Signs You Need to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence情商需要提高的跡象

阿特·馬爾克曼/文　羅達(dá)/譯

If these things are happening， its a sign your emotional intelligence needs some work.

如果發(fā)生以下情況，就表明你的情商需要提高。

Emotional intelligence involves knowledge and skills around understanding and managing the motivations and emotional responses of other people. While it isnt always necessary to have emotional intelligence to succeed （particularly as a leader）， in the absence of these skills， you tend to make your job harder.

情商涉及理解和應(yīng)對(duì)他人動(dòng)機(jī)與情緒反應(yīng)的知識(shí)和技能。雖然成功不一定需要情商（特別是對(duì)領(lǐng)導(dǎo)而言），但缺乏情商技能往往會(huì)增加工作的難度。

When you lack emotional intelligence， other people often do not want to work with you， to engage with your projects， or to go the extra mile to help you succeed. People may go along with you reluctantly because of the authority of your position， but that does not mean that those people can be counted on.

如果你缺乏情商，其他人常常不想和你共事，不想?yún)⑴c你的項(xiàng)目，也不想多費(fèi)精力助你成功。考慮到你職位的權(quán)威性，可能有人會(huì)勉強(qiáng)服從你，但那并不意味著這些人可靠。

You can improve your emotional intelligence skills. Indeed， programs like Human Dimensions of Organizations are designed to support this learning. Your first step， though， is to recognize that you need some additional training. Here are three warning signs that your emotional intelligence needs work：

情商技能是可以提高的。事實(shí)上，像“組織中的人性維度”之類(lèi)的培訓(xùn)項(xiàng)目正是為提高情商而設(shè)。不過(guò)，首先你得認(rèn)識(shí)到自己需要一些額外的情商培訓(xùn)。下文介紹情商需要提高的三個(gè)預(yù)警跡象。

Unexpected reactions

他人反應(yīng)出乎意料

A key element of emotional intelligence is the ability to read how people are feeling about a situation and to use that to make educated guesses1 about their goals and motivations. When you lack this sensitivity， you often do and say things that create negative reactions in others including frustration， anger， and annoyance.

情商的一個(gè)關(guān)鍵要素是這樣一種能力：能讀懂他人對(duì)某一情境的感受，并據(jù)此推測(cè)出他們的目標(biāo)和動(dòng)機(jī)。如果你缺少這種敏感性，你的所說(shuō)所為往往會(huì)引起他人的負(fù)面反應(yīng)，比如沮喪、憤怒和厭煩。

You cant please everybody all the time， and trying to do so will likely make your work life harder. But， you should strive to be aware of who is likely to be upset about actions you have taken so that you can prepare them for outcomes they wont like—or at least be ready for their complaints.

你不可能每時(shí)每刻都取悅所有人，試圖這樣做可能會(huì)讓你的工作更難進(jìn)行。但是，你應(yīng)該盡力去了解誰(shuí)可能對(duì)你采取的行動(dòng)感到不滿，這樣你就可以提前溝通，讓他們對(duì)不喜歡的結(jié)果有所準(zhǔn)備，或者你至少要準(zhǔn)備好應(yīng)對(duì)他們的抱怨。

When you find consistently that you get negative reactions from people around you that you did not anticipate， that is a good sign that you are not being sensitive to their desires and needs. Even if you just come to expect negative reactions from other people without knowing why they occur， that suggests that you would benefit from emotional intelligence training.

當(dāng)你發(fā)現(xiàn)周?chē)娜丝偸菍?duì)你作出你意料之外的負(fù)面反應(yīng)，這就是一個(gè)明顯的跡象，表明你不善于了解他們的愿望和需求。即使你開(kāi)始預(yù)料到別人會(huì)有負(fù)面反應(yīng)，但又不知為何如此，那也說(shuō)明你會(huì)從情商培訓(xùn)中獲益。

Being passed over

很難得到提拔

If you have ambitions to move into a leadership role at work， then you aim to put yourself in line for2 promotions. Of course， youre not the only one looking for these roles. Many of your colleagues are probably also interested in moving into leadership positions. In addition， there are often people from outside your organization who may also want that responsibility. That means there are many more people interested in leadership roles than there are roles to be filled.

如果你有志在工作中擔(dān)任領(lǐng)導(dǎo)，那么你就要以成為升職候選人為目標(biāo)。當(dāng)然，想當(dāng)領(lǐng)導(dǎo)的不止你一個(gè)。你的許多同事很可能也對(duì)領(lǐng)導(dǎo)職位有興趣。另外，渴望擔(dān)任領(lǐng)導(dǎo)一職的往往還有組織以外的人。這意味著對(duì)領(lǐng)導(dǎo)職位感興趣的人要比需要填補(bǔ)的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)空位多得多。

To ascend into a leadership role， you have to be prepared for some disappointment. There will be times when you desperately want a particular pos-ition and it goes to someone else. Talk to any leader， and you are likely to find that they can tell you about several roles they were interested in that they did not get.

