概要寫作要點確認和要點表達方法探究

浙江

從2016 年10 月開始高考英語浙江卷中出現(xiàn)了全新的寫作題型——讀后續(xù)寫和概要寫作。兩種題型在不同考次不定期地交替使用?！镀胀ǜ叩葘W(xué)校招生全國統(tǒng)一考試英語科考試說明》（以下簡稱《考試說明》）中對概要寫作的要求如下：提供一篇350 詞以內(nèi)的短文，要求考生基于該短文寫出一篇60 詞左右的內(nèi)容概要。至今為止高考英語浙江卷分別在2018 年11 月和2019 年6 月的兩次考試中考查了概要寫作這一題型，但是從閱卷之后的反饋情況來看，這一題型考生得分不高的主要原因是其在概要寫作的要點確認以及概要寫作的要點表達這兩方面存在較大的問題。下面，筆者將具體闡述解決這兩個方面的問題的具體方法，以期達到拋磚引玉的效果。

一、概要寫作要點確認的方法

概要寫作的素材往往是說明文，而說明文每一段的中心大意的呈現(xiàn)形式往往不同于記敘文的最后升華、得出結(jié)論，通常是位于每段的不同的位置、采用不同的方法引出，可謂花樣繁多。這既增加了說明文閱讀的趣味性，同時也不可避免地增加了概要寫作要點確認的難度，使廣大考生無法快速、簡捷地定位要點，因此其所表達出來的句子往往不能直奔主題，只是在旁枝末節(jié)上浪費筆墨，造成不必要的失分現(xiàn)象。

有鑒于此，筆者將結(jié)合不同概要寫作的語段分析總結(jié)段落大意的方法，即引出寫作要點的手法，“順藤摸瓜”地確定每段的寫作要點。

1.直白法

直白法是指以開門見山的方式表達段落主題，段落主題后面的其他內(nèi)容具體回答了這個主題的內(nèi)容是什么（what）、為什么形成這個主題（why）和怎么形成的這個主題（how），雖然具體內(nèi)容不少，但是其在重要性上并不能與主題句相提并論。直白法的判斷方法是段落首句是一句籠統(tǒng)抽象的表達，而后面的內(nèi)容則是具體而精確的闡述，前后之間有明顯的虛實變化。

【例】（2018 年11 月高考英語浙江卷概要寫作第四段）Now,if time and money are making it impossible,then check out the online college fairs at CollegeWeekLive.It’s a chance to chat online with admissions officers,students,and college counselors（顧問）,and it won’t cost you a penny! You can register for its online college fair at collegeweeklive.com.While visiting an online college fair can’t take the place of an actual campus visit,it can be a very useful tool that along with all your other research will help you make an informed Decision about which colleges or universities you’d like to attend.

【分析】上面段落的首句籠統(tǒng)地提出了段落主題“如果時間和金錢不允許，那么在網(wǎng)上了解目標大學(xué)也不失為一個好主意?！本o接著后面的內(nèi)容圍繞在網(wǎng)上了解大學(xué)的好處（這樣做的具體原因）展開，顯然采取了直白法的方式表達主題。

【方法策略】對于采用直白法引出主題的篇章我們在確定主題時千萬不要本末倒置，輕率地以為后面說明原因的內(nèi)容占用的篇幅更大而過度強調(diào)，從而造成雖然寫作內(nèi)容很多但是沒有扣住要點的錯誤。

2.反襯法

主題呈現(xiàn)的另一種方式為反襯法，即要表達正面的主題時，前面一般使用負面的引入，反過來說，如果要表達負面的主題，則在其前使用正面的引入，這種反向操作非常具有干擾性，無形中增加了考生確認主題的難度。

【例】（2019 年6 月高考英語浙江卷概要寫作第一段）Parents everywhere praise their kids.Jenn Berman,author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy and Confident Kids,says,“We’ve gone to the opposite extreme of a few Decades ago when parents tended to be more strict.”By giving kids a lot of praise,parents think they’re building their children’s confidence,when,in fact,it may be just the opposite.Too much praise can backfire and,when given in a way that’s insincere,make kids afraid to try new things or take a risk for fear of not being able to stay on top where their parents’ praise has put them.

