Stress Is Contagious in Relationships情感焦慮會(huì)傳染

羅西·施勞特　崔佳艷/譯

With the flurry of shopping， spending money and traveling to see family， stress can feel inevitable during the holidays.

一到放假，各種購物消費(fèi)、探親旅行應(yīng)接不暇，難免讓人感到焦慮。

You might already know stress can affect your own health， but what you may not realize is that your stress—and how you manage it—is catching. Your stress can spread around， particularly to your loved ones.

焦慮情緒會(huì)影響健康，這點(diǎn)你或許早有了解，但你可能沒覺察到，自己的焦慮及應(yīng)對(duì)方法是具有“傳染力”的。它會(huì)向四周擴(kuò)散，尤其是對(duì)你的愛人。

As a social-health psychologist， I have developed a model on how partners and their stress influence each others psychological and biological health. Through that and my other research， Ive learned that the quality of intimate relationships is crucial to peoples health.

作為社會(huì)健康心理學(xué)者，我建立了一套模型來研究伴侶間焦慮對(duì)彼此身心健康的影響。基于這一模型和本人的其他研究，我了解到親密關(guān)系的質(zhì)量對(duì)健康有著極其重要的影響。

Heres just a sample： Relationship stress can alter the immune， endocrine and cardiovascular systems. A study of newlyweds found levels of stress hormones were higher when couples were hostile during a conflict—that is， when they were critical， sarcastic， spoke with an unpleasant tone and used aggravating facial expressions， like eyerolls.

舉個(gè)例子：情感焦慮會(huì)改變?nèi)梭w免疫系統(tǒng)、內(nèi)分泌系統(tǒng)和心血管系統(tǒng)。一項(xiàng)針對(duì)新婚夫婦的研究顯示，夫妻倆吵架較勁時(shí)，相互間的指責(zé)、嘲諷、語氣不善、擺臉色（如翻白眼）會(huì)使得他們體內(nèi)的應(yīng)激激素水平升高。

Likewise， in another study， people in hostile relationships had slower wound healing， higher inflammation， higher blood pressure and greater heart rate changes during conflict. Middle-aged and older men had higher blood pressure at times when their wives reported greater stress. And partners who felt they werent being cared-for or understood had poorer well-being and higher mortality rates 10 years later when compared with those who felt more cared-for and appreciated by their partners.

另一項(xiàng)研究同樣證實(shí)，感情不睦的雙方在發(fā)生沖突期間，傷口愈合較慢，炎癥加重，血壓升高，心率波動(dòng)也會(huì)增大。中老年男性會(huì)因其妻子焦慮情緒表現(xiàn)加重，而血壓升高。結(jié)婚十年后，與那些受到伴侶關(guān)心和贊賞的人相比，自感缺少伴侶關(guān)愛和理解的人幸福感較低、死亡率較高。

Conflict and cortisol

沖突和皮質(zhì)醇

Cortisol is a hormone that plays a key role in the bodys stress response. Cortisol has a diurnal rhythm， so its levels are usually highest soon after waking and then gradually decline during the day. But chronic stress can lead to unhealthy cortisol patterns， such as low cortisol levels upon waking or cortisol not tapering off much by the end of the day. These patterns are associated with an increase in disease development and mortality risks.

皮質(zhì)醇這種激素在人體應(yīng)激反應(yīng)中發(fā)揮著重要作用。它具有晝夜節(jié)律，通常在早晨睡醒后不久達(dá)到峰值，白天逐漸下降。但長(zhǎng)期焦慮會(huì)打亂健康的皮質(zhì)醇節(jié)律，比如造成皮質(zhì)醇在晨起時(shí)水平低，或入睡時(shí)水平極少回落。節(jié)律紊亂會(huì)導(dǎo)致生病、增加死亡風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。

My colleagues and I found that conflict altered cortisol levels of couples on the day they had a dispute; people with stressed partners who used negative behaviors during the conflict had higher cortisol levels even four hours after the conflict ended.

根據(jù)我和同事的研究，夫妻爭(zhēng)吵當(dāng)天，皮質(zhì)醇水平會(huì)因沖突的產(chǎn)生而改變；如果一個(gè)人的伴侶容易焦慮并且在沖突中做出消極行為，那么即使沖突結(jié)束四小時(shí)后，他/她的皮質(zhì)醇水平仍會(huì)居高不下。

These findings suggest that arguing with a partner who is already stressed could have lasting biological health effects for ourselves.

