高考書(shū)面表達(dá)“賺分”有道

謝　勇

“書(shū)面表達(dá)”在英語(yǔ)高考試卷中占25分 (北京卷占35分)，所占分值較大，因此做好這一題目對(duì)于考生取得理想的成績(jī)至關(guān)重要。近年來(lái)高考書(shū)面表達(dá)對(duì)于考生寫(xiě)作能力的要求逐步提高。一篇好的書(shū)面表達(dá)除了要求要點(diǎn)齊全、表達(dá)正確和語(yǔ)句通順外，還要求考生能“應(yīng)用較多的語(yǔ)法或較復(fù)雜的結(jié)構(gòu)”，“具備較強(qiáng)的語(yǔ)言運(yùn)用能力”。在高考書(shū)面表達(dá)中，假如“語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯有些許錯(cuò)誤，但為盡量使用較復(fù)雜的結(jié)構(gòu)或較高級(jí)的詞匯所致”，仍可得高分。那么考生怎樣才能在高考中奪得高分呢？筆者認(rèn)為除了審清要點(diǎn)、體裁和人稱以及書(shū)寫(xiě)規(guī)范等基本要求外，如果考生能夠在高考有限的時(shí)間內(nèi)從篇、句、詞三個(gè)方面稍動(dòng)腦筋，“賺分”還是有道的。

一、 篇

1.講究謀篇布局，使文章層次分明。綜觀近幾年的高考書(shū)面表達(dá)命題，盡管體裁多有變化，但主要還是三種基本文體——記敘文、應(yīng)用文和說(shuō)明文。記敘文就是把人物的經(jīng)歷、行為或發(fā)生的事情敘述出來(lái)。應(yīng)用文的寫(xiě)作應(yīng)特別注意其格式的規(guī)范和措詞技巧。說(shuō)明文是對(duì)事物形狀、性能、特點(diǎn)、成因等進(jìn)行的理解式表述的文章。無(wú)論是哪種體裁的文章都要講求謀篇布局，使文章層次分明。如寫(xiě)說(shuō)明文時(shí)可首先根據(jù)內(nèi)容把文章分成幾個(gè)段落，每段擬定一個(gè)主題句(topic sentence)，然后圍繞主題句展開(kāi)發(fā)揮，擴(kuò)展文章要點(diǎn)，再按一定的邏輯關(guān)系，用適當(dāng)?shù)倪^(guò)渡詞把寫(xiě)好的段落連成一篇完整的文章。如2008年浙江卷高考書(shū)面表達(dá)范文：

Working Individually or Working in a Team

There are basically two ways to get work done.One is to work individually.In this way, people can decide for themselves when to start work and how to do it.Whats more, they will be able to learn how to solve problems on their own.

People may also choose to work in a team, where they can learn from each other and help each other.Besides, they may work out better ways to get work done by discussion.

Personally, I prefer to work in a team,which offers me a chance to learn how to get along with others and to share my experiences with them.As the work can be divided among several people, it can be done efficiently.Teamwork is always important.

2.根據(jù)行文邏輯進(jìn)行信息重組或調(diào)整表達(dá)順序。一般情況下，材料中要點(diǎn)順序即是行文順序。但在寫(xiě)作時(shí)切勿拘泥于材料中要點(diǎn)順序。在寫(xiě)作前應(yīng)根據(jù)邏輯關(guān)系對(duì)材料要點(diǎn)進(jìn)行組合、調(diào)整，才能充分體現(xiàn)作者不拘泥于材料的靈活思維。

例如：(NMET2001春)寫(xiě)信邀請(qǐng)美國(guó)朋友給學(xué)生做一次講座。信的主要內(nèi)容包括：1.講座目的：使學(xué)生對(duì)美國(guó)電影有所了解；2.講座內(nèi)容：簡(jiǎn)要介紹美國(guó)電影（制片）業(yè)的歷史。

Im writing to ask you to come and give a talk on the history of American films and film making industry in order to help students understand how the industry has developed into big business as it is today…

分析：這幾句幾乎看不出原要點(diǎn)的影子，文章經(jīng)過(guò)材料重組之后，給人的感覺(jué)是文章思路非常清晰，層次分明，邏輯性強(qiáng)，體現(xiàn)了作者的寫(xiě)作功底。

再如：（2007年江蘇卷）寫(xiě)的是有關(guān)全國(guó)億萬(wàn)學(xué)生陽(yáng)光體育活動(dòng)，其中有這樣的要點(diǎn)“教育部倡導(dǎo)學(xué)生每天鍛煉一小時(shí)，健康工作五十年，幸福生活一輩子”。不少學(xué)生只是將這三層意義運(yùn)用并列句進(jìn)行機(jī)械地闡述，沒(méi)有認(rèn)真分析其中的邏輯關(guān)系，因此表達(dá)很難出彩。試體味下列句子表達(dá)的效果：

The Ministry of Education calls on students to exercise for an hour every day, in the hope that they will have good health to work fifty years and enjoy the whole life.

