認(rèn)真閱讀原文，理順故事中的when、where、who、what、why 和how 六大要素。故事中的背景信息主要用于介紹故事中的角色和故事發(fā)展的環(huán)境。故事背景的介紹常涉及人物、時間、地點、活動或環(huán)境的描述等。用來介紹背景信息的常常是非敘事句和時間、地點狀語等，它們常常出現(xiàn)在文章的開篇部分。

文章的主題就是文章的中心思想、大意或敘述意圖。文章常聚焦在人與自我、人與社會、人與自然三大主題語境上。

【典例鏈接】（2021·浙江卷）My dad, George, only had an eighth grade education. A quiet man, he didn't understand my world of school activities. From age 14, he worked.And his dad,Albert,took the money my dad earned and used it to pay family expenses.

I didn't really understand his world either: He was a livestock trucker, and I thought that I would surpass（超過）anything he had accomplished by the time I walked across the stage at high school graduation.

【名師導(dǎo)讀】在本段中，背景信息包括了人物，如My dad、祖父Albert 以及隱性的故事敘述者I。在敘述中，文章同樣包括了對My dad 的背景信息介紹，如教育信息——had an eighth grade education；性格特征——A quiet man；生活經(jīng)歷——“From age 14,he worked.”。通過定位關(guān)鍵詞My dad、his dad 和family expenses 可以看出，本篇文章的主題語境應(yīng)為“個人、家庭”，所反映的主題意義應(yīng)為family love。

Step 2 抓住兩個關(guān)鍵，確定續(xù)寫方向

文本大意和敘述意圖是確定續(xù)寫方向的兩個關(guān)鍵。提煉出文本大意和敘述意圖后，結(jié)合所給短文的情境模式，即5W(Who?What?When?Where?Why?)和兩個續(xù)寫段首句中與5W 相關(guān)的要點，從5W 的角度想象續(xù)寫部分的主要內(nèi)容，預(yù)測故事的走向。

1.兩個續(xù)寫段落的首句已給出，因此，續(xù)寫第一段的續(xù)寫方向相對第二段較為明確。第二段的續(xù)寫方向較為開放，需結(jié)合原文的人物性格特征和故事發(fā)展脈絡(luò)大膽預(yù)測。兩個續(xù)寫段落的首句既是提示，也是限制。因此，在預(yù)測內(nèi)容時，須緊跟原文內(nèi)容，緊密銜接段落首句，這樣才能保證續(xù)寫部分與原文情節(jié)的契合。

2.續(xù)寫方向的預(yù)測必須密切結(jié)合原文的文本大意、敘述意圖、情境模式以及相關(guān)細(xì)節(jié)，并符合原文所要表達(dá)的主題意義。

【典例鏈接】

A MOTHER'S DAY SURPRISE

（2021?新高考Ⅰ卷）The twins were filled with excitement as they thought of the sur?prise they were planning for Mother's Day. How pleased and proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed. They planned to make French toast and chicken por?ridge.They had watched their mother in the kitchen.There was nothing to it.Jenna and Jeff knew exactly what to do.

The big day came at last. The alarm rang at 6 a.m. The pair went down the stairs qui?etly to the kitchen. They decided to boil the porridge first. They put some rice into a pot of water and left it to boil while they made the French toast. Jeff broke two eggs into a plate and added in some milk. Jenna found the bread and put two slices into the egg mixture.Next,Jeff turned on the second stove burner to heat up the frying pan.Everything was going smoothly until Jeff started frying the bread.The pan was too hot and the bread turned black within seconds. Jenna threw the burnt piece into the sink and put in the other slice of bread.This time,she turned down the fire so it cooked nicely.

Then Jeff noticed steam shooting out of the pot and the lid starting to shake. The next minute, the porridge boiled over and put out the fire. Jenna panicked. Thankfully, Jeff stayed calm and turned off the gas quickly.But the stove was a mess now.Jenna told Jeff to clean it up so they could continue to cook the rest of the porridge. But Jeff's hand touched the hot burner and he gave a cry of pain. Jenna made him put his hand in cold water. Then she caught the smell of burning. Oh dear! The piece of bread in the pan had turned black as well.

【名師導(dǎo)讀】2021 年新高考Ⅰ卷的讀后續(xù)寫原文敘述的是，一對雙胞胎在母親節(jié)為母親做法式吐司和雞肉粥，在遇到意外后得到父親的幫助，最終完成了在母親節(jié)那一天為母親帶來驚喜的心愿的故事。故事的主題為family love。

表1 2021年新高考Ⅰ卷讀后續(xù)寫的語篇分析

（續(xù)表）

通過對故事主線的分析，我們發(fā)現(xiàn)，續(xù)寫的原文并未包括對問題的解決，因此，我們需要在續(xù)寫部分完善故事的情節(jié)。結(jié)合續(xù)寫部分第一段的段首句“As the twins looked around them in disappointment,their father appeared.”和續(xù)寫部分第二段的段首句“The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.”，我們可以判斷續(xù)寫部分的情節(jié)應(yīng)該集中在兩個方面：第一，父親的出現(xiàn)有什么作用？他會做什么呢？第二，看到孩子們做的早餐時，母親會有什么樣的反應(yīng)呢？

【知識鏈接】故事類的文本通常由兩條線組成。第一條為故事的情節(jié)線，反映了故事發(fā)展的原因、開始、發(fā)展、高潮和結(jié)局，這是故事的明線。第二條通常為故事中人物的情感線，反映出當(dāng)事人的情緒狀態(tài)和情感變化的過程，這是故事的暗線。通過對原文故事背景、情節(jié)線和情感線的分析提煉，可以推測故事發(fā)展的趨勢，得出文章的主題或敘述意圖。敘事類文本的敘述意圖或主題指故事的主要內(nèi)容傳遞給讀者的信息，可以是情，也可以是理。續(xù)寫部分要在敘述意圖或主題上與原文保持一致。

