拼命守護最后的一英寸吧
——V字仇殺隊中Valerie的信

繪/也圓

拼命守護最后的一英寸吧
——V字仇殺隊中Valerie的信

繪/也圓

Hold the Last Part of Humanity

I know there's no way I can convince you this is not one of their tricks， but I don't care.I am me.My name is Valerie.I don't think I'll live much longer，and I wanted to tell someone about my life.This is the only autobiography①autobiography英 ［??t?ba?'?ɡr?f?］ 美 ［，?t?ba?'ɑɡr?f］ n. 自傳；自傳文學We don't have to speculate because the President tells us himself in his autobiography， Dreams from My Father. 不必猜測，因為這位總統(tǒng)在自傳中已經(jīng)告訴了我們——《來自父親的夢想》。that I will ever write and， God I'm writing it on toilet paper.

In 2002， I fell in love with a girl named Christina.That year I came out to my parents. I couldn't have done it without Chris holding my hand.My father wouldn't look at me.He told me to go and never come back.My mother said nothing.But I'd only told them the truth.Was that so selfish？Our integrity②integrity英 ［?n'teɡr?t?］ 美 ［?n't?ɡr?ti］ n. 完整；正直；誠實；廉正Therefore， the integrity， legitimacy， survival and effectiveness of this Organization depend on you all.因此，聯(lián)合國的完整性、合法性、生存和效力取決于整個大會。sells for so little，but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us.But within that inch we are free.

I'd always known what I wanted to do with my life and in 2015 I starred③star英 ［stɑ?］ 美 ［stɑr］ n. 星，恒星；明星；星形物vt. 用星號標于；由……主演，由……擔任主角vi. 擔任主角The opera star was belauded by the press. 這名歌劇明星被報刊捧上了天。in my first film， I met Ruth.The first time we kissed， I knew I never wanted to kiss any other lips but hers again.We moved to a small flat in London together.She grew Scarlet Carsons for me in our window box and our place always smelt of roses.

Those were the best years of my life.But America's war grew worse and worse，and eventually came to London.After that，there were no roses anymore. Not for anyone.I remember how the meaning of words began to change. I remember how "different" became dangerous.

I still don't understand it why they hate us so much.They took Ruth while she was out buying food. I've never cried so hard in my life.It wasn't long till they came for me.

It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place.But for three years，I had roses and apologized to no one. I shall die here.Every inch of me shall perish④perish英 ［'per??］ 美 ［'p?r??］ vt. 使麻木；毀壞vi. 死亡；毀滅；腐爛；枯萎We fight against the idea of allowing even the most weak and sickly human perish and do everything we can to keep human beings alive.對于那種即使是僅允許最體弱多病的人滅亡的想法，我們是極力反對的，并且盡我們一切努力使人們活著。.Every inch...but one.An inch.It is small， and it is fragile，and it is the only thing in the world worth having.We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us.I hope that， whoever you are，you escape this place. I hope that the world turns and that things get better.But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you and even though I may never meet you laugh with you， cry with you or kiss you，I love you.With all my heart I love you.

——Valerie

我知道我無法說服你去相信這不是秘密警察的又一個把戲，但是我不在意。我就是我，我的名字是瓦洛莉，我不認為自己還能活多久，但我希望能把一生的故事告訴別人，這是我寫過的唯一自傳，上帝啊，竟寫在廁紙上。

2002年，我與克里斯蒂娜相愛了。那一年我向我父母坦白了我出柜這件事。如果不是克里斯握著我的手，我永遠不會有勇氣那么做。我的父親厭惡到不愿意看我，他要我滾出家門再不要回來，母親則保持了沉默。但是我僅僅是告訴他們真相，難道這就是自私嗎？我們的正直、誠實并不值錢，但卻是我們所擁有的一切。那是我們最后的一英寸，在這一英寸中，我們是自由的。

我向來知道自己的目標在何方。2015年，我主演了第一部電影。我遇到了露絲。我們第一次接吻時我就知道，我這一生再也不想吻其他人。我們搬到倫敦的一個小公寓里面，露絲在窗臺上種植猩紅卡爾森，整個屋子永遠都溢滿花香，那是我生命中最好的日子。

但是美國內(nèi)戰(zhàn)愈演愈烈，最終戰(zhàn)火燒到了倫敦，之后，我們再也不能種植玫瑰了，沒有人能。我還記得詞匯的意義發(fā)生著變化，我記得“不同”開始變得危險。

我始終不能明白為什么他們這么恨我們。露絲出去買食物的時候他們抓走了她，我從沒有哭得這么厲害過，我知道我也快了。

我的生命會在這么糟糕的地方結(jié)束這真是奇怪，但是在生命中的三年里，我因擁有過玫瑰而問心無愧。我會死在這里，我身體的每一英寸都會腐爛、每一英寸……只剩一英寸。這一英寸，它渺小、脆弱，但卻是世界上唯一值得擁有的一英寸。我們絕不能放棄或者背叛它，我們絕不能讓人把這一英寸都奪走。我希望，無論你是誰，你能逃離這里。我希望，那時候這個世界已經(jīng)改變，形勢已經(jīng)好轉(zhuǎn)。但我最大的希望是你能明白——當我說“我愛你”時的意義。我不知道你是誰，也未曾與你共度時光，與你共享歡笑淚水，或曾親吻過你，可是我愛你，全心全意地，我愛你。

——瓦洛莉