沈奧
一、引言
讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)作為一種半開(kāi)放性質(zhì)的寫(xiě)作形式,要求學(xué)生依據(jù)所給語(yǔ)言材料、所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫(xiě),進(jìn)而將其發(fā)展成一篇與給定材料有邏輯銜接、情節(jié)和結(jié)構(gòu)完整的短文。情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)是學(xué)生在進(jìn)行續(xù)寫(xiě)時(shí)的重要環(huán)節(jié),但由于閱讀輸入不足、生活經(jīng)驗(yàn)欠缺等問(wèn)題,學(xué)生在設(shè)計(jì)續(xù)寫(xiě)情節(jié)時(shí)的表現(xiàn)往往不盡如人意。對(duì)此,學(xué)生可以學(xué)習(xí)契訶夫法則的相關(guān)內(nèi)容,實(shí)現(xiàn)對(duì)讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)的優(yōu)化。
契訶夫法則又稱“契訶夫之槍”,這一名稱來(lái)源于俄國(guó)大作家契訶夫曾經(jīng)說(shuō)過(guò)的一段話:在故事開(kāi)頭出現(xiàn)過(guò)的物品一定要在后來(lái)使用到,否則它就不應(yīng)該在故事開(kāi)端出現(xiàn)。假如一部影片的開(kāi)頭給墻上一把用于收藏的古董槍安排了一個(gè)特寫(xiě)鏡頭,那么到影片結(jié)束的時(shí)候,它就應(yīng)該發(fā)揮作用,例如最后主人公在命懸一線之際用這把槍干掉了對(duì)手;要是這把槍從頭到尾都沒(méi)有發(fā)揮作用,那么它壓根就不應(yīng)該出現(xiàn)在鏡頭里面。
契訶夫法則提示學(xué)生捕捉原文中隱藏的關(guān)鍵細(xì)節(jié),并在續(xù)寫(xiě)中設(shè)計(jì)合理再現(xiàn),實(shí)現(xiàn)續(xù)寫(xiě)與原文在邏輯線索、情節(jié)發(fā)展等維度上的高協(xié)同。契訶夫法則也對(duì)培養(yǎng)學(xué)生的閱讀素養(yǎng)起到了反撥作用。本文結(jié)合2022浙江卷與2022新高考全國(guó)I卷中的讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)語(yǔ)篇,探究學(xué)生如何依據(jù)契訶夫法則優(yōu)化情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì),產(chǎn)出優(yōu)秀的讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)語(yǔ)篇。
二、發(fā)現(xiàn)“契訶夫之槍”
為成功使用契訶夫法則優(yōu)化續(xù)寫(xiě)情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì),學(xué)生首先需要辨識(shí)出續(xù)寫(xiě)原文中的“契訶夫之槍”。
1. 呈現(xiàn)劃線關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)
浙江卷中的讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)原文包含多個(gè)標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ),這些關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)由命題者精心挑選,具有明顯的指向性,是潛在的“契訶夫之槍”。以2022浙江卷為例,其讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)真題如下。
[例1]
I needed to do something in my community (社區(qū)) in order to complete the community service hours required to graduate from high school. Some of my friends had signed up to spend time at a soup kitchen, so I did, too. It seemed like a good thing to do.
I thought that we would just be passing out dinners to those in need, but I found out we would be doing everything from preparing to serving the dinner. We began preparing the food, from mixing salad dressing to separating frozen meat. Much still needed to be done before dinner was served, but already outside the building many homeless people were gathering. It wasn't until a couple of hours later that we opened the doors and began serving dinner.
As the line of people came toward me, I got a little scared. I'd come face to face with the homeless: How should I act? How would they treat me? Would they hate me for having more than they did? While some of the people looked very friendly, some of them looked so dangerous. I didn't have too much time to worry about it. I was assigned (分配) to serve the salad with the lady next to me. She smiled at me and said if I needed help, she'd be right there, which I found quite comforting.