分析：很顯然這句話表達(dá)很富邏輯性，考生用in the hope that 這一結(jié)構(gòu)有機(jī)地將三層意義巧妙地結(jié)合在一起。這說(shuō)明考生在審題時(shí)真正動(dòng)了腦筋，而不是隨意寫(xiě)就，同時(shí)也體現(xiàn)了考生扎實(shí)的語(yǔ)言基本功。

3.在合情合理、合乎規(guī)范、力所能及且不違背文章原意的前提下適當(dāng)增添信息，是令自己的文章與他人的文章相區(qū)別的重要方法。如：（NMET2003）你的英國(guó)筆友來(lái)信請(qǐng)你在學(xué)校附近為他找一套住房，并寫(xiě)信告知住房的情況。我們可以在文章的結(jié)尾用“Do you think youd like it? If not, I can try and find another place for you.Just let me know.”一句話。文字提示和示意圖上并沒(méi)有相關(guān)的信息。如果你不寫(xiě)它，自然不會(huì)失分。但在要點(diǎn)的基礎(chǔ)上稍加發(fā)揮立即收題，語(yǔ)句平實(shí)樸素，卻又合情合理，它的存在無(wú)疑提升了整篇文章的檔次。再如，在描寫(xiě)新舊對(duì)比時(shí)，中間可用：“But now things are quite different.”“But things are not what they used to be.”作為過(guò)渡句，這樣，就顯得妥帖自然。當(dāng)然，信息的添加切忌漫無(wú)邊際，旁逸斜出；或者一味追求標(biāo)新立異。這樣，不僅勞而無(wú)功，還會(huì)憑空多出許多錯(cuò)誤的機(jī)會(huì)。

二、 句

1.句子表達(dá)簡(jiǎn)潔明了，做到言簡(jiǎn)意賅。做書(shū)面表達(dá)時(shí)不要為求詞數(shù)的達(dá)標(biāo)而一味堆砌。殊不知，有時(shí)刪減一詞，反而使句子煥發(fā)生機(jī)。如：

Now it is time to tell you everything that has happened.(the whole story)

He hurriedly went home to get his schoolbag.(for)

Fortunately, he was still alive, though he was seriously injured.(去掉he was)

It was our brave Ah Fu that pulled my little sister to the bank.(safety)

He is a boy who is sixteen years old.［of 16 (years old)］

2.句子描寫(xiě)細(xì)節(jié)化，切勿泛泛而談。句子表達(dá)簡(jiǎn)潔明了，并不是不需要細(xì)節(jié)描寫(xiě)。如果一篇書(shū)面表達(dá)能夠做到要點(diǎn)齊全、表達(dá)正確和語(yǔ)句連貫，再輔之以恰當(dāng)且得體的細(xì)節(jié)描寫(xiě)，不僅能使文章內(nèi)容飽滿，還能為文章表達(dá)增色。如：

(1) A:Mrs Smith will give us a report.

B1:Mrs Smith will give us a report, which I think will have a good influence on our studies.

B2:Mrs Smith will give us a report.Personally, I think itll be of great value to our studies.

分析：原句（A句）來(lái)自口頭通知，句子簡(jiǎn)單而平淡。修改后的句子（B1、B2）語(yǔ)句充實(shí)，更有說(shuō)服力；同時(shí)也有效地避免了學(xué)生寫(xiě)“口頭通知”時(shí)容易出現(xiàn)詞數(shù)不夠的情況。

(2) A:Where the playground used to be now stands a library.

B:Where the playground used to be now stands another new building—our library，in which we students can freely float in the sea of knowledge.

分析：原句（A句）過(guò)于簡(jiǎn)單，不容易給讀者留下深刻印象。B句通過(guò)巧妙地使用同位語(yǔ)another new building—our library和定語(yǔ)從句，使句子更加形象生動(dòng)，并進(jìn)一步說(shuō)明了圖書(shū)館的功能。

(3) A:I failed in the maths exam again.

B1:Much to my disappointment, I failed in the maths exam again.(What disappointed me most was that I failed in the maths exam again.)

