迷失在社交媒體的自疑漩渦中，你怎么辦?

by Jancee Dunn

烏蕪 譯

迷失在社交媒體的自疑漩渦中，你怎么辦?

How to Beat Social Media Self-Doubt

by Jancee Dunn

烏蕪 譯

你是否曾有過這樣的經(jīng)歷：看著朋友圈、微博、qq空間上朋友們發(fā)的各種高大上的照片，心里忽然生出那么一滴滴的自我懷疑——為什么別人的生活如此豐富多彩，自己的卻這般枯燥無味呢？針對這種情況，讓我們來看看心理專家們是怎么說的！

The other day, I was so pleased with an apricot-1)almond smoothie I made that I decided to post it on Instagram. First, though, I browsed friends’ feeds. Fortyfive minutes later, I was almost dizzy from the endless2)slide show of the Perfect Life: one person serenely paddleboarding (“3)Got the hang of it after one lesson!”), another lounging on a hotel bed (“Just had the Best. Massage. Ever.”). Oh, and a smoothie—this one4)perched on a hibiscus-covered balcony overlooking a Caribbean beach. I grabbed my phone and deleted the photo of my now5)schlumpy drink.

前幾天，我對自己做的杏仁奶昔感到十分滿意，所以打算把它的照片傳到Instagram上。但在這之前，我先瀏覽了朋友們發(fā)的照片。四十五分鐘以后，我被那沒完沒了的“完美生活”幻燈片放映弄得頭暈?zāi)垦！?一個(gè)人沉穩(wěn)地劃著沖浪板（“上了一堂課后就學(xué)會了！”），另一個(gè)人慵懶地躺在一張酒店的床上（“剛剛享受了有生以來最棒的一次按摩。”）。天，還有一杯奶昔 —— 一杯擺放在俯瞰著加勒比海灘，被木槿所覆蓋的陽臺上的奶昔。我拿起手機(jī)刪掉了我這張此刻顯得蠢斃了的飲料照片。

These days, it’s gotten impossible to not feel like you’re being6)one-upped online. You ran a 5K? Big deal, when your co-worker posts pictures of her half marathon...for charity. Meanwhile, social media users have perfected the art of simultaneously moaning and boasting,aka moasting: “Someone just asked me what I was studying in college—hello, I’m 34!”

如今，要在網(wǎng)上勝人一籌成為了不可能的事情。你跑了五公里？很了不起！但這時(shí)，你同事發(fā)了一些她跑半程馬拉松比賽的照片……還是慈善賽來著。同時(shí)，社交媒體的用戶已經(jīng)熟練掌握了一套通過抱怨來夸耀自己的說話方式，明貶實(shí)褒的說話方式：“有人剛剛問了我正在讀什么專業(yè)——拜托，我三十四歲了！”

I realize these posts and pretty pictures are often selected and edited. So why do I still have that constant, dispiriting feeling that my own life pales in comparison? In fact, researchers are discovering that7)being immersed in everyone else’s general awesomeness online can be mentally bad for you. A study from the University of Michigan showed that the more time we browse Facebook, the more our sense of well-being drops and lonely feelings jump. One German study reported that after people spent time on Facebook, a full one-third felt frustrated, upset, or envious. (Friends’ vacation8)snaps9)riled them up the most.)

我知道這些帖子和漂亮的照片通常都是經(jīng)過精心挑選、美化編輯的。但為什么在與之比較下我還是會不可抑制地產(chǎn)生一種無盡的沮喪感，感覺自己的人生如此蒼白無力呢？事實(shí)上，研究人員發(fā)現(xiàn)，在網(wǎng)上讓自己陷在別人的美好生活中會對自己的心理健康有害。密歇根大學(xué)的一項(xiàng)研究表明，我們?yōu)g覽臉譜網(wǎng)的時(shí)間越長，我們的幸福感就降得越低、孤獨(dú)感就升得越高。德國的一項(xiàng)研究表明，在我們上完臉譜網(wǎng)后，有整整三分之一的人會感到沮喪、郁悶、或者妒忌。（朋友的度假照片最能引起他們的惱怒。）

