吳詠花,區(qū)俏桃
(1.咸寧學(xué)院,湖北 咸寧 437100;2.廣東佛山永德封頭鍛造有限公司,廣東 佛 528000)
咸寧市星級酒店簡介漢英翻譯淺析*
吳詠花1,區(qū)俏桃2
(1.咸寧學(xué)院,湖北 咸寧 437100;2.廣東佛山永德封頭鍛造有限公司,廣東 佛 528000)
咸寧市多家星級酒店提供的中英文對照資料中隨處可見翻譯失誤。不僅造成與顧客交流的障礙,同時給旅游業(yè)及招商引資帶來負(fù)面影響。根據(jù)語用學(xué)原則和目的論,將咸寧市星級酒店簡介英文翻譯中的失誤進(jìn)行系統(tǒng)分類,分析其原因并總結(jié)出切實可行的翻譯策略。
咸寧市;酒店簡介;翻譯失誤;翻譯策略
此處語言層面的翻譯失誤通常指詞匯和語法錯誤,包括拼寫錯誤,標(biāo)點符號運用不當(dāng)、表達(dá)不當(dāng)及句子結(jié)構(gòu)錯誤等違反目標(biāo)語規(guī)范的錯誤。
Example 1:
源文:溫泉國際酒店是一座集客房、餐飲、會議、娛樂為一體的生態(tài)溫泉度假型五星級酒店。譯文:Asa 5-star rated hotel,Hot spring International Hotel is an ecological and hotspring available hotel especially for holiday makers,providing an integrated service of accommodation,dinning,meeting and amusement.
“Asa”應(yīng)該分開為“As a”,“Hot spring International Hotel”應(yīng)改為“Hot Spring International Hotel”或“Hotspring International Hotel”,因為酒店的名字屬于專有名詞,單詞首字母需要大寫;此外,該譯文尚存需要改進(jìn)之處,如 "生態(tài)溫泉度假型五星級酒店"被生硬地譯為 "an ecological and hotspring available hotel especially for holiday makers",英文不通順;此外,溫泉國際酒店目前仍是四星級酒店,并非源文中的五星級,譯者有責(zé)任來糾正這個錯誤,而不是向讀者提供錯誤信息。擬改譯如下:Hotspring International Hotel is a four-star ecological hotspring resort hotel with an integration of accommodation,catering,meeting and entertainment.
Example 2:
源文:咸寧陽光酒店地處山青水秀的桂鄉(xiāng)咸寧溫泉三號橋地段(淦河大道58號),占地面積8 000平方米,建筑面積10 000平方米。譯文:Xian Ning Sunshine Hotel Located at No.58 Gan He Avenue in WenQuan,The occupancy area is 8 000m2.The building area is 10 000m2.
如此短句包含大量的大小寫和標(biāo)點符號錯誤,可改動如下:Sunshine Hotel is located at No.58 Ganhe Avenue in Wenquan District, Xianning City, with a floor area of 8 000m2and a building area of 10 000m2.
Example 3:
源文:奧蘭多酒店全體員工將秉承“微笑服務(wù),快樂工作”的理念,為每一位賓客提供無微不至的超值服務(wù)。譯文:In conformity with the conception of“smile service and happy work”,all stuff in Orlando Hotel will provide you the best service.
“Smile service and happy work”是對源文的機械翻譯;本應(yīng)用“Staff”之處卻誤拼寫成“stuff”;“provide you the best service”搭配不當(dāng),建議譯為:Adhering to the concept of“serving with a smile,working with pleasure”,we dedicate to provide you with the best service.
語言方面的失誤,可能歸因于譯者的疏忽大意或業(yè)務(wù)水平,甚至可能是機器翻譯后未經(jīng)人工校核的結(jié)果。譯者應(yīng)以嚴(yán)肅認(rèn)真的態(tài)度工作并多方尋求幫助以避免此類翻譯錯誤。
(1)語用語言失誤導(dǎo)致的翻譯失誤
漢語文本通常運用大量華麗的辭藻來吸引讀者;英語最大的特點是句子結(jié)構(gòu)簡單,邏輯分明、描述直接明了。如果英文譯文采用漢語的遣詞造句方式,讀者很難接受此類譯文;機械的逐字翻譯也會降低信息傳達(dá)效率,造成交際失誤。
Example 4:
源文:擁有各式VIP包房,配有多式中藥理療及中、韓、日、歐及美式特色推拿服務(wù),為您洗盡旅程的煩累,著名專業(yè)技師指導(dǎo),指掌之間,享受無限。《溫泉國際酒店》
譯文:Several VIP rooms and various types of physical therapies with traditional Chinese medicine and different types of Chinese,Korean,Japanese,European and American massage shall wipe off your tiredness and weariness arising from your trip.Notable professional staff provides a totally comfortable and pleasing experience for you.
