突破寫作瓶頸，續(xù)寫精彩結尾

廣東 王 思

【問題導讀】

文章的開頭是閱卷老師最先入目的部分，然而，文章的結尾是給閱卷老師留下最深印象的部分，也是閱卷老師的打分點。精彩的結尾如同“畫龍點睛”，能夠呼應前文，升華主題，引發(fā)思考，讓人意猶未盡，同時還能給文章帶來高分。那么，在實際寫作中，我們該如何根據(jù)故事情節(jié)的發(fā)展，寫出合理又精彩的結尾呢？

【名師導學】

高考讀后續(xù)寫要求充滿正能量，倡導至真至善至美的價值觀。因此，故事的結局應該都是問題得到圓滿解決。當然，精彩的讀后續(xù)寫的結尾除了能揭示故事的結局外，還應該做到以下幾點：

1.在表現(xiàn)手法上，結尾應與前文的伏筆照應，使人覺得在情理之中；與前文形成對比，點明主旨，深化主題。如首尾呼應式結尾、反思式結尾等。

2.在塑造人物形象上，結尾應表現(xiàn)人的心理、性格、品質、經(jīng)歷、命運、能力等。如對話式結尾、反思式結尾等。

3.在故事情節(jié)上，結尾可以照應標題和開頭，使故事完整。如點題式結尾、首尾呼應式結尾等。

4.除此之外，好的故事結尾還可以合情合理、出人意料（自然式結尾）；設置懸念，留想象空間（留白式結尾）；寓情于景，情景交融（景物描寫式結尾）；合理推斷，拔高立意（哲理式結尾）。

【案例導引】

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。

Bird song

“Let it go!”Caroline yelled.Two boys were bending over a hurt bird, as a third one held the poor creature by its wings.“You'll hurt it,”Caroline looked fearful for the bird.

The tallest stood up and glared at Caroline.“Here, catch this!”he said as he sailed the broken-winged bird at Caroline.The poor creature cried in pain, as its wings had been badly damaged.The boys ran off.

Caroline bent down to carefully pick up the bird.The poor feathered soul was wriggling（扭動）about,with a fearful look in its eyes.“Don't worry,”Caroline whispered softly.She took a handkerchief from her pocket and gently placed the bird on it.

Caroline walked back to her house as quickly as she could, careful not to shake the bird around too much.She found a shoe box,filled it with soft cotton balls and then laid the bird down in its new resting place.

“Let me get you some water and food.That's the least I can do.”She took a tiny saucer from the kitchen, filled it with water, and placed it in a corner of the box.She managed to find some sunflower seeds, as that was the only bird-friendly food she could think of.Caroline was worried.She didn't want the bird to die.The poor bird was now fast asleep,no doubt tired out from its earlier suffering.“Please don't die,”Caroline whispered tearfully.

If there was anyone whom she could turn to, it would be Mr Roberts.Mr Roberts was working at the nature museum.He had bird feeders throughout his yard, and sometimes would drop in her science class at school.Caroline never knew there was so much information about birds,until hearing him speak.She figured he would know what to do.

注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應為150左右。

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Caroline called Mr Roberts and hurriedly told him her tale.______________________

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In the morning, the Blackwell Bird Rescue Society called, informing a car would come to pick up the bird at10am.___________________________________________________

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文本解讀

一、原文的語篇要素

Who When Where What Why How Caroline,three boys and Mr Roberts not mentioned in the open air;in Caroline's house Caroline made efforts to save a bird.Its wings had been badly damaged.Caroline brought it home,took care of it and turned to Mr Roberts for help.