要晉升到領(lǐng)導(dǎo)層，你必須做好失望的準(zhǔn)備。很多時(shí)候，你夢(mèng)寐以求的職位最后會(huì)落入另一個(gè)人囊中。跟任何一個(gè)領(lǐng)導(dǎo)交談，你都可能會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)，他們可以講出若干個(gè)他們?cè)?jīng)感興趣但沒(méi)有得到的職位。

That said， if you are consistently passed over for promotions， there are likely to be some skills that the people filling those positions believe you lack. It can be valuable to get some mentoring from someone you trust to talk frankly about the gaps in your know-ledge and skills. You may not always be told directly that your gap is in emotional intelligence. Instead， you may get feedback that people are hesitant to work with you， that they have concerns about how well you get along with others， or that they wonder how you will motiv-ate your team. Those are all limitations that training in emotional intelligence can help to fix.

即便如此，如果你一直不受提拔，很可能是負(fù)責(zé)選人的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)認(rèn)為你不具備某些技能。找你信任的人坦誠(chéng)地聊一聊你在知識(shí)和技能上的不足，獲取一些指導(dǎo)，這樣可能大有裨益。別人可能并不總是會(huì)直接指出你的不足在于情商，而是可能反饋說(shuō)大家不太情愿與你共事，表示擔(dān)心你的人際交往狀況，或者想知道你會(huì)如何激勵(lì)隊(duì)伍。這些方面的不足都可以通過(guò)情商培訓(xùn)得到彌補(bǔ)。

Denial of requests

請(qǐng)求遭拒

To get things done in any organization， you need resources to make that happen. You might require help from other people， money， or time. Unless youre at the top of the food chain， you will need agreement from other people to provide those resources so that you can carry out a project.

在任何組織中，想要做成事，你都需要資源。你可能需要?jiǎng)e人的幫助，要么是資金，要么是時(shí)間。除非處于食物鏈的頂端，否則你就需要?jiǎng)e人同意向你提供這些資源，這樣你才能開(kāi)展項(xiàng)目。

A good project proposal requires a lot of emotional intelligence skills. You have to understand the goals of other people in the organization and demonstrate how your project will help them to achieve those goals. You must cultivate support for projects among key stakeholders. You have to engage with other people who will have to help on the project to find things they care about that would lead them to want to be involved. You need to understand when other people find a project risky and respond to their concerns.

一個(gè)好的項(xiàng)目提案需要大量情商技能。你必須了解組織中其他人的目標(biāo)，然后闡明你的項(xiàng)目將如何幫助他們實(shí)現(xiàn)目標(biāo)。你必須爭(zhēng)取關(guān)鍵利益相關(guān)者對(duì)項(xiàng)目的支持。你必須與其他日后不得不在項(xiàng)目中提供幫助的人打好交道，找到他們關(guān)切的利益點(diǎn)，從而讓他們主動(dòng)想要參與。當(dāng)其他人發(fā)覺(jué)項(xiàng)目有風(fēng)險(xiǎn)時(shí)，你需要了解情況，并對(duì)他們的擔(dān)憂作出回應(yīng)。

Falling short in any of these areas is likely to lead people to deny your requests to support a particular project. In the absence of emotional intelligence， you will often double-down on your project by repeating how important it is and why it is critical to move forward with it. But， the merits of a particular project are always subject to interpret-ation， and so if you dont have motivated supporters for a project， they can often find reasons why they should not allow it to move forward.

如果你在以上任何一個(gè)方面做得不夠，就可能導(dǎo)致其他人拒絕你對(duì)支持某一項(xiàng)目的請(qǐng)求。如果缺乏情商，你就會(huì)經(jīng)常執(zhí)著于反復(fù)說(shuō)明項(xiàng)目有多重要以及推進(jìn)項(xiàng)目為何如此關(guān)鍵。但是，一個(gè)項(xiàng)目是否有吸引力往往因人而異，所以，如果你的項(xiàng)目沒(méi)有積極的支持者，反對(duì)者通常能找到不讓項(xiàng)目推進(jìn)的理由。

As with getting a promotion， you cant expect every project you propose to get a green light. But， when you find that you are consistently rebuffed in your efforts to try something new， thats a good sign that you have not created allies. Building better emotional intelligence skills is likely to make you more likely to craft and socialize proposals that will engage people in a position to3 move it forward.

就像爭(zhēng)取升職的情況一樣，你不可能指望你提出的每一個(gè)項(xiàng)目都能獲準(zhǔn)通過(guò)。但是，當(dāng)你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己辛苦做的新項(xiàng)目提案總是遭到否決，這就顯然說(shuō)明你沒(méi)有爭(zhēng)取到同盟。強(qiáng)化情商技能會(huì)讓你精心制作和推廣的提案更能吸引有能力推動(dòng)提案落實(shí)的人參與進(jìn)來(lái)。

（譯者為“《英語(yǔ)世界》杯”翻譯大賽獲獎(jiǎng)?wù)撸?/p>

1 educated guess有根據(jù)的推測(cè)。

2 be in line for有可能獲得某物。

3 be in a position to有實(shí)力。