此譯文只是機械地將單詞和短語按照源文語序堆砌在一起,繁冗拖沓,忽視了譯入語的表達(dá)習(xí)慣。擬修改如下:
Revised version:The VIP rooms provide you with professional services,such as various types of TCM Therapy and featured massage of Chinese,Korean,Japanese,European and A-merican style,which make you feel relaxed and enjoyable.
Example 5:
源文:擁有各式客房171間,任由閣下隨心選擇,細(xì)致中見華麗,純凈更顯高貴,一份寧靜,一份舒心,歸入品位生活;行政樓層完善配套設(shè)施,讓酒店成為您家外之家,遠(yuǎn)行中的辦公室。《溫泉國際酒店》
譯文:As many as 171 various guestrooms can offer you adequate choices.Pageantry and Purity can be seen from its characteristics which makes it nobler.The tranquility and comfort reflect the taste of life;the perfect complete facilities on executive floor make the hotel your home and office.
源文中的“細(xì)致中見華麗,純凈更顯高貴”就是典型的華麗詞藻代表。源文想要表達(dá)的只是房間的裝修優(yōu)雅別致,然而機械的逐字翻譯卻無法讓讀者體會到其中的優(yōu)美,只能體味到文字的拗口,可修改如下:
The hotel has 171 gracefully decorated rooms which can offer you adequate choices,with a tranquil and comfortable environment that reflects your taste of life.The perfect facilities on the executive floor make the hotel become your another home and office.
有時由于譯者對源文信息理解不當(dāng),使得源文與譯文互相矛盾,甚至有可能會讓外國讀者感受到惡意的信息欺詐。
Example 6:
源文:酒店擁有準(zhǔn)總統(tǒng)套房,豪華套房,標(biāo)準(zhǔn)房共149間,多功能會議中心,大中小會議室3間,精品商場,桑拿按摩健康中心等配套服務(wù)項目,令賓客倍感方便,舒適,安全。賓館擁有風(fēng)格各異的餐廳,酒吧,宴會廳,總餐位達(dá)1000余個?!秳P悅大酒店》
譯文:the facilitates include:149 standard rooms,including president suites and luxury suites,multi- purpose conference halls,which includes three conference halls respectively in large,medium and small size,dinning facilities in different styles,which can hold over 1,00 guests in the hotel bars,ballrooms,boutiques,sauna and massage rooms and other heath centers.
依據(jù)譯文,酒店擁有149間標(biāo)準(zhǔn)房,其中總統(tǒng)套房和豪華套房均屬于標(biāo)準(zhǔn)房,明顯與源文不一致;此外,譯文結(jié)構(gòu)不妥且包含一些語言錯誤。可改為:
The hotel has a total number of 149 guest rooms,including standard rooms,deluxe suites and presidential suites,and three multi- purpose conference rooms in large,medium and small size respectively.Other facilities available,such as boutiques,sauna and massage health center,make you feel convenient and comfortable.The hotel has various restaurants,bars and dinning halls in different styles,which can hold more than 1,000 guests at the same time.