I had never seen so many people wanting food. They were of all ages and nationalities. Most of them wore clothes that were torn and dirty. Some looked like they had totally given up on life, while others seemed to be making the best of the situation, smiling and joking. Some were better off than others, but they all needed a good meal and a warm place to eat. It saddened me to think of how many people there were who did'?t have a place to call home and the only food they got came from a soup kitchen.
續(xù)寫(xiě)原文所包含的劃線詞語(yǔ)為:spend,need,homeless,friendly,the lady,comforting,clothes,life。從理論上看,上述所有詞語(yǔ)都是“契訶夫之槍”,但是限于續(xù)寫(xiě)篇幅及字?jǐn)?shù)上限要求,學(xué)生需要梳理出其中最關(guān)鍵的詞語(yǔ),進(jìn)而避免為了優(yōu)化情節(jié)而使續(xù)寫(xiě)過(guò)于冗長(zhǎng)。
為找出最關(guān)鍵的詞語(yǔ),學(xué)生需要結(jié)合語(yǔ)篇特征,按照一定的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)對(duì)這些劃線詞語(yǔ)進(jìn)行分類(lèi)。分類(lèi)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)包括但不限于按詞性分類(lèi)、按要素分類(lèi)、按因果關(guān)系分類(lèi)、按時(shí)間分類(lèi)、按空間分類(lèi)等。其中,按詞性分類(lèi)是指按照名詞、動(dòng)詞、形容詞、副詞等詞性對(duì)劃線詞語(yǔ)進(jìn)行分類(lèi),這種分類(lèi)方式最為直觀。按要素分類(lèi)需要解析構(gòu)成事物特征的要素,這些要素的劃分可以是嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)?shù)?、符合科學(xué)規(guī)律的,例如人們?cè)谟懻撻L(zhǎng)方體體積時(shí),需要考慮長(zhǎng)、寬、高三個(gè)要素;要素的劃分也可以是約定俗成的,比如人們?cè)跀⑹龉适聲r(shí)經(jīng)常會(huì)將其解構(gòu)為時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)、人物、起因、經(jīng)過(guò)、結(jié)果六個(gè)基本要素。按因果關(guān)系、時(shí)間、空間分類(lèi)可以視作是在要素分類(lèi)基礎(chǔ)上的升級(jí),這三種分類(lèi)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)更為細(xì)致,與語(yǔ)篇情節(jié)的聯(lián)系也更為緊密,能夠給學(xué)生發(fā)現(xiàn)“契訶夫之槍”、優(yōu)化情節(jié)設(shè)計(jì)提供不小的幫助。
在日常續(xù)寫(xiě)訓(xùn)練中,學(xué)生可以運(yùn)用多個(gè)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)對(duì)劃線詞進(jìn)行分類(lèi)。如果某一劃線詞在多個(gè)分類(lèi)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)下都能得到明確區(qū)分,那其必然是出題者預(yù)設(shè)的、希望學(xué)生使用的“契訶夫之槍”。
例如,按照詞性標(biāo)準(zhǔn),2022浙江卷中的劃線詞語(yǔ)可進(jìn)行如下的分類(lèi):
這些劃線詞語(yǔ)也可以按照要素進(jìn)行如下的分類(lèi):
綜合兩種分類(lèi),學(xué)生可以發(fā)現(xiàn)涉及名詞、涉及人物與事物的劃線詞the lady和clothes與情節(jié)的發(fā)展最為緊密,應(yīng)成為“契訶夫之槍”的首選。學(xué)生在續(xù)寫(xiě)時(shí)需要圍繞相關(guān)詞語(yǔ)設(shè)計(jì)對(duì)應(yīng)情節(jié)。
2. 缺乏劃線關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)
續(xù)寫(xiě)原文中的劃線詞語(yǔ)能夠給學(xué)生發(fā)現(xiàn)“契訶夫之槍”提供不少幫助。但是其他地區(qū)的高考并不提供劃線詞語(yǔ),缺少了命題者的“善意提示”,學(xué)生發(fā)現(xiàn)“契訶夫之槍”的難度也相應(yīng)增加。以2022新高考全國(guó)I卷為例,其讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)真題如下。
[例2]
It was the day of the big cross-country run. Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route (路線) through thick evergreen forest.