二、原文的情節(jié)脈絡

三、續(xù)寫精彩結尾

本文的主題語境是人與自然，講述的是卡羅琳尋求幫助、救治受傷的小鳥的故事。按照情節(jié)的發(fā)展趨勢和續(xù)寫兩段的段首句提示，接下來應該是卡羅琳打電話向羅伯茨求助，他幫卡羅琳聯(lián)系了當?shù)氐镍B類救助協(xié)會（Blackwell Bird Rescue Society）。經(jīng)過鳥類救助協(xié)會的專業(yè)救治，小鳥最終康復。那么在續(xù)寫時，我們應該如何突破寫作瓶頸，寫出精彩的結尾呢？

（一）自然式結尾

自然式結尾是指順著文章情節(jié)的自然發(fā)展趨勢結束全文，使文章結構完整，故事情節(jié)完整。這樣的結尾沒有套話，沒有空話，給人自然、明快的感覺。

按照情節(jié)的發(fā)展走向，故事的結局應該是：鳥類救助協(xié)會的人驅車前來把小鳥接去救治，最終小鳥得以康復。那么，我們可以這樣結束故事：“Two weeks later, news came that the bird had completely recovered, which made Caroline smile with relief.”。一句話交代了小鳥的結局，自然、清楚、不含糊。

（二）留白式結尾

留白式結尾是指不用邏輯思維的方式直截了當?shù)乇硎?，而是描寫一個動作、一個變化，后面部分留白，給讀者留下一個畫面、一個想象的余地。

續(xù)寫第二段的開頭，鳥類救助協(xié)會派人過來接小鳥，那小鳥最終有沒有康復呢？“Standing at the door,Caroline watched the driver get back into the car,which slowly drove away and disappeared from sight.”這個結尾描述了一個“車子帶著小鳥緩緩消失”的畫面，至于小鳥的結局如何，結尾給讀者留下了一個想象的空間。

（三）首尾呼應式結尾

首尾呼應式結尾是指續(xù)寫的文章結尾與原文開頭遙相呼應。前有伏筆，后有照應，這種結尾方式能使文章的結構更加緊密、嚴謹，內容更加深刻、完整，更能使讀者產生共鳴。

根據(jù)原文第二段的“The poor creature cried in pain, as its wings had been badly damaged.”可知，這只小鳥的翅膀受了重傷，那么后續(xù)對它的救治也主要是針對翅膀。它的翅膀治好了嗎？它能再次飛翔嗎？文章的結尾我們可以這樣寫：“Days later,Caroline received a short video from Mr Roberts, in which the bird was practicing its broken wings and singing song lively.”。這個結尾既交代了小鳥正在康復的結果，又呼應了前文的信息，使文章內容更加緊密、完整。

（四）點題式結尾

點題式結尾是指在續(xù)寫文章結尾時用一兩句話來總結文章的主旨，升華主題，起到畫龍點睛的作用。

按照高考評價體系的要求，高考作文要體現(xiàn)正確的世界觀、人生觀和價值觀，要弘揚真善美，傳遞正能量。那么，故事的結尾一定是美好的、積極向上的。這也就意味著小鳥最后一定被治好了，并被放歸自然。因此，我們可以考慮這樣寫結尾：“Weeks later, while Caroline was sitting at the window, she heard a bird singing outside in the tree.Looking out,she immediately recognized that it was the bird she had saved.”。這樣的結尾不僅可以給故事設定一個圓滿的結局，其中的a bird singing outside 還和文章的標題相呼應，升華了主題。

（五）景物（環(huán)境）描寫式結尾

景物（環(huán)境）描寫式結尾是指在讀后續(xù)寫中以景作結，寓情于景，達到不言情而情無限的效果。我們在以景結情時要注意環(huán)境的描寫與人物的心情相照應，融情于景。

結尾時我們也可以考慮通過對環(huán)境的描寫來烘托這個溫暖人心的主題。比如：“Bathed in the golden sunlight, Caroline felt relieved as the breeze gently kissed her face.”。其中，golden sunlight 和breeze 都能給人帶來溫暖的感覺，就像這個故事一樣，溫暖人心。

（六）哲理式結尾

哲理式結尾是對文章中心思想的總結，包含作者想要表達的寓意和想與讀者分享的感悟。這種結尾方式往往是通過以小見大、從物到人、由事及理、從點到面、由一及眾等方式升華文章主題。我們在續(xù)寫結尾的時候，通?？梢酝ㄟ^表現(xiàn)人生感悟、生活真諦、生活哲理、人生觀或價值觀來實現(xiàn)情感升華。

