高中英語段落寫作剖析及課堂應(yīng)用研究
——基于一堂段落寫作技巧指導示范課的思考

王靜靜

一、段落寫作的重要性

高質(zhì)量的段落是優(yōu)秀文本的必要組成部分，段落的質(zhì)量直接決定整個篇章的成敗。段落要素及寫作技巧的掌握是提升學生閱讀能力及寫作能力的重要途徑。近年來的高考英語改革越來越重視寫作考查，賦分比例越來越高，如高考改革首批試點浙江省高考英語寫作包括應(yīng)用文與讀后續(xù)寫或內(nèi)容概要，分值達40分。究其原因，在于寫作這一主觀考查形式能最大限度地反映學生的綜合語言運用能力。

二、英漢段落特征及學生存在的問題

英語寫作一直以來是相當一部分學生的短板。學生的習作往往存在結(jié)構(gòu)混亂、主旨不清等問題，他們不知道如何組織段落，這與其不了解英語段落的結(jié)構(gòu)特征不無關(guān)系。

20世紀60年代，卡普蘭（Kaplan R.B.1996）明確提出“英語段落展開的方式呈直線型，通常以話題陳述句開始，后面跟有若干分述部分，其意思的流動是朝著逐漸明晰的方向進行的”。之后，多位學者的研究也印證了這個理論。換言之，英語段落呈線型結(jié)構(gòu)，典型的英語段落結(jié)構(gòu)是用主題句（Topic Sentence）開門見山地闡明這個段落的話題，明確作者觀點；隨后用擴展句（Supporting Sentence）對主題句加以說明或闡釋，層層展開；有的段落結(jié)尾還會有結(jié)論句（ConcludingSentence），重申主題或者引出下文。整個段落組織嚴謹，有較強的邏輯結(jié)構(gòu)。這根植于西方人的邏輯思維或者分析思維。相比較而言，漢語段落則呈螺旋型結(jié)構(gòu)，往往不直接進入主題，作者的觀點非常含蓄，常常在層層鋪墊之后才逐漸明晰，經(jīng)常缺失主題句或結(jié)論句。段落中的句子組合也往往比較隨意，沒有明顯的邏輯結(jié)構(gòu)，經(jīng)常圍繞主題不斷重復，一個段落往往可以表達一個甚至數(shù)個意思，所表達的意思往往需要讀者自己理解、領(lǐng)悟。這同樣是東方人辯證思維的產(chǎn)物。

由于英漢民族思維方式上的差異，學生在英語段落乃至全篇的行文中深受母語的負遷移干擾。即使學生掌握了詞匯、句型，能夠?qū)懗龅氐赖木渥?，在結(jié)構(gòu)上仍然存在較大問題：一些學生喜歡在開頭寫一大堆無關(guān)痛癢的細枝末節(jié)，遲遲不進入主題甚至跑題；一些學生進入了主題，展開的內(nèi)容與主題沒有密切聯(lián)系；還有的學生隨心所欲，所寫內(nèi)容毫無邏輯性可言……這些都是不符合英語段落寫作模式的。

三、研究意義和目的

針對中學英語教學中普遍存在學生寫作結(jié)構(gòu)不明晰、層次不清楚的問題，明確段落的內(nèi)容構(gòu)成和形式的完整性是中學生寫作的重要環(huán)節(jié)。段落要素和閱讀、寫作密不可分，掌握段落要素不僅可以幫助學生在閱讀理解中快速定位段落的關(guān)鍵信息，還可以指導學生在寫作中構(gòu)建好段落框架，提高他們的閱讀、寫作能力。

四、教學實例

段落是構(gòu)成文章的基礎(chǔ)，牛津高中《英語》Module 10 Unit 2 Grammar and usage：The elements of a paragraph介紹了段落的組成要素，即主題句、擴展句和結(jié)論句。主題句在段落中通常位于段首，包含了段落的要點。擴展句應(yīng)按邏輯順序展開，用以解釋或證明主題句的內(nèi)容。結(jié)論句再次強調(diào)主題句內(nèi)容或者引出下文。教材包括書后的Workbook還輔以了必要的練習。