這些發(fā)現(xiàn)表明，與已經(jīng)焦慮的伴侶發(fā)生爭(zhēng)執(zhí)可能會(huì)對(duì)我們的生理健康產(chǎn)生持久的不良影響。

Managing stress

緩解焦慮

Here are three ways you can reduce the stress in your relationship， during and after the holidays.

以下三種方法可以幫助緩解假期或假后的情感焦慮。

First， talk to and validate each other. Tell your partner you understand their feelings. Talk about them before they escalate. Sometimes partners hide problems to protect each other， but this can actually make things worse. Share your feelings， and when your partner shares in return， dont interrupt. Remember， feeling cared-for and understood by a partner is good for your emotional well-being and promotes healthier cortisol patterns， so being there for each other and listening to each other can have good health effects for both you and your partner.

首先，與對(duì)方交談并彼此認(rèn)同。表達(dá)對(duì)伴侶情緒的理解。在事態(tài)升級(jí)前進(jìn)行溝通。有時(shí)伴侶們?yōu)榱吮Ｗo(hù)彼此而對(duì)問題避而不談，但這其實(shí)會(huì)使情況惡化。要表達(dá)自己的感受，當(dāng)另一半也向你傾訴時(shí)，不要打斷。要記住，伴侶的關(guān)心和理解可以促進(jìn)情緒健康及使皮質(zhì)醇節(jié)律更加有序，因此相互陪伴和彼此傾聽對(duì)你們雙方的健康都有好處。

Next， show your love. Hug each other， hold hands and be kind. This too lowers cortisol and can make you feel happier. One study found that a satisfying relationship can even help improve vaccination response.

其次，表達(dá)愛意。相互擁抱、牽手、彼此善待，這也會(huì)降低皮質(zhì)醇水平，增強(qiáng)愉悅感。有研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，一段幸福的感情甚至有助于減輕疫苗接種反應(yīng)。

Then remind yourself that youre part of a team. Brainstorm solutions， be each others cheerleaders and celebrate the wins together. Couples who unite to tackle stress are healthier and more satisfied with their relationships. Some examples： Make dinner or run errands when your partner is stressed; relax and reminisce together; or try a new restaurant， dance or exercise class together.

最后，要提醒自己，你們是一個(gè)團(tuán)隊(duì)。凡事要一起想辦法，互相加油打氣，分享成功的喜悅。能共同應(yīng)對(duì)焦慮的夫妻身體更健康，對(duì)婚姻也更滿意。舉幾個(gè)例子：當(dāng)伴侶感到焦慮時(shí)，你可以幫忙做飯或跑腿；一起放松，緬懷過往；一起去嘗試新餐廳、一起參加舞蹈課或健身課。

That said， its also true that sometimes these steps arent enough. Many couples will still need help managing stress and overcoming difficulties. Couples therapy helps partners learn to communicate and resolve conflicts effectively. Its critical to be proactive and seek help from someone who is trained to deal with ongoing relationship difficulties.

話雖如此，有時(shí)僅憑這些方法還是不夠。很多夫妻在應(yīng)對(duì)焦慮和克服困難方面仍會(huì)需要幫助。夫妻療法可以幫他們學(xué)會(huì)有效溝通并化解矛盾。積極主動(dòng)尋求專業(yè)人士的幫助來解決當(dāng)前的感情難題——這一點(diǎn)很重要。

So， tell your partner that youre there for them， preferably while youre hugging. Take each others stress seriously， and no more eyerolls. Its not so much the stress itself; its the way that both of you manage the stress together. Working as an open and honest team is the key ingredient to a healthy and happy relationship.

總之，告訴伴侶你會(huì)永遠(yuǎn)守護(hù)在他/她身邊，最好是選在你們擁抱的時(shí)候這么做。認(rèn)真對(duì)待彼此的焦慮，不再白眼相向。焦慮本身沒那么重要，重要的是你們?nèi)绾喂餐瑧?yīng)對(duì)焦慮。像一個(gè)開誠布公的合作團(tuán)隊(duì)那樣生活是婚姻健康幸福的關(guān)鍵。

（譯者為“《英語世界》杯”翻譯大賽獲獎(jiǎng)?wù)撸?/p>