小幽默兩則

雨　凡

The Worlds Greatest Swordsman

At an exhibition of the worlds best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the worlds greatest swordsman.

His blade came down in a mighty arc—but the insect continued on its way!The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile.

“Why are you so happy?” someone yelled. “You missed!”

“Ah,” replied the swordsman, “you werent watching very carefully. The fly lives, yes—but he will never be a father.”

世界上最偉大的擊劍手

在一場世界最佳擊劍手表演中，排名第三的擊劍手上場了。一只蒼蠅放了出來，劍劃了一個弧，他將蒼蠅劈成了兩半。觀眾歡呼起來。緊接著排名第二的人將一只蒼蠅切成了四半。現(xiàn)場一陣沉默，人們期盼著世界上最偉大的擊劍手出場。

他的劍鋒以一個巨大的弧線劃了下來——然而那只昆蟲還在繼續(xù)飛行!觀眾被驚呆了。最偉大的擊劍手完全錯過了他的目標，然而他還在微笑著。

“你為什么這么高興？”有人嚷道，“你沒擊中!”

“啊，”劍手答道，“你剛才沒有很仔細地看。蒼蠅還活著，是的——但他永遠也做不成爸爸了?！?

A Mistake

An American, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peter explained that there had been a mistake. “Give me $500 each,” he said, “and Ill return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened.”

“Done!”said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.

“Where are the others?” asked a medic.

“Last I knew,” said the American, “the Scot was haggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay.”

搞錯了

一位美國人，一位蘇格蘭人和一位加拿大人在一場車禍中喪生。他們到達天堂的門口。在那里，醉醺醺的圣彼德解釋說是搞錯了。“每人給我五百美元，”他說，“我將把你們送回人間，就像什么都沒有發(fā)生過一樣?！?

“成交!”美國人說。立刻，他發(fā)現(xiàn)自己毫不損傷地站在現(xiàn)場附近。

“其他人在哪兒？”一名醫(yī)生問道。

“我離開之前，”那名美國人說，“我看見蘇格蘭人正在砍價，而那名加拿大人正在分辯說應(yīng)該由他的政府來出這筆錢。”