夢想在滑雪板上閃耀

廣東 王永幸

艾米在炎熱的拉斯維加斯沙漠中長大，她一直向往自由，幻想著住在下雪的地方。大學(xué)畢業(yè)后，她搬到了一個(gè)會(huì)下雪的地方，并愛上了滑雪，生活也算是一帆風(fēng)順，直到她的人生出現(xiàn)一個(gè)轉(zhuǎn)折……

題材生活體裁記敘文文章詞數(shù)334建議用時(shí)6分鐘

Growing up in the hot Las Vegas desert, all I wanted was to be free.I would daydream about traveling the world, living in a place where it snowed, and picturing all of the stories that I would go on to tell.

At the age of 22, the day after I graduated from college, I moved to a place where it snowed. I was crazy about snowboarding and went to the local hill every weekend, eventually becoming a solid rider.For the first time in my life, I felt free, independent and completely in control of my life until my life made a detour(彎路).I went home from work early one day,thinking that I had got flu.And less than 24 hours later I was in the hospital on life support with less than a two percent chance of living.It wasn't until days later as I lay in a coma(昏迷)that the doctors diagnosed me with bacterial meningitis(細(xì)菌性腦膜炎).Over the course of two and a half months I lost both of my legs below the knees.

When my parents wheeled me out of the hospital I felt like I had been pieced back together like a patchwork doll. I thought the worst was over until weeks later when I saw my new legs for the first time.I didn't know what to expect,but I wasn't expecting that. I strapped on my injured legs and I stood up. They were so painful that all I could think was how I was ever going to snowboard again.

That day, I went home. I crawled into bed and this was what my life looked like for the next few months: escaping from reality, with my“new legs”resting by my side. I was absolutely physically and emotionally broken.

But I knew that in order to move forward, I had to let go of the old Amy, and learn to embrace the new Amy.

Language Study

Sentences for writing

1.Growing up in the hot Las Vegas desert,all I wanted was to be free.在炎熱的拉斯維加斯沙漠中長大的我，最想要的就是獲得自由。

【信息提取】本句中的Growing up為現(xiàn)在分詞短語作狀語。

【句式仿寫】看著這張照片，我不禁懷念起我的中學(xué)時(shí)光。

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2.It wasn't until days later as I lay in a coma that the doctors diagnosed me with bacterial meningitis.幾天后，在我陷入昏迷之際，醫(yī)生才診斷出我得了細(xì)菌性腦膜炎。

【信息提取】本句含有一個(gè)強(qiáng)調(diào)句式：It is(was)+被強(qiáng)調(diào)部分+that(who)+句子其他部分。被強(qiáng)調(diào)部分常為主語、賓語和狀語。在 該句中，被強(qiáng)調(diào)部分為狀語部分not until days later as I lay in a coma。

【句式仿寫】我們是從太陽那兒獲得光和熱量的。

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Reading Check

閱讀上面的短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。注意：

1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好。

I decided to have a try,although things didn't go quite as expected.

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So I decided to make a special snowboard in my way.

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寫作導(dǎo)引

一、語篇研讀

要想續(xù)寫內(nèi)容與所給材料內(nèi)容連貫、銜接緊密，必須充分了解所給材料大意。本文是一篇記敘文，文章分析如下：

Characters Amy and her parents When Settings Where Beginning Plots Development At the age of 22,I graduated from college.I was in the hospital.I went home.I went home from work early one day and thought I had flu.The doctors diagnosed me with bacterial meningitis.Over the course of two and a half months I lost both of my legs below the knees.I was absolutely physically and emotionally broken.

Climax In order to move forward, I had to let go of the old Amy, and learn to embrace the new Amy....Theme Ending Believe in dreams and live beyond limits.

二、情節(jié)構(gòu)思

我們可以基于原文本和續(xù)寫段落首句提供的信息，構(gòu)思要續(xù)寫的故事情節(jié)。這一構(gòu)思分為四步。

第一步，根據(jù)已給出的文本判斷文章的立意。

文章開頭介紹艾米在炎熱的拉斯維加斯沙漠中長大，她一直向往自由，夢想周游世界，幻想著住在下雪的地方。大學(xué)畢業(yè)后，她搬到了一個(gè)會(huì)下雪的地方，并愛上了滑雪。不幸的是，她被診斷出患有細(xì)菌性腦膜炎，而且治療后失去了雙腿，她的夢想也因此受到了阻礙。這篇故事很有可能是圍繞著“夢想”這個(gè)主題而開展的。

第二步，根據(jù)續(xù)寫第一段的首句“I decided to have a try, although things didn't go quite as expected.”我們可以推測出，艾米決定嘗試做某事。我們可以從以下幾個(gè)問題入手：

（1）What did Amy want to try?

（2）What happened when she did this?

（3）What was her feeling?

（4）Was the snowboard suitable for her according to her special situation?

第三步，根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段所給出的段首句倒推續(xù)寫第一段要寫什么。

續(xù)寫第二段的首句為“So I decided to make a special snowboard in my way.”，我們從其中的關(guān)鍵詞make a special snowboard in my way 可以推測出，艾米使用的滑板并不適合她的假肢。那么，艾米要如何找到合適的滑板呢？她是否能找到合適的滑板呢？同時(shí)，第二段第一句話表達(dá)了“我”決定用自己的方式做一個(gè)特殊的滑板。為了使得這兩段銜接自然,我們可以推測第一段的最后一句話和滑雪板或者滑雪運(yùn)動(dòng)有關(guān)。

第四步，圍繞續(xù)寫第二段所給出的段首句進(jìn)行提問構(gòu)思：

（1）How did Amy make a special snowboard in her way?

（2）What happened after she got the special snowboard?

（3）What was Amy's feeling about this experience?

（4）How can the ending reflect the theme?

三、潤色成篇

在續(xù)寫的過程中要注意“續(xù)”的原則，做到主題、情節(jié)、語言風(fēng)格的一致性。具體如下：

（1）通過分析，本文的主題是弘揚(yáng)積極樂觀的人生觀，如勇敢面對挫折和相信夢想，續(xù)寫時(shí)應(yīng)注意結(jié)局的走向；

（2）續(xù)寫的情節(jié)應(yīng)和前面的開始和發(fā)展吻合，根據(jù)人物的性格特點(diǎn)進(jìn)行合理的預(yù)測，譬如艾米夢想環(huán)游世界和喜歡滑雪；

（3）前文有多處動(dòng)作描寫，且用了強(qiáng)調(diào)句、現(xiàn)在分詞作狀語、賓語從句和豐富的動(dòng)詞，續(xù)寫的時(shí)候應(yīng)盡量模仿并運(yùn)用這些語言形式；

（4）續(xù)寫時(shí)注意長短句相結(jié)合，句型豐富，語法、用詞、標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號的準(zhǔn)確性。