小幽默

楊揚(yáng)

Thinking Back

We were gathered together， all ten of us， for our widowed mothers 80th birthday. The conversation was of early struggles， walking to work and saving up in clothing clubs， when my elder sister said， “Of course， we were bound to be poor because we were such a big family. Mom， why did you have so many children？”

Mother looked around at us all and said， “Well， where did you want to me to stop？”

回憶

我們總共十個(gè)人，聚在一起祝賀已成為寡婦的媽媽的八十歲生日。談的話題是我們家早年的艱辛，走著去上班，在“新衣會(huì)”里存錢(qián)準(zhǔn)備買(mǎi)衣裳。這時(shí)我姐姐說(shuō)：“當(dāng)然，我們的生活沒(méi)法子不艱難，因?yàn)槲覀兗液⒆犹嗔?。媽媽，您為什么要生這么多的孩子呢？”

媽媽看了我們一圈說(shuō)：“那么，你想讓我在哪兒停住呢？”

Ill Carry You Down

My 15-year-old son came bounding in from school and found me in bed. “Dont you feel well， Mom？” he asked with concern. “No， I dont，” I said. “Well， dont you worry about dinner，” he reassured me. “Ill carry you down to the stove.”

我會(huì)把您背下去

我十五歲的兒子連跑帶顛地跑回家里發(fā)現(xiàn)我躺在床上。“媽媽，您覺(jué)得不舒服嗎？”他關(guān)心地問(wèn)?！笆堑?，我有點(diǎn)不舒服，”我說(shuō)?！澳敲?，您別擔(dān)心晚飯了?！彼蛭掖虮Ｆ闭f(shuō)：“我可以把您背到樓下的爐灶前去?！?/p>

Prize

Little Albert came home from school with a new book under his arm. “Its a prize， mother，” he explained.

“A prize？ What for， dear？”

“For natural history. Teacher asked me how many legs an ostrich has， and I said three.”

“But an ostrich has only two legs.”

“I know it now. But all the pupils said four， so I was the closest.”

獎(jiǎng)品

小阿爾伯特腋下夾著一本新書(shū)從學(xué)?；丶襾?lái)了。“這是獎(jiǎng)品，媽媽?！彼忉尩?。

“獎(jiǎng)品？因?yàn)槭裁吹玫?，親愛(ài)的？”

“因?yàn)樽匀徽n得的。老師問(wèn)我鴕鳥(niǎo)有幾條腿，我說(shuō)有三條?！?/p>

“但是鴕鳥(niǎo)是兩條腿的啊?！?/p>

“我現(xiàn)在知道了。但其他學(xué)生都說(shuō)有四條。所以還是我最接近正確答案。”

She Ate All My Bait

The young boy protested vigorously when his mother asked him to take his little sister along fishing. “The last time she came，” he objected， “I didnt catch a single fish.”

“Ill talk to her，” his mother said， “and I promise this time she wont make any noise.”

“It wasnt the noise， Mom，” the boy replied， “She ate all my bait.”

她把所有的誘餌都吃了

當(dāng)媽媽提出讓小男孩帶著妹妹一起去釣魚(yú)時(shí)，他堅(jiān)決反對(duì)?！吧洗嗡?，”他反對(duì)說(shuō)：“我連一條魚(yú)都沒(méi)能釣上。”

“我會(huì)告訴她，”媽媽說(shuō)：“我保證這次她不再發(fā)出響聲了?！?/p>

“媽媽，不是響聲，”男孩回答：“是她把所有的誘餌都吃了?！?/p>

（浙江杭州 楊? 揚(yáng) 供稿）