Tour with My Parents

At each Spring Festival,as soon as I arrived home,I would slam down my luggage and rush out to meet friends.My parents would shout from behind me,“When will you be back? Please make it earlier.”

“We haven’t seen each other for one year,” I replied without looking back.“It will be a little late.”

When we met back in Beijing,all of my friends were a little upset,for “we never seemed to spend much time with our parents.”

In fact,I spent more time with my friends than with my parents.

I only ate at home three times,while my parents cooked a lot of delicacies.

They were all asleep when I got home.And the next day when I woke up at noon,I’d hurry to have lunch out with friends.It seems that each time I go home,I don’t really talk with my parents for more than ten minutes.Nor do I have a good look at them.I don’t even bother to listen to their nagging—not knowing whether they can chat through WeChat,and what we know about our parents seems frozen in a longago memory.

Several friends would regret having behaved to their parents like this,but as sons or daughters,they had their own worries and difficulties.

Some were afraid that they would be pushed to get married when they talked with their parents.

Some were afraid of quarrels because they differed a lot from their parents in their shopping behaviors.

一

很多年的春節(jié)，我到了家，放下行李，就跑出去和各種朋友相聚。爸爸媽媽跟在后面喊：“什么時候回？早點回?！蔽翌^也不回地說：“一年沒見了。晚點回?！?/p>

回到北京，朋友相見，個個覺得懊惱：“我好像都沒怎么陪父母?！?/p>

其實，我和朋友待在一起的時間，比和父母的還要多。

我在家只吃了三次飯，他們做了好多菜。

我回家的時候，他們都睡了。我中午醒來又趕著和別人吃午飯。好像每次回家和父母都沒好好聊十分鐘，沒有仔細(xì)看過父母的樣子，甚至都懶得聽他們抱怨，不知道他們是否會用微信語音聊天，對父母的了解還只是停留在很久很久之前。

幾個朋友都悔不當(dāng)初，但子女也各有苦衷。

有人是因為和父母聊兩句就會被催婚，害怕。

Some were afraid of embarrassment because they had no idea how to communicate with their parents.

Even if we chose to stay with our parents,how could we promise to make them happy and feel at ease?

Finally,I advised,“Why not organize a travel group touring with our parents? They are almost the same age and share common topics of interest.Besides,it would be easier for our families to take care of each other together.”

A chain of troubles followed.

One trouble was that our parents simply didn’t want to travel during such a traditional Chinese vacation as the Spring Festival.For this,we changed our plan and decided to leave on the lunar New Year’s Day,so that at least we could spend New Year’s Eve at home.The other was that our parents didn’t know each other,so it would be a little awkward when they met for the first time.Worst of all,they were not familiar with their son’s friends.

It was a challenging and timeconsuming task to get them acquainted,but since we decided to do so,we were prepared to spend time on it.

Since then,whenever a friend’s parents came to Beijing,all other friends in our circle would show up to eat,drink,and chat together.The parents would then be relieved to see that their child had such a group of funny,good-natured,and hard-working friends.

Gradually,we have all got to know each other’s parents.

The second step we took was to bring parents to a friend’s hometown on holidays,which helped some parents get familiar easily.

My father was good at drinking.So one day,he invited my good friend Will and his father,who is fond of liquor,to my hometown.At lunch,Will was a little timid at first,so he cautiously poured liquor into a small baijiu cup to make a polite toast to my father.However,my father picked up the mug (liquor divider) in front of him and told Will’s father,“Hey,my friend,since this is the first time we’ve met,let’s just finish the mug.You know the saying?Bosom friends gulp it down;nodding acquaintances take a sip.” Having never heard such a jingle before,Will’s father was stunned for a moment and then emptied the mug unconsciously.Will’s mother and mine were extremely worried right there.

My father patted Will’s father on his shoulder and said,“Bravo,buddy!”

Soon,the fathers’ faces flushed.Will and I exchanged glances,both convinced that they’d became brothers as we did.The mothers on the other side,unhappy about their husbands’drinking,joined hands to protest and become sisters too.