授課班級是物生普通班，學生英語能力總體較弱，尤其在閱讀能力和寫作能力上有欠缺。段落要素的學習對他們來說非常必要。通過學習，能夠幫助他們在閱讀理解中快速定位關(guān)鍵信息，在寫作中構(gòu)建段落框架。

教學設(shè)計如下：

（一）教學目標

Learn to identify the topic sentence and the concluding sentence；

Master some micro-skills to write a coherent paragraph；

Realize the importance of the elements of a paragraph.

（二）設(shè)計理念

先通過七個段落引出段落的基本要素及應(yīng)該掌握的相關(guān)技巧，由淺入深，環(huán)環(huán)相扣。在后面的段落寫作中指導學生按照“總起—分述—總結(jié)”的模式組織文章，讓學生鞏固所學技巧，提高寫作水平，活學活用。整堂課以學生為中心，教師僅加以引導，讓學生自己在學習中分析段落、剖析句子、提煉技巧、判斷正誤、應(yīng)用寫作，充分調(diào)動學生的能動性，體現(xiàn)學生的主體地位。

（三）教學過程

Step 1：Warming up

Is the hamburger delicious?Why is it attractive?Different foods are put together to make it attractive to you.Do you want to make your writing attractive to the teachers like the hamburger?A good text is made up of good paras.Like the layers of a hamburger，a para has some basic elements.What are they?—Topic sentence/Supporting sentences/Concluding sentence（板書）

【設(shè)計說明】導入部分基于學生預習了教材內(nèi)容，用漢堡包這個具體、形象的事物幫助他們更好地理解一個好的段落應(yīng)該具備的要素，開門見山，直奔主題。

Step 2：Reading for elements of a paragraph

1.Topic Sentence

Every paragraph has its main point.In which element can it be found? —Yes，in the topic sentence.The topic sentence is the soul of a paragraph.

2 mins for you to finish Workbook page 105，C2/1 and think about the reasons for your choice.

Check the answer first.（d：Human beings should stop hurting animals.）

In this paragraph，how do you find the topic sentence in this paragraph?Have you found that there is a word repeated for several times?—Hurt.That is the key word.That is the first skill to help us identify the topic sentence：locate key words.（板書）

【設(shè)計說明】部分學生會誤選a選項（Human beings and animals should live together in peace.），這個環(huán)節(jié)就是引導學生學會定位關(guān)鍵詞來選擇主題句。a選項表述雖然正確，但這段文字通篇講的是人們有意或無意對動物造成的傷害，關(guān)鍵詞是hurt，主題句的第一個要素是要具備關(guān)鍵詞。

2 mins for you to finish Workbook page105，C2/2

Check the answer first.（a：Success favors hard-working people.）

It seems that three choices contain the same word.—Success.Is it the key word of the paragraph?Is it enough to find out just the key word?—No.So there should be a limitation on the key word.Which aspect of success does the paragraph talk about?Is it about waiting for opportunities to succeed?Is it about the difficulty in being successful?What is it about?How can we achieve success?—By working hard.That’s limitation on the key words.（板書）

【設(shè)計說明】四個選項中有三個都涉及關(guān)鍵詞success，僅憑定位關(guān)鍵詞不能選出正確選項。這個環(huán)節(jié)就是引導學生意識到除了尋找關(guān)鍵詞，還需要對關(guān)鍵詞進行限定，讀懂這段文字主要講的是關(guān)于這個關(guān)鍵詞的什么內(nèi)容。

You did a good job in choosing!What about writing one?Is it more challenging for you?What is a good topic sentence?Brief or long?Clear of vague?How to write a brief and clear topic sentence?Can these two skills help you?Time for you to write a suitable topic sentence for paragraph C.3 mins.