I looked around and finally spotted David, who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence. He was small for ten years old. His usual big toothy smile was absent today. I walked over and asked him why he wasn't with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run.
What was wrong? He had worked so hard for this event!
I quickly searched the crowd for the school's coach and asked him what had happened. “I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him,”he explained uncomfortably.“I gave him the choice to run or not, and let him decide.”
I bit back my frustration (懊惱). I knew the coach meant well-he thought he was doing the right thing. After making sure that David could run if he wanted, I turned to find him coming towards me, his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.
David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children, but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid. He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing. That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team. It just took him longer-that's all. David had not missed a single practice, and although he always finished his run long after the other children, he did always finish. As a special education teacher at the school, I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination.
為找出“契訶夫之槍”,學(xué)生同樣需要梳理原文中的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)。在沒(méi)有劃線詞語(yǔ)的情況下,學(xué)生首先可以根據(jù)最基本的“5W1H”分類(lèi)原則,搜索出原文中涉及who,what,where,when這四類(lèi)要素的詞語(yǔ):
之后,學(xué)生可以分析相關(guān)詞語(yǔ)在原文中復(fù)現(xiàn)的頻率。復(fù)現(xiàn)頻率較高的詞語(yǔ)是原文的核心,不容易被學(xué)生所遺漏;而在原文中出現(xiàn)過(guò)但復(fù)現(xiàn)頻率較低的詞語(yǔ)則很容易被學(xué)生遺忘,是學(xué)生需要留意的“契訶夫之槍”。以上述Who一欄中的詞語(yǔ)為例,I與David兩詞在文中出現(xiàn)的頻率最高,二者是故事的主人公,是語(yǔ)篇刻畫(huà)的立體人物;剩余的students和classmates可以視作同義詞,在特定場(chǎng)合可以交替使用,他們與coach是故事刻畫(huà)的扁平人物,這三個(gè)詞語(yǔ)都在原文推動(dòng)了情節(jié)的發(fā)展,可以成為學(xué)生的“契訶夫之槍”。類(lèi)似地,What一欄中的brain disease一詞在原文中只出現(xiàn)了一次,但該詞可以被視作為整個(gè)故事發(fā)展的誘因,十分重要,也可以成為學(xué)生續(xù)寫(xiě)時(shí)的“契訶夫之槍”。
在缺乏劃線關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)的情況下,學(xué)生同樣需要留意原文中表述人物與事物的詞語(yǔ),并同時(shí)結(jié)合對(duì)應(yīng)詞語(yǔ)出現(xiàn)的頻率,關(guān)注、剖析低頻詞匯,進(jìn)而成功發(fā)現(xiàn)“契訶夫之槍”。
三、再現(xiàn)“契訶夫之槍”
學(xué)生在成功發(fā)現(xiàn)“契訶夫之槍”后需要在續(xù)寫(xiě)中合理再現(xiàn)“契訶夫之槍”,實(shí)現(xiàn)邏輯線索上的閉環(huán)。
1. 再現(xiàn)的時(shí)機(jī)
“契訶夫之槍”再現(xiàn)的頻率不宜過(guò)高,理論上只需再現(xiàn)一次、與主人公產(chǎn)生一次互動(dòng)即可。
讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)要求學(xué)生續(xù)寫(xiě)兩段話。根據(jù)情節(jié)山(圖1)的相關(guān)原則,續(xù)寫(xiě)第一段往往為故事的發(fā)展(development),續(xù)寫(xiě)第二段則為故事的高潮(climax)與結(jié)尾(ending)。
學(xué)生可以選擇在續(xù)寫(xiě)第一段再現(xiàn)“契訶夫之槍”,使之成為將情節(jié)推向高潮的必要元素。學(xué)生也可以在續(xù)寫(xiě)第二段再現(xiàn),使其成為主旨表達(dá)的點(diǎn)睛之筆。如果原文中存在多把“契訶夫之槍”,學(xué)生可以在續(xù)寫(xiě)第一段與第二段分別再現(xiàn)不同的“契訶夫之槍”,避免某一段信息過(guò)于密集。
以2022新高考全國(guó)I卷為例,原文中存在coach與brain disease兩把“契訶夫之槍”。根據(jù)上述原則,學(xué)生可以在續(xù)寫(xiě)第一段再現(xiàn)coach一詞,描繪coach與主人公“I”和David產(chǎn)生的新互動(dòng),而coach在態(tài)度上的轉(zhuǎn)變使David下定決心參賽,以此使coach這個(gè)扁平人物推動(dòng)情節(jié)的發(fā)展。學(xué)生可以在第二段再現(xiàn)brain disease一詞,以此烘托出主人公David不畏身體缺陷、嘗試自我突破的堅(jiān)強(qiáng)品質(zhì),點(diǎn)明語(yǔ)篇鼓勵(lì)讀者勇于挑戰(zhàn)的正向價(jià)值,實(shí)現(xiàn)續(xù)寫(xiě)與原文在思想主旨維度的高協(xié)同。
2. 再現(xiàn)的方式
再現(xiàn)“契訶夫之槍”的方式也有講究。以主人公的視角為基點(diǎn),“契訶夫之槍”的再現(xiàn)方式可以分為“主人公主動(dòng)搜索”及“主人公被動(dòng)遭遇”。
所謂“主人公主動(dòng)搜索”,是指主人公通過(guò)事件的推進(jìn)意識(shí)到了某一人物、事物對(duì)于解決當(dāng)前沖突的重要性,進(jìn)而主動(dòng)與“契訶夫之槍”產(chǎn)生交集,再次將后者拉入讀者的視野。例如在2022新高考全國(guó)I卷中,上文提到的“契訶夫之槍”可以通過(guò)這一方式再現(xiàn):主人公意識(shí)到是coach的話語(yǔ)影響了David,進(jìn)而主動(dòng)找到coach,二人一起與David談心并改變David的看法,成功說(shuō)服David參加比賽。又如在2022浙江卷中,the lady一詞作為“契訶夫之槍”也可以通過(guò)這樣的方式再現(xiàn):主人公在分發(fā)食物時(shí)手忙腳亂,并回憶起the lady的話語(yǔ)“…and said if I needed help, she'd be right there…”進(jìn)而主動(dòng)尋求the lady的幫助,順利完成志愿者活動(dòng)。“主人公主動(dòng)搜素”的再現(xiàn)方式對(duì)于學(xué)生而言相對(duì)容易掌握,但這一方式也有刻意之嫌,有時(shí)候會(huì)使故事情節(jié)發(fā)展不那么自然。所以,當(dāng)自身的語(yǔ)用能力達(dá)到一定水平時(shí),學(xué)生可以使用“主人公被動(dòng)遭遇”的方式再現(xiàn)“契訶夫之槍”。
所謂“主人公被動(dòng)遭遇”,是指主人公在不自覺(jué)中接觸到了“契訶夫之槍”,并在其幫助下順利解決矛盾。例如2022新高考全國(guó)I卷中的“契訶夫之槍”coach也可以通過(guò)這一方式再現(xiàn):coach在無(wú)意中聽(tīng)到了主人公與David的談話,并意識(shí)到自己之前的話語(yǔ)對(duì)David影響之大,進(jìn)而主動(dòng)介入二者的對(duì)話,積極鼓勵(lì)David參賽。這一再現(xiàn)方式相較于“主人公主動(dòng)搜索”更為自然。若能在續(xù)寫(xiě)第二段使用使用這種方式再現(xiàn)伏筆,更有可能產(chǎn)出“意料之外、情理之中”的歐亨利式結(jié)尾,讓續(xù)寫(xiě)的情節(jié)更為出彩。
通過(guò)學(xué)習(xí)發(fā)現(xiàn)與再現(xiàn)“契訶夫之槍”的相關(guān)技巧,學(xué)生可以在2022新高考全國(guó)I卷產(chǎn)出如下的續(xù)寫(xiě)作品:
We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn't look at me. I asked him if he really decided to quit. He hesitated a lot and murmured, “I do want to have a try, but other kids will tease me…” He lowered his head and stared at the ground. At that time, the coach appeared, he said that he noticed our chat and expressed his sorrow to David. We assured David that he would be the best runner on condition that he finished the run. Hearing our words, David stood up, straightening his small body and moving through the crowds with determination.