(2)社交語用失誤導(dǎo)致的翻譯失誤
社交語用失誤是由于會話人不能在不同的社交場合,根據(jù)不同文化背景的語言交際者的語言習(xí)慣和思維方式差異等得體地使用語言而引起的。
中華民族的思維方式呈圓形,以直覺體驗為工具,強調(diào)整體性;重綜合、歸納、暗示及含蓄。但西方民族的思維方式呈線形,論述問題時往往直奔主題,不拐彎抹角。漢語文本的修飾文字在英語中通常被認(rèn)為是毫無意義的冗余文字。
Example 7:
源文:咸寧北靠武漢,南依岳陽,東指九江,西望江漢平原,107國道、京廣線南北貫穿而過,長江水道邊緣環(huán)繞,奇山異水,人文景觀點綴其中。近年經(jīng)濟事業(yè)蓬勃發(fā)展,旅游業(yè)發(fā)展迅猛?!蛾柟饩频辍?/p>
譯文:Xian Ning lies to the south of Wu Han and Nord of Yue Yang,It is on the west of Jiu Jiang River and on the east of Jiang Han Plain,National Road 107 and Jing Guang Railway go through it from North to south.It is held by branches of chang jiang Riverand decorated by many surrounded mountains.mystry rivers and interesting view spot,Its economy has been developed rapidly these years,especially its tourism.…在英語國家,對城市的地理、交通、旅游和經(jīng)濟的介紹通常出現(xiàn)在旅游文本而很少出現(xiàn)在酒店簡介上(顧湘芬,2008:112)。此外,這段翻譯繁雜啰嗦,還包含了許多大小寫錯誤、標(biāo)點符號、拼寫和語法錯誤。讀者也不太可能有耐心讀完這段冗長乏味、錯誤百出的酒店簡介。建議在翻譯時將上述有關(guān)咸寧市的簡介全部省略。
Example 8:
源文:我們是為淑女和紳士服務(wù)的淑女和紳士?!秳P悅大酒店》
譯文:We are fair maidens and gentlemen serving fair maidens and gentlemen.
以上譯文是一個典型的中國式“我們的文化”,體現(xiàn)酒店員工的集體意識和主人翁意識;而在酒店翻譯中,符合服務(wù)業(yè)的行業(yè)要求,突出客人的尊貴地位十分重要。且此譯文的措辭并不貼切,因為“fair maidens”不等于“淑女”,“maiden”是一個古語詞,指未婚的年輕女人;建議改譯為:You will get the most considerate service,our distinguished guests.
上文分析了酒店簡介英譯材料中方方面面的問題,對譯者而言,尤為重要的就是在翻譯時如何減少和避免這些問題。根據(jù)目的論,使用何種翻譯策略關(guān)鍵由譯文的預(yù)期目的來決定。酒店簡介意在向海外游客準(zhǔn)確地提供有關(guān)酒店的信息并說服他們?nèi)胱【频?以下翻譯策略將有助于此類文本預(yù)期功能的實現(xiàn)。
由于受漢語表達(dá)習(xí)慣的影響,酒店簡介慣用空洞的描述性套話,特別是使用四字短語、鋪陳排比等方式增強其呼喚功能,而英語酒店簡介大多簡潔明了,展現(xiàn)個性特色。因此,為了更好地實現(xiàn)譯文的預(yù)期功能和交際目的,譯者應(yīng)當(dāng)突出信息功能,刪繁就簡以符合英文行文習(xí)慣。
Example 9:
源文:“一切從客人角度出發(fā),讓顧客滿意、讓顧客高興、讓顧客驚喜”是捷臣匯東酒店的服務(wù)宗旨,滿足并超越顧客的期望是我們的使命。捷臣人將以飽滿的熱情投入服務(wù)工作、在每一次對客交往中體現(xiàn)對您的尊重與禮遇?!督莩紖R東酒店》
譯文:The hotel aims at the tenet“offering you everything,giving you satisfaction,delight and surprise”to satisfy and surpass the customer’s expectation.We will take effort to provide services with high appraisal and appreciation from guests.
源文一定程度上是出于漢語行文的需要,并無太大的實際意義。翻譯這類套話時要尤其謹(jǐn)慎,以免由于語言的過度夸張和渲染給外國讀者帶來負(fù)面反應(yīng)。建議譯文如下:
All the staff in Jackson Oriental Hotel offers you the best service with high enthusiasm,and gives you delight and satisfaction.