B2:What a pity I failed in the maths exam again.

分析：原句（A句）只是對(duì)事實(shí)簡(jiǎn)單而平淡的陳述；B句在A句的基礎(chǔ)上加入了表白情感的詞語(yǔ)，讀者不僅了解了事實(shí)，還能感受到作者沮喪無(wú)奈的心情。

總之，對(duì)高考書(shū)面表達(dá)的細(xì)節(jié)描寫(xiě)考生應(yīng)有所取舍，不能面面俱到，考生應(yīng)根據(jù)自己的語(yǔ)言水平和書(shū)面表達(dá)的具體要求，揚(yáng)長(zhǎng)避短，恰當(dāng)發(fā)揮。

3.句式類型多樣化，凸顯語(yǔ)言功底。高考書(shū)面表達(dá)提倡“文章流暢，語(yǔ)言豐富、得體”。比較注重應(yīng)用詞匯和語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)的數(shù)量和準(zhǔn)確性。這就要求我們應(yīng)該嘗試一些比較復(fù)雜的語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和不同的詞匯，以使自己的書(shū)面表達(dá)上一個(gè)檔次。試比較以下句子：

(1) A:The area of the flat is 25 square metres.It has a bedroom, a bathroom and a kitchen.

B:Its a small flat of 25 square metres, with a bedroom, a bathroom and a kitchen.

(2) A:We were very glad to see the crops and vegetables growing well.

B:How glad we were to see the crops and vegetables growing well!

(3) A:Charging entrance fees will cause some people not to get in.

B:No doubt charging entrance fees will keep some people away.

(4) A:Listening has a positive effect on us students friendship.

B:When it comes to students, it is listening that has a positive effect on our friendship.

(5) A:You must come here.

B:Do come!

(6) A:I think one and a half hours may be 〆nough.

B:Do you think one and a half hours will be 〆nough?

通過(guò)以上句子對(duì)比不難看出，A類句子句式結(jié)構(gòu)稍顯單一、呆板，而B(niǎo)類句子給人的感覺(jué)是文章句式結(jié)構(gòu)多樣、語(yǔ)言活潑，體現(xiàn)了考生的語(yǔ)言功底和駕馭語(yǔ)言的能力。

三、 詞

1.詞匯和短語(yǔ)的選擇不落俗套。俗話說(shuō)，見(jiàn)微知著，一葉知秋。詞匯和短語(yǔ)的選擇處處體現(xiàn)出作者的詞匯能力和整體英語(yǔ)水平。如：表達(dá)“我們唱歌跳舞玩得很愉快”這一句時(shí)。We had great fun singing and dancing.當(dāng)然比We sang and danced and had a good time.更容易給閱卷老師留下深刻印象。因此在有把握的前提下，盡量使用高級(jí)的詞匯和短語(yǔ)，不要人云亦云，這有助于你獲得高分。歷年高考滿分作文，都得益于能將高級(jí)詞匯和短語(yǔ)應(yīng)用得貼切自然，毫不造作。請(qǐng)?bào)w會(huì)下面畫(huà)線部分被括號(hào)中的高級(jí)詞匯和短語(yǔ)被替代的效果：

(1) 對(duì)你的幫助我非常感激。

We are very thankful to you for your help.(much obliged)

(2) 你打電話時(shí)如果我不在，可留個(gè)口信。

If Im out when you phone, leave a message.(not available)

(3) 昨天專家就這個(gè)問(wèn)題和我們參加了討論。

Yesterday the expert joined in our discussion ゛bout this problem.(participated in)

(4) 這是一項(xiàng)艱巨的任務(wù)。

This is a difficult task.(challenging / demanding)

(5) 教師節(jié)就要來(lái)臨了。

Teachers Day is coming.(drawing on)

此外，有時(shí)一篇書(shū)面表達(dá)中多次出現(xiàn)同一個(gè)詞，這時(shí)稍稍變換一個(gè)表達(dá)方式尤為重要，因?yàn)樨S富的表達(dá)方式可以反映出學(xué)生英語(yǔ)運(yùn)用能力和閱讀量的多少。如：表達(dá)“喜歡”，在不同的句子里可以用不同的詞或短語(yǔ)，不要給閱卷老師有這種印象，這個(gè)學(xué)生只會(huì)用“l(fā)ike, love”。仔細(xì)體會(huì)下面句子中表達(dá)“喜歡”的詞語(yǔ)的運(yùn)用效果。

(1) I dont care for baseball.

(2) She is fond of playing the piano.