【分析】本段的主題無疑是“父母的過度表揚會給孩子們造成負面影響”，而前半部分的內(nèi)容都是在介紹“父母傾向于給予孩子們表揚”和“父母的表揚能夠增強孩子們的自信心”這兩方面正面的信息，在確定主題時千萬不能重點介紹表揚的益處而忽略表揚的弊端，正確的做法應(yīng)該是使用讓步狀語從句將文章中提到的父母表揚孩子的好處作為鋪墊，把重心放在后半句過度表揚給孩子造成的負面影響上，只有這樣才能符合反襯法的寫作手法，切合主題。

【方法策略】判斷反襯法的方法也很簡單，即要特別重視but,however,nevertheless,in fact,actually,as a matter of fact 等表示轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系的連接詞，以及though,although,while,no matter 等引導(dǎo)讓步狀語從句的連接詞，因為這些連接詞就是反襯法的風(fēng)向標，指引我們確定這種反襯手法。

3.事例法

記敘文和說明文中都會有一些事例，但是記敘文中的事例往往比較完整，通過完整的事例來升華正能量的主題，也就是說事例是構(gòu)成記敘文的主要部分。而說明文，同樣也有事例，但是這些事例并非文章的主體部分，它們只是起到引出說明文中心大意的作用，也就是說是次要的部分。請看下面的語篇：

【例】（《考試說明》中樣題的第二、三段）In the early 16th century,people thought that Dirt on the skin was a means to block out Disease,as medical opinion had it that washing off Dirt with hot water could open up the skin and let ills in.A particular Danger was thought to lie in public baths.By 1538,the French king had closed the bath houses in his kingdom.So Did the king of England in 1546.Thus began a long time when the rich and the poor in Europe lived with Dirt in a friendly way.HenryⅣ,King of France,was famously Dirty.Upon learning that a nobleman had taken a bath,the king ordered that,to avoid the attack of Disease,the nobleman should not go out.

Though the belief in the merit（好處）of Dirt was long-lived,dirt has no longer been regarded as a nice neighbor ever since the 18 century.Scientifically speaking,cleaning away Dirt is good to health.Clean water supply and hand washing are practical means of preventing Disease.Yet,it seems that standards of cleanliness have moved beyond science since World War Ⅱ.Advertisements repeatedly sell the idea:clothes need to be whiter than white,cloths ever softer,surfaces to shine.Has the hate for Dirt,however,gone too far?

【分析】綜觀上面有關(guān)人們對于灰塵的不同態(tài)度的兩段內(nèi)容，考生們在進行概要寫作的時候很容易進入誤區(qū)，將第一段的歐洲的具體情況作為重心展開論述，而實際上本篇的第一個要點要從宏觀上概括十六世紀歐洲人認為灰塵可以預(yù)防疾病的觀點，而第二個要點則是反過來說十八世紀的歐洲人改變了之前的觀點。這兩個要點都與具體的人物，如法國國王Henry Ⅳ無關(guān)。因此對于使用事例法引出主題的說明文，學(xué)生在確定主題時應(yīng)忽略事例直奔論點。

【方法策略】判斷事例法的方法主要是關(guān)注時態(tài)的變化，通常情況下說明文的前后兩段都是一般現(xiàn)在時，而使用事例法的說明文則是前面的一段使用一般過去時，出現(xiàn)中心大意的一段則使用一般現(xiàn)在時，只有關(guān)注到這種時態(tài)上的變化特點才能判斷前后兩段孰輕孰重，進而確定概要寫作的要點。

4.提問法

英語的行文結(jié)構(gòu)與中文的行文結(jié)構(gòu)的類似之處在于都會采取提問的方式來引出段落主旨，因此，筆者建議考生要重視段落中的一般疑問句或特殊疑問句，否則難以準確確定寫作的要點。

【例】It’s a familiar but uncomfortable feeling.Your best friend will marry a handsome Doctor,and the congratulatory hug you offer lacks genuine warmth.Your friend is made the team for Saturday’s big game,and you take a certain pleasure in telling him you can’t be there to watch him play.You smile but a voice in your head asks,why them and not you?

Envy is a shortcoming of character we like to keep in our heart secretly.How shameful is it not to be looking forward with Delight to your Day as your best friend’s bridesmaid! Who would hope your friend might suffer some injury,so you can take his place on the team?