1) almond [?ɑ:m?nd] n. 杏樹，杏仁，杏仁狀物

2) slide show 放映幻燈片

3) get the hang of 熟悉某物的用法，理解某事

4) perch [pз:t?] v. 就位，位于

5) schlumpy [?sl?mp?] adj. 不修邊幅的，邋遢的

6) one-upped adj. 勝人一籌的，占上風(fēng)的

7) be immersed in 陷于

8) snap [sn?p] n. 照片

9) rile [ra?l] v. 激怒，使惱怒

10) maniacal [m??na??k?l] adj. 發(fā)狂的，狂亂的

11) fip side 唱片的背面，事物的反面

This feeling is intensifed as we increasingly take our relationships online, says psychologist Gregory Jantz, PhD, author of Hooked: The Pitfalls of Media, Technology, and Social Networking. “One of the biggest groups of Facebook users is women age 32 to 45,” he notes, “and about 35% of the younger ones admit that the frst thing they do after they crawl out of bed, before they go to the bathroom, is check Facebook.” Adding to our neediness is the addictive—and sometimes10)maniacal—pursuit of “l(fā)ikes.” According to one consumer-trends survey, 62% of people say they feel better about themselves when others approve of something they post on social media. The11)fip side is the insecuritythat creeps in when only a few people “l(fā)ike” your photo, and the jealousy you feel when a friend’s photo gets a furry of thumbs-up.

心理學(xué)家、博士、《上網(wǎng)成癮：媒體、科技、社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)的陷阱》的作者格雷戈里·詹茨稱，我們在網(wǎng)上與人的交往越頻繁，這種感覺就越強(qiáng)烈?！叭了氖鍤q的女性是臉譜網(wǎng)最大的用戶群之一，” 他指出，“而年齡更小的人中有35%的人承認(rèn)，在他們掙扎起床后，上廁所前所做的第一件事就是查看他們的臉書?！?而我們對別人“點(diǎn)贊”的沉溺，乃至瘋狂追求會增加我們的依賴感。一項(xiàng)消費(fèi)者傾向調(diào)查顯示，有62%的人說當(dāng)有人為他們發(fā)在社交媒體的帖子點(diǎn)贊時(shí)，他們的自我感覺會更加良好。但消極的一面就是如果只有幾個(gè)人“贊”了他們的照片，不安全感就會悄然襲入他們的內(nèi)心，如果他們朋友的照片得到了很多“贊”，他們就會產(chǎn)生嫉妒感。

Of course, it’s human nature to want to present your best self to the world. The ancient Egyptians threw on12)kohl liner and their most stylish linen13)tunic before hitting the market. “There’s something14)alluring about creating an online persona that says, ‘I’m interesting, I have a well-kept home, I eat good food—this is my life!’”says Andrea Bonior, PhD,15)adjunct professor of psychology at Georgetown University. “We16)look to our social media profiles to validate what we want to believe about ourselves.” Yet this17)fluff festival can lead to anxiety about being exposed as a18)fraud, as in living in fear that a high school pal will comment, “Haha, I remember when you had a much larger nose!” beneath your glamourous picture.

當(dāng)然，想把自己最好的一面呈現(xiàn)在世人眼前是人類的天性。古埃及人在出門去集市前都會涂上濃黑的眼線，穿上他們最漂亮的亞麻布束腰外衣?！霸诰W(wǎng)上創(chuàng)造出這樣一個(gè)人物形象：‘我為人風(fēng)趣，我家居雅致，我盡享美食——這就是我的生活！’是件很有吸引力的事?！?喬治敦大學(xué)心理學(xué)系的兼職教授安德里亞·邦尼爾博士這樣說道?！拔覀冎竿宰约旱纳缃幻襟w的人物檔案來證明我們就是自己心目中的那個(gè)人?！比欢@種無意義的狂歡活動卻會引起被人揭穿你是個(gè)騙子的焦慮，因?yàn)槟憬K日惶惶，害怕來個(gè)高中同學(xué)在你那張迷人的照片底下評論：“呵呵，我記得你以前可是有個(gè)大鼻子的！”

12) kohl [k??l] n. 化妝墨，眼影粉

13) tunic [?tju:n?k] n. 束腰外衣

14) alluring [??lj??r??] adj. 迷人的，吸引人的，誘惑的

15) adjunct professor 兼職教授

16) look to 指望

17) fuff [fl?f] n. 無價(jià)值的東西

18) fraud [fr?:d] n. 詭計(jì)，騙子

19) scrupulously [?skru:pj?l?sl?] adv. 小心翼翼地， 多顧慮地

To end the jolts of jealousy, Jantz has a suggestion. When you read a post that leaves you feeling less than ideal, remember that we all19)scrupulously control our self-image. I know it’s true. Recently, I posted a picture of myself and someone commented, “You look amazing!”Well, yes; that’s because I held the camera so high above my head (whereas if I look down at my phone, my refection bears a startling likeness to Donald Trump).