Paragraph C：Have you heard or read stories about people who are sick and have been healed by listening to music?Is it a miracle or a successful form of medicine?

____________________________Some of the ways people use music therapy（療法）are to reduce pain，such as in childbirth or during cancer treatments，or to stimulate brain activity after an injury or memory loss.Music therapy has also been successful in aiding children to overcome disabilities.Children can move their bodies with the music and stamp along to the beat.

Discussion：Share your answers in groups，choose the best one and give us your reasons.2 mins.

Invite students to share their topic sentences.（實物投影）

（引導學生用技巧分析主題句）Key word：music therapy.What is the limitation?What is it used for?

Limitation：to reduce pain/to stimulate brain activity/to overcome disabilities—to treat different medical conditions and illnesses.

One possible answer：Around the world，music therapy is being used to treat different medical conditions and illnesses.

【設(shè)計說明】在學生了解了選擇主題句的兩個技巧后，這個環(huán)節(jié)是幫助學生鞏固這兩個技巧，并將其應(yīng)用到寫作中。通過讓學生分享、比較自己的作品，引導他們學會分析及欣賞好的主題句。

Have you noticed that there are two questions before the topic sentence?Do you know why?Why does the author use questions here?—To attract/grab the attention of readers.We call it a hook（板書）.A hook can be a quotation，an interesting fact or just a question.Interested in the hook，maybe readers can’t wait to read the whole paragraph.

【設(shè)計說明】引導學生了解段落中“引子”的用意。

2.Concluding Sentence

The topic sentence tells us the main point.What about the concluding sentence?3 mins for you to finish paragraph D.Think about the function of the concluding sentence.

Paragraph D：Too much packaging is doing serious damage to the environment.The UK，for example，is running out of areas for burying this unnecessary waste.If such packaging is burnt，it gives off greenhouse gases which go on to cause the greenhouse effect.Recycling helps，but the process itself uses energy.____________________

Collect two answers of the students and check the answers.

A concluding sentence is used to emphasize the topic in a new way.For example，“That’s to say，it is necessary to controlpackaging.”A concluding sentence can also be used to introduce the topic of the next paragraph.For example，“So，what can we do to control packaging?”After reading it，what can we find in the next paragraph?—Ways to control packaging.Point out the skill：Emphasizing the topic in a new way or introducing the topic of the next paragraph.（板書）

【設(shè)計說明】不是所有的段落都有結(jié)論句。在學習了主題句之后，緊接著學習結(jié)論句，目的是讓學生體會兩者之間的聯(lián)系。這個環(huán)節(jié)通過讓學生寫結(jié)論句，并欣賞不同版本的結(jié)論句，幫助他們了解結(jié)論句的作用，即強調(diào)主題句的內(nèi)容或引出下文。

3.Supporting Sentences

Is it enough to have a good topic sentence and a concluding sentence?What are supporting sentences used for?They help explain or prove the topic sentence.Turn to page 105，Workbook，C1.There are so many sentences and can we call it a paragraph?—No.Why?These sentences are not organized in order so we can’t understand at all.Should a paragraph be organized in a logical order?How do you organize the paragraph?Put the sentences in a correct order and underline words that help form the logical paragraph.

Check the answer：d—g—h—j—e—a—f—b—i—c

Are there any words to help you?—First，however，second，third，besides.They are transitions.

That’s skill 3：Organize the supporting sentences in a logical order，using transitions to link them if necessary.（板書）In this way，we can make our paragraph coherent.

【設(shè)計說明】這個環(huán)節(jié)可以幫助學生掌握最基本的寫好擴展句的技巧，即按邏輯排序并輔以恰當?shù)倪^渡詞。

In fact，it’s common for us to make logical mistakes when writing.

Here are two paragraphs from your mid-term examination papers（見圖 1、圖 2）.

Discussion：Go through the two paragraphs to check：Do the paragraphs have all the elements?Are the supporting sentences related to the topic and organized logically?