有人是因為和父母消費觀念不一樣，怕矛盾。

有人是因為完全不知道和父母怎么聊天，怕尷尬。

就算我們和父母待在一起，那又如何能讓父母開心，我們也自在呢？

我說：“要不然，我們組織一次帶著父母一起的旅行。他們年紀(jì)相仿，有共同話題。我們在一起也能互相照應(yīng)?！?/p>

二

但麻煩也很多。

一是父母根本不愿意在中國傳統(tǒng)節(jié)日跑出去旅行。那行吧，我們就大年初一出發(fā)，起碼在家過了除夕。二是我們的父母彼此都不認(rèn)識，肯定會很尷尬，而且他們也不熟悉我們的這群朋友。

那就讓他們熟起來。這是一個浩大費時的工程，但既然決定去做了，就不要怕浪費時間。

之后，每次有朋友的父母來北京，朋友們就一起出現(xiàn)，一起吃飯、喝酒、聊天。父母們看到自己的子女有這么一幫有趣、性格好、工作努力的朋友，自然也放心了。

漸漸地，我們都與彼此的父母熟悉起來。

那就到了第二步，找個假期帶著父母一起去朋友的家鄉(xiāng)串門，先讓少數(shù)父母熟悉起來。

我爸特喜歡喝酒，于是約我的朋友Will 帶著他喜歡喝酒的爸爸來到我的家鄉(xiāng)。一開始Will 爸爸還非常拘謹(jǐn)，拿著分酒器把白酒倒在小白酒杯里要跟我爸爸客氣地敬杯酒。我爸拿起面前的分酒器對Will 爸爸說：“嗨，老弟，我們第一次見，就直接干了分酒器吧。感情深，一口悶；感情淺，舔一舔。”Will 爸爸哪里見過這種順口溜，一愣，然后毫無意識地干了分酒器里的白酒。

Will’s father said,“Tongtong’s father,I have another good friend,Dada’s father,who is also fond of drinking and loyal to friends.Next time let’s drink with him together.”

Dada clapped and echoed,“Next time you drink,I’ll bring an anti-alcohol dose.It will make you feel more comfortable after drinking.”

It took about two years for the four friends’ parents to get to know us,and for all our parents to get acquainted and familiar with each other.

Last year,we formed a tour

group of eight elders and four youths to go swimming on a tropical island.

This year,we went to a hot spring in the Snowy Mountain.Snow is quite common in Chenzhou City,Hunan,so my parents said,“We know enough about snow,but we will follow your decision.”

我媽媽和Will 媽媽在旁邊急死了。

我爸拍著Will 爸爸的肩膀說：“好兄弟，這才夠意思?！?/p>

沒一會兒，兩位爸爸的臉開始泛紅，我和Will 對視一眼，妥了妥了，他倆已經(jīng)成為朋友了，而兩位媽媽因為很氣兩位爸爸喝酒，也瞬間成了姐妹。

Will 爸爸說：“同同爸爸，我還有一個好朋友，達(dá)達(dá)爸爸，很喜歡喝酒，也很講義氣，下次我們約他一起喝?！?/p>

達(dá)達(dá)在旁邊鼓掌，說：“下次你們喝，我給你們準(zhǔn)備解酒藥，喝了頭不疼?！?/p>

When we went out of the hotel,it was snowing heavily,blanketing the ground.When she caught the sight of it,my mother got excited and exclaimed,“Wow! I’ve never seen such heavy snow in my entire life!”

“Mom,go play in the snow,and I’ll take a beautiful picture for you.”

My mother ran merrily to lie down in the snow and began to pose.I had never seen my mother so ecstatic before.Suddenly I stopped taking a picture.Instead,I switched to video mode to record the moment—my mother looked so overjoyed and childlike.Now I always habitually lie to her that I will take good pictures of her while making videos instead.

I often say to her,“Mom,you would look prettier if you jump high in the snow.Come on,jump...”