Envy is everywhere.It seems to be in our nature to hate others’gifts and good fortune,especially if we see them as advantages they shouldn’t have.

【分析】上面有關(guān)嫉妒的語段的內(nèi)容比較抽象，因為涉及心理學(xué)方面的知識所以給廣大考生確定要點徒增了不少的困難，但是如果我們緊緊把握疑問句之后往往是要點這一原則，確定“Envy is a shortcoming of character we like to keep in our heart secretly.” 和“Envy is everywhere.It seems to be in our nature to hate others’ gifts and good fortune,”這三句是相對重要的內(nèi)容，那么考生便可輕松確定寫作要點。

【方法策略】判斷提問法的方法更加簡單，那就是依據(jù)標點符號“？”進行判斷：如果出現(xiàn)了特殊疑問句，我們要問自己其后面的內(nèi)容是不是就是中心要點，很可能問號后面的籠統(tǒng)的回答就是作者要著重提出的觀點。

二、概要寫作要點表達的方法

確定好概要寫作的要點并不能保證寫作一定能夠得到高分，因為下一步把確定后的要點用自己的語言高級、準確、精煉地表達出來同樣也不是件容易的事情，在這個環(huán)節(jié)中，學(xué)生常見的問題是不知道遵循哪些寫作的原則來表達寫作要點，使概要寫作的表達具有有效性和新穎性，下面筆者還是結(jié)合上面四段素材分別從變換詞匯、變換句式、注意虛實和注意銜接四個方面來具體闡述概要寫作的表達方法。每段素材中的畫線部分即文章要點，而后面的要點表達都緊緊圍繞著這些要點展開。

1.變換詞匯

【例】（2019 年6 月高考英語浙江卷概要寫作第一段）Parents everywhere praise their kids.Jenn Berman,author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy and Confident Kids,says,“We’ve gone to the opposite extreme of a few Decades ago when parents tended to be more strict.”By giving kids a lot of praise,parents think they’re building their children’s confidence,when,in fact,it may be just the opposite.Too much praise can backfire and,when given in a way that’s insincere,make kids afraid to try new things or take a risk for fear of not being able to stay on top where their parents’ praise has put them.

【要點確定】反襯法（根據(jù)表示轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系的連接詞in fact)

【分析】考慮到前面都在介紹表揚的好處，因此這部分內(nèi)容要簡單提到表揚的好處，但是不能作為主要內(nèi)容來呈現(xiàn)，主要內(nèi)容是in fact 后面的內(nèi)容，即過度表揚的壞處，兩者之間使用定語從句銜接，不用簡單句和并列句。

【表達形式】Nowadays parents tend to overpraise their children,which may have bad effects on them.

【表達亮點】根據(jù)詞匯變換原則把Too much praise 替換為overpraise。進行詞匯變換的前提是要儲備好足夠的同義詞，然后根據(jù)具體情況靈活切換。

2.變換句式

【例】It’s a familiar but uncomfortable feeling.Your best friend will marry a handsome Doctor,and the congratulatory hug you offer lacks genuine warmth.Your friend is made the team for Saturday’s big game,and you take a certain pleasure in telling him you can’t be there to watch him play.You smile but a voice in your head asks,why them and not you?

Envy is a shortcoming of character we like to keep in our heart secretly.How shameful it is not to be looking forward with Delight to your Day as your best friend’s bridesmaid! Who would hope your friend might suffer some injury,so you can take his place on the team?

Envy is everywhere.It seems to be in our nature to hate others’ gifts and good fortune,especially if we see them as advantages they shouldn’t have.

【要點確定】提問法（根據(jù)前面why 和Who 引導(dǎo)的特殊疑問句以及問號）

【分析】考慮到本文介紹的嫉妒這一心理現(xiàn)象的內(nèi)容比較抽象，在進行要點表達時要突出主題，即圍繞嫉妒的概念以及嫉妒的存在形式展開，其他旁枝末節(jié)可以忽略不計，千萬不能胡子眉毛一把抓，造成主題不明。

【表達形式】Envy is a common but unpleasant feeling,which is a secret hidden in our heart.

