小幽默

楊揚

All Except the Music

A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music， so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable， she treated everyone to lemonade， cake， chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach， she said to little Sally， “Have you enjoyed yourself today？”

“Oh， yes， miss！” said Sally， “It was lovely. All except the music， that is.”

除了音樂

一位熱心的年輕教師想讓她的學(xué)生多了解一點優(yōu)秀的古典音樂，就安排了一天下午去聽音樂會。為了使這次活動能給大家留下更深的印象，她請大家喝檸檬汽水、吃點心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回來上汽車的時候，她問小薩莉：“你今天玩得好嗎？”

“噢，好極了，小姐，”薩莉說：“除了音樂其它都很好?！?/p>

These Are My Jeans

After going on a diet， a woman felt really good about herself—especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago.

“Look， look，” she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband. “I can wear my old jeans again.”

Her husband looked at her for a long time， when said， “Honey， I love you， but these are my jeans.”

那是我的褲子

一個婦女在減肥一段時間后自我感覺特別好——特別是當(dāng)她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔褲時。

她跑下樓沖她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的褲子了?！?/p>

她丈夫看了她好一會兒，然后說：“親愛的，我愛你。但那是我的褲子。”

All I Do Is Pay

“My family is just like a nation，” Mr. Brown told his colleague. “My wife is the minister of finance， my mother-in-law is the minister of war， and my daughter is foreign secretary.”

“Sounds interesting，” his colleague replied. “And what is your position？”

“Im the people. All I do is pay.”

我要做的一切就是付錢

布朗先生告訴同事說：“我的家簡直就像一個國家一樣。我妻子是財政部長，我岳母是作戰(zhàn)部長，我女兒是外交秘書?！?/p>

“聽上去挺有意思的，”他的同事說：“那你的職務(wù)是什么呢？”

“我就是一個要付錢的普通人?！?/p>

Visitors Day

The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitors Day， most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming， but poor George always sat alone in his cell.

So one Visitors Day， the warden called George to his office and said， “I notice youve never had any visitors， George.” Sympathetic， he put his hand on Georges shoulder. “Tell me， dont you have any friends or family？”

George replied， “Oh， sure I do， Warden. Its just that theyre all in here！”

探視日

典獄長對獄中一位囚犯深感同情，因為每逢周末的探訪日，大多數(shù)囚犯都有家人或朋友來訪，但是可憐的喬治總是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。

因此在一個探訪日，典獄長把喬治叫到辦公室說：“喬治，我注意到從來沒有人來探望過你?！彼麧M懷同情地把手放在喬治的肩膀上：“告訴我，你沒有任何朋友或家人嗎？”

喬治回答：“喔！當(dāng)然有，典獄長，只不過他們?nèi)荚谶@里面！”

（浙江杭州〓楊〓揚〓供稿）

小幽默