要想杜絕這種嫉妒，詹茨有個(gè)建議。在你看到讓自己感覺不怎么好的帖子時(shí)，記住我們都是在小心翼翼地維護(hù)自己的形象的。我知道確有其事。最近，我發(fā)了一張自己的照片，有人評論道：“你看起來棒極了！”好吧，沒錯(cuò)，但那是因?yàn)槲野褦z像頭放在頭頂上拍的（然而，如果我從上往下看手機(jī)的話，我拍出的樣子會與唐納德·特朗普驚人地相似）。

It also helps to be aware of what sets off self-doubt.“If you hate your old kitchen, maybe you shouldn’t repeatedly check out Mary’s kitchen renovation,” Bonior says. My downfall is others’ ftness triumphs. A few shots of a friend’s20)cyclo-cross race are inspiring; scrolling through hundreds makes me think ‘Why bother?’ and21)shuffe off to the couch. Timing is another trigger. I look at these fabulous pics before bed, when I’m tired and need to decompress—exactly when I feel the most sensitive.

意識到引起自我懷疑的因素也有所幫助。邦尼爾說道：“如果你討厭自己的舊廚房，也許你就不應(yīng)該再三地查看瑪麗的廚房裝修。” 我的失敗愈加襯托出別人的成功。朋友的一些自行車越野賽的照片則能鼓舞人心；看了幾百張照片后，我會這樣想：‘何必自尋煩惱’，然后拖著步子走向沙發(fā)。時(shí)間的選擇也是一個(gè)觸發(fā)點(diǎn)。我在睡前看這些令人贊嘆的照片，那是我感覺疲憊、需要減壓的時(shí)候——也是我最敏感的時(shí)候。

Another cyber solution is to fully get behind your posts. As Bonior says, “You can choose to use others’experiences as a yardstick, or you can believe your standards are valid22)in and of themselves.” Also, back away from the computer—often. “Relationships are best conducted in real life,” Jantz says, “not 140-character23)sound bites.”

另一個(gè)解決辦法是推遲你的發(fā)帖時(shí)間。正如邦尼爾所說的那樣，“你可以選擇參考別人的經(jīng)歷作為準(zhǔn)繩，或者你可以相信自己的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)本身就是正確的。”此外，要經(jīng)常地遠(yuǎn)離電腦?！白詈迷诂F(xiàn)實(shí)生活中進(jìn)行人際交往，” 詹茨說道，“而不是通過140個(gè)字的簡短信息。”

Jantz’s words were on my mind when I saw a friend’s Instagram shots of a trip to Greece. Instead of caving in to jealousy, I called and told her that her photos were like a24)Ralph Lauren ad. She laughed and said, “Don’t look too close or you’ll see that my eyes are red.” Ten minutes beforehand, she and her husband had had a big money fght; the trip, she25)conceded, was great but had been a costly mistake.

當(dāng)我看到朋友發(fā)在Instagram上的一些希臘旅行照片時(shí)，我的腦海中就浮現(xiàn)出詹茨說的這些話。我沒有陷入嫉妒的情緒中，我打電話跟她說，她的照片看起來像是拉爾夫·勞倫的廣告。她笑著說，“不要看得太仔細(xì)，不然你會發(fā)現(xiàn)我的眼睛泛紅。”十分鐘之前，她和丈夫剛剛為了錢大吵一架，她承認(rèn)這次旅程很棒，但是花費(fèi)實(shí)在是太高了。

Now if insecurity sneaks up on me while I’m online, I take it as a sign to switch gears and go for a run, make another26)unphotogenic smoothie or check out the YouTube clip my mother sent of, say, a squirrel eating an ice cream cone. Also, maybe I’ll avoid Beyoncé’s Instagram account altogether.

如今，如果我在上網(wǎng)時(shí)不安全感來襲，我會把這當(dāng)成是一個(gè)要換換狀態(tài)的信號，然后去跑跑步，再做一杯不怎么上鏡的奶昔或者查看我母親傳給我的YouTube視頻，標(biāo)題是：一只吃著甜筒雪糕的松鼠。也許，我還會不去關(guān)注碧昂絲的Instagram 賬號。

20) cyclo-cross 自行車越野賽

21) shuffe off 拖著腳步走去

22) in and of itself 本身

23) sound bite 簡短的信息，文中140字的簡短信息指的是推特微博，一次最多只能發(fā)140個(gè)字

24) Ralph Laure 拉爾夫·勞倫，美國的時(shí)裝品牌

25) concede [k?n?si:d] v. （勉強(qiáng)地）承認(rèn)

26) unphotogenic [??nf??t???d?en?k] n. 不易上鏡頭的