My Black Puppy小黑狗

蕭紅 譯/李運(yùn)興 審訂/寇哲明

像從前一樣，大狗是睡在門前的木臺(tái)上。望著這兩只狗我沉默著。我自己知道又是想起我的小黑狗來(lái)了。

As usual， the two big dogs were sleeping on the wooden platform in front of the gate. Staring at them， I realized I was again thinking of the black pup I once owned.

前兩個(gè)月的一天早晨，我去倒臟水。在房后的角落處，房東的使女小鈺蹲在那里。她的黃頭發(fā)毛蓬著，我記得清清的，她的衣扣還開(kāi)著。我看見(jiàn)的是她的背面，所以我不能預(yù)測(cè)這是發(fā)生了什么！

One morning two months ago， when I went out to empty the chamber pot， I saw the landlady’s housemaid Xiaoyu squatting near the rear corner of the house. Her fluffy yellow hair and unbuttoned jacket still remain fresh in my mind to this day. But with only a view of her back， I could hardly figure what she was up to.

我斟酌1著我的聲音，還不等我向她問(wèn)，她的手已在顫抖，唔！她顫抖的小手上有個(gè)小狗在閉著眼睛，我問(wèn)：

“哪里來(lái)的？”

“你來(lái)看吧！”

她說(shuō)著，我只看她毛蓬的頭發(fā)搖了一下，手上又是一個(gè)小狗在閉著眼睛。

不僅一個(gè)兩個(gè)，不能辨清是幾個(gè)，簡(jiǎn)直是一小堆。我也和孩子一樣，和小鈺一樣歡喜著跑進(jìn)屋去，在床邊拉他的手：

“平森……啊，……喔喔……”

我的鞋底在地板上響，但我沒(méi)說(shuō)出一個(gè)字來(lái)，我的嘴廢物似的啊喔著。他的眼睛瞪住，和我一樣，我是為了歡喜，他是為了驚愕。最后我告訴了他，是房東的大狗生了小狗。

I wanted to ask her， and began to soften my tone. However， before I could even open my mouth， her hands began to tremble. Ah！ In her tender hands I glimpsed a small pup， eyes closed.

“Where did you get it？” I asked.

“Come and see.”

Thus saying， she tossed her fluffy hair， and I saw in her hands another pup， also with its eyes closed.

No， not only two. I couldn’t tell how many， there must have been a bunch of them. Full of joy， I became as childlike as Xiaoyu. I ran back to my room and grabbed the hand of Pingsen， who was still in bed.

“Pingsen… Ah… Er…”

The soles of my shoes resounded on the floor， while I failed to utter a single coherent word， as if my mouth had lost its function. We were locked in a mutual stare， for him out of astonishment， and for me out of happiness. Finally I managed to tell him that the big dog of the landlord had given birth.

過(guò)了四天，別的一只母狗2也生了小狗。

以后小狗都睜開(kāi)眼睛了。我們天天玩著它們，又給小狗搬了個(gè)家，把它們都裝進(jìn)木箱里。

爭(zhēng)吵就是這天發(fā)生的3：小鈺看見(jiàn)老狗把小狗吃掉一只，怕是那只老狗把它的小狗完全吃掉，所以不同意小狗和那個(gè)老狗同居，大家就搶奪著把余下的三個(gè)小狗也給裝進(jìn)木箱去，算是那只白花狗生的。

Four days later， another bitch， a white spotted dog， gave birth too.

By and by all the pups were able to open their eyes. We played with them all day. To give them a new home， we put them all in a wooden box.

Seeing that the old dog had eaten up one of its pups， Xiaoyu opposed letting it live with its litter any longer， for fear that it would do the same to the rest. Hence we purposely put the two litters together in the same box under the care of the white spotted dog. And it was this that led to the fight between the two dogs.

那個(gè)毛褪得稀疏、骨格突露、瘦得龍樣似的老狗，追上來(lái)。白花狗仗著年輕不懼?jǐn)常咄轮_(kāi)仗的聲音。平時(shí)這兩條狗從不咬架，就連咬人也不會(huì)?，F(xiàn)在兇惡極了。就像兩條小熊在咬架一樣。房東的男兒、女兒、聽(tīng)差、使女，又加我們兩個(gè)，此時(shí)都沒(méi)有用了。不能使兩個(gè)狗分開(kāi)。兩個(gè)狗滿院瘋狂地拖跑。人也瘋狂著。在人們吵鬧的聲音里，老狗的乳頭脫掉一個(gè)，含在白花狗的嘴里。4

The old dog， though not much more than skin and bones with a smattering of hair， somehow followed up. The spotted dog， taking the advantage of being younger， did not flinch， but snarled menacingly， ready to fight. These two dogs were usually very peaceful， never biting anyone. Yet now they were like two little bears， engaged in a brawl so vicious that neither the landlord’s sons and daughters nor their servants and housemaids could break them up. Pingsen and I were not able to be of any more help. The two dogs chased and wrestled with each other all over the courtyard. They were crazy， and so were the people around them. Amid the confusion， the spotted dog bit a nipple off the old dog and held it in its mouth.