I watched as David moved up to the starting line with other runners. The signal pistol going off, David rushed out but no wonder he was left far behind. His unusual movement drew audience's attention. With all eyes fixed on him, his small body was gradually swallowed up by the thick forest. After a long time, David emerged from the forest, making his way to the finish line with everyone's applause and cheering. Obviously, brain disease could never defeat a boy with strong determination.
該續(xù)寫(xiě)選擇在故事的發(fā)展部分再現(xiàn)the coach,在結(jié)尾部分再現(xiàn)brain disease。解鈴還須系鈴人,通過(guò)在續(xù)寫(xiě)第一段以“主人公被動(dòng)遭遇”的方式再現(xiàn)the coach及其開(kāi)導(dǎo),David能夠更自然地解開(kāi)心結(jié),推動(dòng)情節(jié)發(fā)展。而結(jié)尾部分對(duì)brain disease的再現(xiàn),則在完成故事邏輯閉環(huán)的同時(shí)實(shí)現(xiàn)情感的升華。
四、結(jié)語(yǔ)
1. 忠實(shí)原文
根據(jù)契訶夫法則,故事作者在設(shè)計(jì)情節(jié)時(shí)會(huì)在故事的開(kāi)始與發(fā)展階段設(shè)置諸多伏筆,擺放多把“契訶夫之槍”,讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)語(yǔ)篇亦是如此。這啟示學(xué)生研讀續(xù)寫(xiě)原文,通過(guò)搜索、分類(lèi)等措施找出隱藏在原文中的“契訶夫之槍”;同時(shí),結(jié)合上文發(fā)現(xiàn)“契訶夫之槍”的內(nèi)容,續(xù)寫(xiě)原文中的伏筆已經(jīng)十分豐富,這也提示學(xué)生在續(xù)寫(xiě)時(shí)不要隨意增添新人物、新事物,借此來(lái)解決故事沖突;不要為解決矛盾而可以制造新的矛盾,而應(yīng)忠實(shí)原文,找好、用好原文提供的線索,讓續(xù)寫(xiě)情節(jié)和作者思路在高協(xié)同的狀態(tài)下推進(jìn)。
2. 關(guān)注留白
留白是中國(guó)藝術(shù)作品創(chuàng)作中常用的一種手法,具體指藝術(shù)創(chuàng)作為使整個(gè)作品畫(huà)面、章法更為協(xié)調(diào)而有意留下相應(yīng)的空白,留有想象的空間。學(xué)生在續(xù)寫(xiě)時(shí)也應(yīng)該關(guān)注留白,不把故事“寫(xiě)滿”。這是因?yàn)樽髡咴谠O(shè)計(jì)整個(gè)故事情節(jié)時(shí)往往會(huì)在前文放置多把“契訶夫之槍”,這些伏筆理論上也都能夠在原故事結(jié)尾得到呼應(yīng);但考慮到讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)是經(jīng)過(guò)改編后的語(yǔ)篇,且存在篇幅和字?jǐn)?shù)的上限要求,學(xué)生就不能夠在續(xù)寫(xiě)中再現(xiàn)所有的“契訶夫之槍”,而應(yīng)該回應(yīng)一到兩個(gè)最關(guān)鍵的伏筆,用最精確的手段解決故事的主要矛盾,對(duì)剩下的“契訶夫之槍”則采用留白處理。
責(zé)任編輯吳昊雷