JOKES

武俊飛

I Have to Be Gentle

The time came for annual immunizations at our overseas Air Force base. To get us all vaccinated as quickly as possible， the veterinary surgeon was pressed into service. I got my injection from the vet. “Wow，” I said， “you did that so gently. I hardly felt it.” “I have to be gentle，” he said. “My patients can bite.”

我不得不輕柔

我們海外空軍基地一年一次的免疫接種時(shí)間到了。為了使我們盡快全部地接種完，他們征用了獸醫(yī)來幫忙。 一位獸醫(yī)給我注射?！巴?，” 我說，“你注射得這么輕柔，我?guī)缀鯖]感覺到?！?獸醫(yī)說：“我不得不輕柔，我的患者是會(huì)咬人的?！?/p>

A New Employee

Being the office supervisor， I had to have a word with a new employee who never arrived at work on time. I explained that her tardiness was unacceptable and that other employees had noticed that she was walking in late every day. After listening to my complaints， she agreed that this was a problem and even offered a solution. “Is there another door I could use？”

一位新職員

身為辦公室主管， 我不得不和一位從不準(zhǔn)時(shí)上班的新職員談一談。我向她解釋說公司不允許上班遲到，而且其他的職員已經(jīng)注意到了她每天總是晚進(jìn)來。在聽了我的不滿意見之后，她承認(rèn)這是個(gè)問題，甚至還提出了解決辦法：“還有另外的門我可以走嗎？”

Visual Training

The squad were having “visual training”. One smart recruit was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field. The party was so faraway that the men appeared as mere dots， but unhesitatingly the recruit replied， “Sixteen men and a sergeant， sir.”

“Right， but how do you know there's a sergeant there？”

“He's not doing any digging， sir.”

視力訓(xùn)練

班里正在進(jìn)行“視力訓(xùn)練”。一個(gè)聰明伶俐的新兵被班長(zhǎng)叫出來數(shù)遠(yuǎn)處曠野上采掘隊(duì)的人數(shù)。采掘隊(duì)在很遠(yuǎn)的地方，那些人看起來只是一些小點(diǎn)兒。但是這個(gè)新兵毫不猶豫地回答?！笆鶄€(gè)兵外加一個(gè)中士，長(zhǎng)官。”

“正確，可是你怎么知道那兒有一個(gè)中士？”

“他不干活，長(zhǎng)官?！?/p>

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled， put the cheese into his mouth and then said： “You must have better eyes than your mother， sonny. Where did you find the cheese？” “In the rat-trap， sir，”

replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時(shí)，家里沒有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會(huì)兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子里?？腿宋⑿χ涯汤曳胚M(jìn)嘴里說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？”“在捕鼠夾上，先生?！蹦切∧泻⒄f。