既然高考作文要體現(xiàn)正確的世界觀、人生觀和價值觀，弘揚真善美，傳遞正能量，那么在人與自然的主題下，故事的最終結果一定是人與自然的和諧共處。因此，我們可以用一個哲理性的句子來結束全文：“Animals are our friends, and we should live in harmony with them.”。這樣的結尾由事及理、以小見大，傳達了正確的世界觀和價值觀，升華了主題。

（七）反思式結尾

反思式結尾是指作者通過一個心理活動的描寫，凸顯文章的主題，對全文起畫龍點睛的作用。

如果用反思式結尾來結束這個故事，我們或許可以這樣寫：“Learning that the little bird was getting better and better in the Blackwell Bird Rescue Society, Caroline thought,‘What I have done is worthwhile.’”。這樣的結尾不僅交代了小鳥的結局，而且主人公對事件的反思和總結（“我”所做的一切都是值得的）也給讀者傳遞了正能量，凸顯了文章的主題。

【參考范文】

Paragraph 1:

Caroline called Mr Roberts and hurriedly told him her tale.She told him about the boys and the bird.Mr Roberts was moved by Caroline's efforts.“That bird is fortunate that you came to its rescue.Don't worry.I will make a call to the bird rescue society.They canmake a pick-up for your feathered friend in the morning,”Mr Roberts assured Caroline confidently.Breathing a sigh of relief, Caroline looked at the bird, which was still peacefully sleeping in the box as if nothing had happened.She went to bed, hoping that it would survive the night.Paragraph 2:

In the morning, the Blackwell Bird Rescue Society called, informing a car would come to pick up the bird at10am.Hanging up the phone, Caroline smiled with relief.“I guess this is goodbye,”Caroline said to the bird in the shoe box.Curiously,it replied with a short chirp as if it understood what she was saying.As scheduled, a car from the Blackwell Bird Rescue Society pulled up to her house at 10 am.After examining it carefully, the driver packed the bird gently into the car, promising Caroline that they would get the little one back up and flying again.Days later, Caroline received a short video from Mr Roberts, in which the bird was practicing its broken wings and singing song lively.“You are welcome,”she smiled.

【模擬導練】

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構成一篇完整的短文。

A meal with a smile

At eleven years old,my main concern was money.Where could I get it? What would I spend it on? How much did I need to buy the new must-have things my classmates either had or wanted just as badly as I did?I went to my mom.“Mom,I need more money,”I said,leaning against the kitchen counter while she cooked dinner.“What else can kids do for a job around here?”

“You think you need a job?”Mom asked with a smile.“You could just enjoy the summer like the other kids, you know?”“I'll still have time for that, but I want to work,”I shrugged.“Okay,let me ask around,”Mom finally agreed.

The next day, she had an answer.“Your grandmother will pay you to help her deliver lunch each day to the elderly.”I couldn't wait to start my new job on Monday after school was dismissed for the summer.When my grandmother picked me up, I thanked her for the job with questions.“It's simple.We pick up a large container full of hot meals in a nearby town and then we go on our delivery route,”she said.That was easy.

After our load was arranged in the backseat,my grandmother drove us to our first stop:a small house.I nearly jumped when I glanced over to see a tiny old woman in the corner looking at me.When I drew near to her, she smiled at me, revealing no teeth.The house smelled terrible and looked old like the antique stores my mom liked to visit.I held my breath until we went back out onto the porch.Was this really how some people lived? I couldn't wrap my head around it.

The next stop was much the same and the next.The houses varied in size and shape;some were nicer than others, but the same wrinkly people eagerly waited for their meals.Each person smiled at me and thanked me again and again as I hurried to get out of there.I was sweaty and tired.

注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應為150左右。

Paragraph 1:

On our way back home,I sat in the backseat silently with the idea of giving up.______

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Her words touched me deeply and I decided to continue the job.__________________

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【評價導思】

1.續(xù)寫這篇文章時，你可以采用哪些方式結尾呢？

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2.你采用了哪種方式續(xù)寫結尾？你的結尾是否能升華主題？

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3.在續(xù)寫結尾時，你覺得最難的是什么？

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