Exercising with My Mother

本期點評名師

陳傳光 男，江蘇省連云港市羅陽中學高級教師，從事教育工作15年;江蘇省教育學會會員、連云港市優(yōu)秀教育園丁，獲英語專業(yè)技能大賽市一等獎、班主任基本功大賽市一等獎;有多篇論文在各主流和核心期刊上發(fā)表;指導學生在各類競賽中取得了不錯的成績，多人獲得省級獎和地市級獎。

Im not an active girl. I prefer to stay indoors to read or watch TV when I finish do① my homework. As a result， Im thin and weak. I used to catch cold easily.

A month ago， I had a high fever and stayed in the② bed for totally five days. After I was recovered， I made up my mind to exercise regularly. My mother said I could join③ her morning jogging. Yesterday morning， I got up early and went to the centre④ park with her. We ran along the lane in the park for twenty minutes. I ran very slowly， but my mother was always by my side and encouraged me to hold on.

It was a little tiring but I felt good after that. Ill keep exercising from now on.

江蘇省連云港市羅陽中學九（1）班 王陽

1. 優(yōu)點：

本文詳細講述了作者自己和媽媽一起鍛煉身體的起因、經(jīng)過和結果。整篇文章用詞得當、敘事條理清晰，是一篇不錯的學生習作。

2. 需要修改的地方：

①do改為doing。finish doing sth.意為“完成做某事”。

②the去掉。in bed意為“臥床”。

③join改為join in。join后接團體、組織、人群，join in后接活動。

④centre改為central。修飾名詞park，應使用形容詞central。central park意為“中央公園，中心公園”。

3. 評分：

按江蘇省連云港市中考英語作文滿分25分的評分標準，本文修改前可得23分。