Paragraph F：

圖1

Paragraph G：

圖2

Paragraph F：The first point and the second point are similar：Have a quiet place to study without being disturbed.What does“this habit”in the third point refer to?We can’t find“the habit”in the context.

Paragraph G：Generally speaking，it is a good paragraph.But the most obvious mistake is that keeping healthy is not directly related to keeping concentrated.

Besides a logical order，the supporting details should be related.（板書）

【設(shè)計說明】分析學生的習作可以發(fā)現(xiàn)，大部分學生基本能寫一些必要的過渡詞來連接擴展句，最大的問題在于所寫內(nèi)容不相關(guān)。這個環(huán)節(jié)呈現(xiàn)了學生在剛剛結(jié)束的期中考試中的習作，圖1不知所云，圖2看似段落要素具備，但細看還有考慮欠妥的地方。只有學會了判斷，學生才能在以后的寫作中避免犯類似的錯誤。

To sum up，how to write a good paragraph?What makes a good paragraph?A good paragraph includes a brief and clear topic sentence，with key words and limitation；supporting sentences with a logical order，and related details；sometimes a concluding sentence to emphasize the topic sentence in a new way or introduce the topic in the next paragraph.

Step 3：Paragraph writing

Why not write a paragraph now to check if you can apply the skills to the practice?

Topic：How to keep concentrated as a Senior Three student？

Word limit：about 60 words

2 mins for you to share the ways to keep concentrated in groups first.

6 mins for you to write the paragraph according to the structure.Pay attention to your handwriting.

2 mins for you to exchange your paper，check if your partner has finished his writing according to the structure.Give a star if you find a good sentence and underline the mistaken sentences if any.Do remember，focus on the structure instead of grammar.

2 mins for you to have a presentation.Comment on your partner’s writing.（實物投影）

Here is my paragraph.（范文實物投影）Read aloud.

Do you think it is a well-developed paragraph?Are the supporting details related to the topic?

Polish your paragraph after class.

One possible version：

As a Senior Three student，it’s high time to make efforts to concentrate.First，set clear short-term and long-term goals to motivate myself.Second，change passive learning into active learning.For example，write down my thought and explanation as well as the teacher’s words when having classes.Furthermore，strike a balance between study and rest.In this way，I can keep focusing my attention when studying.I’m fully aware that only with a determined mind can I achieve success.

【設(shè)計說明】掌握關(guān)于段落要素的幾個技巧的最終目的是應(yīng)用于寫作。在了解了兩段學生習作的問題后，順勢重寫這個段落，將本堂課學到的技巧應(yīng)用于其中?？紤]到專注這個話題比較難展開，讓學生進行討論、交換意見有助于內(nèi)容的充實。

Step 4：Conclusion

Now do you think your paragraph is as attractive as the hamburger?

In a word，make your topic sentence as Attractive as possible with key words；make your supporting sentences as Believable as possible with logical order and related details；make your concluding sentences as Convincing as possible by emphasizing.

I believe with this ABC Principle，you can write a good paragraph because good sentences make a good paragraph.Good paragraphs make a good passage.

【設(shè)計說明】引導學生再次回顧本堂課的重點。

（四）板書設(shè)計（見圖3）

圖3

（五）教學反思

整堂課容量較大。在實例中通過對段落要素的層層剖析，讓學生很好地掌握了相關(guān)技能，達到了預設(shè)的目標。教師能運用語言技巧設(shè)置懸念或小亮點以吸引學生，給這堂以閱讀寫作技巧為主的課錦上添花。

結(jié)束語

教師通過對英語段落結(jié)構(gòu)的深層次剖析，讓學生從本質(zhì)上了解英漢段落的差異性，從而幫助他們真正掌握英語段落在框架層面上的寫作技巧。總之，只有明確篇章中各段落的基本要素，并在語言上進行推敲、完善，才能成就一篇優(yōu)秀的英語習作。