人們算是把狗打開(kāi)了。老狗再追去時(shí)，白花狗已經(jīng)把乳頭吐到地上，跳進(jìn)木箱看護(hù)它的一群小狗去了。

脫掉乳頭的老狗，血流著，痛得滿院轉(zhuǎn)走。木箱里它的三個(gè)小狗卻擁擠著不是自己的媽媽，在安然地吃奶。

Eventually the two dogs were beaten apart. When the old dog tried to chase after the spotted dog again， the latter， leaving the bitten-off nipple on the ground， had already leapt in the wooden box， reassuming her role as mother to all the pups.

The old dog， bleeding and in pain， milled around in the courtyard， while in the wooden box its three pups were found suckling at the breast of the spotted dog， which was not their real mother.

有一天，把個(gè)小狗抱進(jìn)屋來(lái)放在桌上，它害怕，不能邁步，全身有些顫，我笑著像是得意，說(shuō)：

“平森，看小狗啊！”

他卻相反，說(shuō)道：

“哼！現(xiàn)在覺(jué)得小狗好玩，長(zhǎng)大要餓死的時(shí)候，就無(wú)人管了?！?/p>

Some days later， I took a pup into my room and sat it on the table. Fearful and unable to move， it was trembling all over. With a sense of pride， I said joyfully to Pingsen：

“Hey！ Come and have a look！”

But his response was the opposite of my expectation.

“Humph！ Now you think they are lovable， but nobody will care a fig when they grow up and starve to death.”

這話間接的可以了解。我笑著的臉被這話毀壞了，用我寞寞的手，把小狗送了出去。我心里有些不愿意，不愿意小狗將來(lái)餓死。可是我卻沒(méi)有說(shuō)什么，面向后窗，我看望后窗外的空地;這塊空地沒(méi)有陽(yáng)光照過(guò)，四面立著的是有產(chǎn)階級(jí)的高樓，幾乎是和陽(yáng)光絕了緣。不知什么時(shí)候，小狗是腐了、亂了，擠在木板下，左近有蒼蠅飛著。我的心情完全神經(jīng)質(zhì)下去，好像躺在木板下的小狗就是我自己，像聽(tīng)著蒼蠅在自己已死的尸體上尋食一樣。

I understood what he meant to say， and the smile on my face froze. In silence I took the pup out of the room. I was not happy with his words， I didn’t want to see the pups die of starvation， but I didn’t know what to say. I gazed through the back window at the vacant ground， where the sunshine was almost completely blocked out by the surrounding buildings of wealthy families. Under some wooden boards， a dead little pup had been left to rot away. It must have been there for quite some time， since flies were buzzing around the place. I sank into a sort of hallucination， in which I became the dead pup， listening to the buzz of the flies feeding themselves on my body.

平森走過(guò)來(lái)，我怕又要證實(shí)他方才的話。我假裝無(wú)事，可是他已經(jīng)看見(jiàn)那個(gè)小狗了。我怕他又要象征著說(shuō)什么5，可是他已經(jīng)說(shuō)了：

“一個(gè)小狗死在這沒(méi)有陽(yáng)光的地方，你覺(jué)得可憐么？年老的叫化子不能尋食，死在陰溝里，或是黑暗的街道上;女人，孩子，就是年輕人失了業(yè)的時(shí)候也是一樣?！?/p>

Pingsen walked over. I pretended to have seen nothing， for fear that he would use the dead pup as a proof of his words and launch into a longer lecture. However， he had already discovered the pup himself， and began talking：

“A little dog has died in such a sunless place， and you feel sorry for it？ What about the old beggars who can’t get any food and are left to die in the gutter or on the dark street？ Women， children， even young men out of a job all face the same fate.”

我愿意哭出來(lái)，但我不能因?yàn)槿硕颊f(shuō)女人一哭就算了事，我不愿意了事?？墒锹奈医K于哭了！他說(shuō)：“悄悄，你要哭么？這是平常的事，凍死，餓死，黑暗死，每天都有這樣的事情，把持住自己。渡我們的橋梁吧，小孩子！”

我怕著羞，把眼淚拭干了，但，終日我是心情寞寞。

I felt like crying. But I held back my tears， because people often say women settle everything with a fit of crying and I didn’t want to do so. Nonetheless， tears finally found their way down my cheeks. He said， “Hush！ Why cry？ It is the way of the world these days that people die from hunger， cold and darkness. Control yourself！ Take care of our own business， girl！”

Embarrassed， I wiped away my tears， though I remained in a pensive mood the whole day.

過(guò)了些日子，十二個(gè)小狗之中又少了兩個(gè)。但是剩下的這些更可愛(ài)了。會(huì)搖尾巴，會(huì)學(xué)著大狗叫，跑起來(lái)在院子就是一小群。有時(shí)門口來(lái)了生人，它們也跟著大狗跑去，并不咬，只是搖著尾巴，就像和生人要好似的，這或是小狗還不曉得它們的責(zé)任，還不曉得保護(hù)主人的財(cái)產(chǎn)。

The days passed， and another two of the twelve pups were found to be missing， which made the remaining ones more precious than ever. They wagged their tails， learned to bark after the big dogs， and roamed all over the courtyard in a little pack. Whenever a stranger appeared at the gate， they would run forward after the big dogs， but they never tried to bite， and only wagged their tails as a token of hospitality. Perhaps they were still too young to understand their duty to safeguard the property of their master.