Step 3 注意“兩情相悅”，添加合理細(xì)節(jié)

一篇好的讀后續(xù)寫，其寫作思路應(yīng)遵循原文發(fā)展的情節(jié)線和情感線，即續(xù)寫部分與原文達(dá)到“兩情相悅”時，才能與原文高度融洽。

1.首先，續(xù)寫部分在情節(jié)的發(fā)展上與原文的情節(jié)發(fā)展應(yīng)該是連貫且合理的，如2020 年新高考Ⅰ卷中提到Mrs.Meredith 曾去過Bernard 的家，續(xù)寫部分可用paid an?other visit to the family 呼應(yīng)原文中的這個細(xì)節(jié)。

2.其次，情感線的“相悅”指續(xù)寫部分的人物心理情感的變化按照原文的人物心理情感的變化合理變化且與原文的主題一致。如2020 年新高考Ⅰ卷原文的主題是“愛、幫助和善行”，續(xù)寫部分應(yīng)在進(jìn)行情感描寫時描寫B(tài)ernard 受到幫助后的感激之情，同時利用心理描寫點明原文主題，升華全文的情感。

Step 4 沿襲語言風(fēng)格，使用優(yōu)美表達(dá)

不同的文章有不同的語言特點，有正式與非正式之分，有樸素與華麗之分，有簡潔明快與繁復(fù)含蓄之分。但是同一篇文章的語言特點應(yīng)該是一致的，續(xù)寫時應(yīng)判斷并沿用原文的語言特點，使續(xù)寫部分與原文渾然一體。

記敘文的語言風(fēng)格特點常表現(xiàn)在以下四個方面：

1.句式結(jié)構(gòu)上，包括簡單句、復(fù)合句、強(qiáng)調(diào)句、倒裝句等特殊句式的使用。如果原文使用的簡單句較多，而復(fù)合句等特殊句式較少或幾乎沒有，那么續(xù)寫部分就應(yīng)多使用簡單句進(jìn)行描寫，而不應(yīng)過多涉及復(fù)合句。

2.語法結(jié)構(gòu)上，包括主被動語態(tài)、非謂語動詞、獨立主格結(jié)構(gòu)、with 的復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)、虛擬語氣等的使用。

3.詞匯選擇上，包括常見的初級詞匯、高級詞匯以及不同詞性的使用。

4.修辭手法上，包括比喻、擬人、夸張等修辭的使用。

沿襲原文的語言風(fēng)格，應(yīng)堅持四個原則：

1.續(xù)寫時，應(yīng)盡可能根據(jù)原文在句式結(jié)構(gòu)、語法結(jié)構(gòu)、詞匯選擇和修辭手法上的語言特點進(jìn)行遣詞造句。

2.不能因個人喜好或為追求詞句的高級用法將不符合原文的詞句生搬硬套到續(xù)寫部分。

3.記敘文中常出現(xiàn)人物之間的對話。如果用直接引語記錄人物的對話，應(yīng)特別留意人物的特點和對話的情境。任何人物的語言都應(yīng)該符合其身份和性格特征。

4.人物的語言也應(yīng)和說話時的情境吻合，即什么情況下說什么話，如緊急情況下的話語應(yīng)該是短促的，不適合用復(fù)雜的、帶有從句的復(fù)合句。

表2 2021年新高考Ⅰ卷讀后續(xù)寫的語言分析

（續(xù)表）

讀后續(xù)寫作為新題型，并非像我們想象得那樣難以應(yīng)對。只要我們不斷加強(qiáng)對故事類文本的閱讀，堅持按照四個步驟答題，一定會取得理想的答題效果。

【牛刀小試】

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

At first,Michael didn't see the black smoke or flames shooting from the windows of his neighbors' home. He and his wife had just parked around the corner from their own house when they got a call from one of his daughters:“The house next door is on fire!”He went to check.That was when he saw two women and a girl helpless and heartbroken in their doorway.

“The baby's in there!”one of the women cried. Though the fire department had been called, Michael, then 64, immediately ran inside.“The baby”was 8?year?old Tiara, the woman's granddaughter and a playmate of Michael's three youngest kids.

Entering the burning house was like“running into a bucket of black paint”.The thick smoke caused Michael to stumble blindly around, burned his eyes, and made it impossible to breathe.The conditions would have been dangerous for anyone,but for Michael,who has severe lung disease,they were life?threatening.

After a few minutes in the smoke?filled house,he retreated outside to catch his breath.“Where is Tiara?”he asked desperately.

“The second floor,”her aunt shouted back.

Michael knew he couldn't hold his breath for long. However, taking a deep breath, he went in a second time.The darkness was overwhelming.Yet because the house had a simi?lar design to his, he made it to the second floor. He turned to the right and was met by in?tense heat.He was already out of breath.

“Baby girl,where are you?”

His throat and lungs burned as if he'd inhaled fire instead of the smoke in the air.Ev?ery blink stung his eyes.All he could hear was the crackling and popping of burning wood.Then a soft but distinct moan emerged. Still unable to see, Michael fell to his knees on the hot wood floor.He crawled toward the sound,feeling around for any sign of the girl.An un?lucky thought crossed his mind:I'm probably gonna die up here.

注意：

1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭已為你寫好。

Paragraph 1:

Finally,Michael touched something.

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Paragraph 2:

Tiara was safe;however,Michael fainted down to the ground,unconscious.

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