“‘活力老人’是目前日間托管機構(gòu)的主要群體,但對家庭、社會來說,更需要解決的可能是對失能、半失能老人的照護(hù),但在這些業(yè)務(wù)的開展上,社區(qū)養(yǎng)老中心每走一步,都像摸著石頭過河,困難很多?!睆堈衩勒f。
大多數(shù)的店簡介都是直接按照原文的句子語序翻譯成“對應(yīng)的英文”。不同的文化背景、思維方式、表達(dá)習(xí)慣等使中西方在行文結(jié)構(gòu)上存在著很大差異 (莫紅利,2009:102)。“中國人的思維方式是綜合性和歸納性的思維,往往重心和總結(jié)性話語放在后面,而英語讀者的思維則是分析性的,反映在文章的行文方式上就是先點明中心,在進(jìn)行具體敘述?!?繆肖強et al,2009:95)因此為了讓譯文被英文讀者接受,有時需調(diào)整句子或篇章的語序來重組信息。
Example 10:
源文:捷臣匯東酒店是按國際四星級標(biāo)準(zhǔn)興建的豪華商務(wù)酒店,坐落于湖北咸寧溫泉繁華的商業(yè)中心,緊鄰溫泉長途汽車客運站,距京珠高速公路咸寧入口僅5分鐘車程,距享譽全國的“中華第一泉”僅3分鐘的車程,居于本市各個景點的中心位置,交通十分便利。
譯文:Jackson Oriental Hotel is a deluxe business hotel in compliance with international four-star standard and located in the commercial center in Xianning-spring city,Hubei,neighboring the passenger transportation station,with only 5 minutes’drive from the access to Xianning on Beijing-Zhuhai Freeway,3 minutes’drive from“The Top Hot Spring in Central China”.The hotel is located in the center of landscape with convenient transportation.
譯文采用了歸納式的行文方式,最后才提到中心信息“交通位置十分便利”,違反了西方對外推介材料將中心信息置于句首,再用細(xì)節(jié)介紹它獨特的特點。擬改譯如下:
Located at the center of downtown in Wenquan District,Xianning City,Hubei Province,Jackson Oriental Hotel is a four- star business hotel with convenient transportation.It’s adjacent to Wenquan Coach Station,within 5 minutes’drive to the Xianning entrance of Beijing-Zhuhai Expressway;it is close to the tourist attractions in Xianning City and within only 3 minutes’drive to the well- known“No.1 Hotspring in Central China”.
中文酒店簡介中經(jīng)常出現(xiàn)夸張的言語和過多的溢美之詞,而西方的酒店簡介很少出現(xiàn)這種情況,它們強調(diào)事實而非華麗的語言。如果譯文嚴(yán)格按照漢語的行文方式,容易引起外國讀者的反感。因此,譯者應(yīng)當(dāng)順應(yīng)讀者心理,避虛譯實。
Example 11:
源文:奧蘭多酒店是按照國際綠色休閑產(chǎn)業(yè)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)打造的以特色餐飲為主打,包括休閑和住宿的綜合性酒店。
奧蘭多酒店建筑面積近一萬平方米,擁有宴會廳兩個,餐飲包房28個,高級客房59間和獨立休閑會所,可接待1000位賓客同時進(jìn)餐,是咸寧這個迅速崛起的中國中部休閑之都的最大酒店航母之一。
譯文:In accordance with the international standard of green leisure industry,Orlando is one of the biggest multifunction hotel in Xianning,a leisure capital city quckly raising in the central of China.
The hotel mainly engaged in special features restaurant,leisure activities and accommodation with 2 ballrooms,28 Vip dinning rooms,59 guest rooms and one leisure club.
原文中斜體的部分應(yīng)該避免直接翻譯成英文或?qū)⑵涓淖g。此外,譯文本身結(jié)構(gòu)混亂,意思含混且包含了一些拼寫錯誤。在英語國家里,對酒店的描述通常放在評論之前。因此,可對原文的結(jié)構(gòu)作相應(yīng)的改動,進(jìn)行信息重組:
Orlando Hotel is a big multi-functional hotel in Xianning,an emerging city in central China.With a construction area of nearly 10,000m2,it has two banquet halls and 28 dinning rooms which can hold 1000 guests to dine at the same time,and it is equipped with 59 guest rooms and an independent leisure club.
In accordance with international standard of green leisure industry,Orlando is a comprehensive hotel specialized in catering,with accommodation and recreational facilities.
總之,在酒店簡介漢英翻譯中,譯者可運用不同的翻譯策略使譯文符合譯出語語言習(xí)慣,實現(xiàn)源語文本與目的語文本的等效功能。
酒店簡介作為向旅客介紹酒店設(shè)施和服務(wù)的有效途徑,對提高酒店入住率有很大幫助。提高其英譯文本質(zhì)量需要各方面的共同努力:一方面,譯者必須具備中英文化意識,充分考慮讀者的期望,提高自身的語言能力、翻譯技巧和跨文化交際意識;另一方面,酒店當(dāng)局應(yīng)當(dāng)給予足夠的重視,意識到做好對外翻譯的重要性。本文嘗試性地提出一些翻譯策略,以期給該領(lǐng)域帶來一些啟示和改善。
H315.9
A
1006-5342(2011)10-0202-03
2011-08-18