幽默樂翻天

張曉英

(1)

Give Up Your Seat to a Lady

Little Johnny says, “Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.”

“Youve done the right thing,” says Mommy.

“But Mommy, I was sitting on Daddys lap.”

給女士讓座

小強(qiáng)尼說：“媽媽，今天早上和爸爸在公車上時，他叫我讓座給一位女士?！?

媽媽說：“你做得很對呀。”

“但是，媽媽，我是坐在爸爸膝蓋上的?！?/p>

(2)

A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I cant let him get away. So they got married immediately.

The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. “What happened?” she asked. “You used to walk straight before we were married.”

“Oh, honey,” he replied, “I cant drink that much every day.”

一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹，便要娶她為妻。她注意到他走路是直著走，而不是橫著走。哇！她想，這只雄蟹可真特別，我可不能讓他跑了。因此他們立刻結(jié)婚了。

第二天，她又發(fā)現(xiàn)她的新郎像其他蟹一樣橫著走路了。她深感不安?！澳阍趺戳耍俊彼龁?，“我們結(jié)婚前你可是直著走路的?！?

“哦，寶貝，”他回答說，“我不可能每天都喝那么多。”

(3)

Theres a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, “Herman, be careful!I just heard on the radio that there was a madam driving the wrong way on Route 280！”

Herman says， “I know, but there isnt just one, there are hundreds!”

一位高齡老人開著車在高速公路上駕車時，接到了妻子打來的電話，妻子焦急地告訴他說，“赫爾曼，小心！我剛從電臺上聽到報道說，在280號公路上有一個瘋子正在開車逆行！”

赫爾曼說，“我知道，可是不是一個，而是成百上千個！”

(4)

“Excuse me, but the seat youve taken is mine.”

“Yours? Can you prove it?”

“Yes, I put a cup of ice cream on it.”

“請原諒,你占了我的位置.”

“你的位置?你能證明這點嗎?”

“能,我在位置上放了杯冰淇淋?！?