【表達亮點】根據(jù)句型變換原則把簡單句改成非限制性定語從句，在表達概要主題時盡量多用名詞性從句、定語從句、狀語從句和強調(diào)結(jié)構(gòu)，但是不建議在概要寫作這種說明類的文體中使用倒裝句。

3.注意虛實

【例】（2018 年11 月高考英語浙江卷概要寫作第四段）Now,if time and money are making it impossible,then check out the online college fairs at CollegeWeekLive.It’s a chance to chat online with admissions officers,students,and college counselors（顧問）,and it won’t cost you a penny! You can register for its online college fair at collegeweeklive.com.While visiting an online college fair can’t take the place of an actual campus visit,it can be a very useful tool that along with all your other research will help you make an informed Decision about which colleges or universities you’d like to attend.

【要點確定】直白法（根據(jù)前后兩句的虛實情況)

【分析】表達要點時要把主要筆墨放在第一句，即虛寫的一句，如果一定要兼顧后面的實寫部分，也只能是一筆帶過，不能過分浪費寶貴的筆墨。

【表達形式】Finally if you lack time and money,using online college fairs could be another option.

【表達亮點】原文中使用了祈使句，而概要寫作要求避免重復(fù)，但是內(nèi)容又必須與原文一致，所以使用動名詞作主語這一表達方式便是個不錯的選擇。其次，option 這個單詞是高級詞匯，在這里出現(xiàn)也頗為應(yīng)景。因此平時學(xué)生必須多積累高級句型和高級詞匯，只有這樣才能在關(guān)鍵時刻為寫作增光添彩。

4.注意銜接

【例】（《考試說明》中樣題的第二、三段）In the early 16th century,people thought that Dirt on the skin was a means to block out Disease,as medical opinion had it that washing off Dirt with hot water could open up the skin and let ills in.A particular Danger was thought to lie in public baths.By 1538,the French king had closed the bath houses in his kingdom.So Did the king of England in 1546.Thus began a long time when the rich and the poor in Europe lived with Dirt in a friendly way.Henry Ⅳ,King of France,was famously Dirty.Upon learning that a nobleman had taken a bath,the king ordered that,to avoid the attack of Disease,the nobleman should not go out.

Though the belief in the merit（好處）of Dirt was long-lived,dirt has no longer been regarded as a nice neighbor ever since the 18 century.Scientifically speaking,cleaning away Dirt is good to health.Clean water supply and hand washing are practical means of preventing Disease.Yet,it seems that standards of cleanliness have moved beyond science since World War Ⅱ.Advertisements repeatedly sell the idea:clothes need to be whiter than white,cloths ever softer,surfaces to shine.Has the hate for Dirt,however,gone too far?

【要點確定】事例法（根據(jù)前后兩段時態(tài)不同，第一段中多數(shù)句子為一般過去時，而第二段中大部分句子是一般現(xiàn)在時）

【分析】兩個要點之間如果不使用表達相互關(guān)系的連接詞也未嘗不可，但是如果使用了合適的連接詞則會使文章的邏輯性更強，所以however,in addition,as a result(consequence),to sum up 等表示各種不同關(guān)系的連接詞還是要適時地出現(xiàn)在概要寫作的要點表達中的。

【表達形式】For a long time in history,people of some European countries,such as France,believed that Dirt protected people from getting ill.（要點1）However,people began to change their attitudes to Dirt about 200 years ago.（要點2）

【表達亮點】前后兩個要點明顯存在著轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系，因此使用However 這個連接詞來銜接這兩個要點非常合適。建議考生在復(fù)習(xí)備考時歸納表示不同關(guān)系的連接詞，分門別類地記憶，做到能夠在概要寫作中運用自如。

應(yīng)對概要寫作這一高考新題型，宏觀確定要點和微觀進行表達這兩個方面缺一不可，宏觀確定要點，即把握語篇的主要內(nèi)容，拋棄旁枝末節(jié)，抓住主要信息進行轉(zhuǎn)化，而微觀表達則是從語言的高級性、準確性和內(nèi)容的流暢性入手，力爭使文章與眾不同。只有考生持有藝術(shù)性的態(tài)度、從兩方面著手才能穩(wěn)步提高概要寫作的寫作能力，從而在高考中寫出驚艷的高分作文。