天井中納涼的軟椅上，房東太太吸著煙。她開(kāi)始說(shuō)家常話了。結(jié)果又說(shuō)到了小狗：

“這一大群什么用也沒(méi)有，一個(gè)好看的也沒(méi)有，過(guò)幾天把它們遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)地送到馬路上去。秋天又要有一群，厭死人了！”

The landlady was sat in her armchair in the courtyard， smoking and enjoying the cool air. She began to talk casually， and the topic shifted to the pups：

“What’s the use of having all those pups？ Not one of them is good-looking！ Take them far off to the road and leave them there. Another bunch will be born in autumn. What a nuisance！”

坐在軟椅旁邊的是個(gè)60多歲的老更倌。眼花著，有主意的嘴結(jié)結(jié)巴巴地說(shuō)：

“明明……天，用麻……袋背送到大江去……”

Sitting by the landlady was a night watchman in his sixties. Straining his eyes， he stammered out a mean suggestion：

“Tomorrow， send them to the river in a bag…”

小鈺是個(gè)小孩子，她說(shuō)：

“不用送大江，慢慢都會(huì)送出去。”

Young as Xiaoyu was， she still managed to speak out：

“No need to send them to the river. There will be adopters.”

小狗滿院跑跳。我最愿意看的是它們睡覺(jué)，多是一個(gè)壓著一個(gè)脖子睡，小圓肚一個(gè)個(gè)的相擠著。是凡來(lái)了熟人的時(shí)候都是往外介紹，生得好看一點(diǎn)的抱走了幾個(gè)。

其中有一個(gè)耳朵最大，肚子最圓的小黑狗，算是我的了。我們的朋友用小提籃帶回去兩個(gè)，剩下的只有一個(gè)小黑狗和一個(gè)小黃狗。老狗對(duì)它兩個(gè)非常珍惜起來(lái)，爭(zhēng)著給小狗去舐絨毛。這時(shí)候，小狗在院子里已經(jīng)不成群了。

The pups ran all around the courtyard. They were most adorable when they slept together， this one’s head resting on another one’s neck， their round bellies pressed against each other. When we had visitors， we would ask them to adopt one or two， and a few good-looking ones were thus picked up and taken away.

I chose a black one as mine， its ears being the biggest and its belly the most protruding. A friend of ours then took away two more in a basket. Thus we were left with only two pups， one black and one yellow， to which the big dogs both tried to give more love， vying with each other to lick their fur. Now the pups could no longer form a pack in the yard.

我從街上回來(lái)，打開(kāi)窗子。我讀一本小說(shuō)。那個(gè)小黃狗撓著窗紗，和我玩笑似的豎起身子來(lái)?yè)狭擞謸稀?/p>

我想：

“怎么幾天沒(méi)有見(jiàn)到小黑狗呢？”

我喊來(lái)了小鈺。別的同院住的人都出來(lái)了，找遍全院，不見(jiàn)我的小黑狗。馬路上也沒(méi)有可愛(ài)的小黑狗，再也看不見(jiàn)它的大耳朵了！它忽然是失了蹤！

又過(guò)三天，小黃狗也被人拿走。

沒(méi)有媽媽的小鈺向我說(shuō)：

“大狗一聽(tīng)隔院的小狗叫，它就想起它的孩子?？墒菨M院急尋，上樓頂去張望。最終一個(gè)都不見(jiàn)，它哽哽地叫呢！”

I came back home from the street， opened the window and began to read a novel. Seeing me， the yellow pup stood up on its hind legs and scratched the gauze window mischievously.

“How come I haven’t seen my black pup these days？” I thought.

I called Xiaoyu. Many others living in the same courtyard also came to help. We searched every nook and cranny of the yard， but to no avail. It was not to be found in the street either. My big-eared pup was missing！

Three days later， someone adopted the yellow pup.

Xiaoyu， herself a motherless young girl， told me what she had seen：

“Every time the pups of our neighbor bark， our big dogs are reminded of theirs and begin to search all over the yard， even jumping on the roof to look around. Unable to see their own kids， they howl so sadly！”

十三個(gè)小狗一個(gè)不見(jiàn)了！和兩個(gè)月以前一樣，大狗是孤獨(dú)地睡在木臺(tái)上。

平森的小腳，鴿子形的小腳，棲在床單上，他是睡了。我在寫，我在想，玻璃窗上的三個(gè)蒼蠅在飛……? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? □

One by one the thirteen pups had gone. Like two months before， the big dogs slept lonely on the wooden platform.

Pingsen’s feet， his dove-shaped feet， were perched on the bed sheet—he was sleeping. I was writing， I was thinking， three flies were flying against the windowpane. ...