Sharing the same hotel room with my parents,I came to know when my parents usually got up.My father was the first to go to the bathroom in the morning,and my mother spoke loudly after waking up,unaware that I was still asleep.I used to think my father snored so loudly that I got up in the middle of the night to shake him.But this time I found that his snoring was wholly drowned out by my mother’s.

It has turned out that my mother was the real snorer when she’s exhausted.

They even didn’t know how to use a smart toilet or how to tell a hotel shampoo from a shower gel.

They would get up to turn offthe lights,not knowing that there was a switch at the bedside.

They were afraid to eat the free snacks in the room for fear of being overcharged.

My mom had a habit of traveling with a portable washbasin and a portable hanger,because every day she had to wash her own lingerie,but she couldn’t find a place to dry it.

I said,“Mom,don’t bring the washbasin when you go traveling.Just bring a few more clothes.It’s easier to wash them when you return home.”

On the plane back to Beijing,

Will said,“I’m not sleepy at all now.Looking through the photos we took,I just feel that every moment we caught was filled with happiness and every shot was so precious.”

Our parents have gone from a little awkwardness in the first year to full relaxation and even over-indulging this year,from a lack of understanding of the outside world and a sense of self-preservation resulting from tension,to the point where every question and action came naturally.Thinking about that,it’s really fun to see how curious and rebellious they’ve become,like a child who has entered a new world.The tension,impatience,and quarrels in our family of three diminished a lot on the journey.It costs a man their whole life to learn,grow up,and respect each other.

大概花了兩年時間，四個朋友的父母認(rèn)識了我們，父母之間也相繼認(rèn)識。

三

八大四小旅行團(tuán)是去年開始組建的，一起去了熱帶海島游泳。

今年我們選了雪山泡溫泉。郴州常見到雪，所以爸爸媽媽說：“雪有什么好看的，但你們要去就去吧。”

等我們到了酒店，一出門，真的是漫天飄雪，一片一片跟鵝毛似的，我媽瞬間大喊起來：“哇，我第一次見到這么大的雪啊?！?/p>

“媽，你去雪地里玩雪，我給你抓拍一張開心的照片?！?/p>

我媽就開心地跑到雪地里躺著，開始擺拍。我從來沒見過媽媽那么開心的樣子，突然就舍不得拍照了，默默地把拍照模式切換成視頻模式，想把這一刻記錄下來——我媽真傻，但真的好可愛。

后來我就上癮了，總是騙她說給她拍好看的照片，其實只是為了拍視頻。

比如我跟她說：“媽媽，你在雪地里跳起來會非常好看，來，跳一個……”

這些天，和父母同住一個房間，我才知道父母一般都是幾點起床，起床后我爸第一個去洗手間，我媽起來之后立刻大聲說話，完全不在意我還在熟睡。以前覺得我爸鼾聲很大，我半夜爬起來去搖他，現(xiàn)在發(fā)現(xiàn)他的鼾聲完全被我媽的蓋過了……

原來，我媽只要一累，就會打鼾。

Seeing our parents at this time,we naturally recollect our childhood,as if we would lend more time to each other in the circle of life.

I suddenly became scared that they were getting older and older.

But when I saw their excitement and exhilaration when facing new experiences,I knew they were not old,but just a little bored being in the same place for so long.

If I lend them some time,they will age slowly.

(FromRemaining Independent,Beijing United Publishing Company.Translation:Qing Run)

他們并不知道如何使用智能馬桶，也分不清楚酒店的洗發(fā)水和沐浴露。

他們會爬起來去關(guān)每個角落的燈，不知道床頭有一個總控開關(guān)。

他們不敢吃房間里贈送的點心，怕多收費。

我媽旅行喜歡帶著便攜式臉盆、便攜式衣架，因為每天她都要清洗自己的貼身衣物，卻找不到地方晾。

我說：“媽，以后出來不要帶這些臉盆了，你多帶幾件換的就行，回去再洗，更簡單?！?/p>

四

回北京的飛機(jī)上，Will 說：“在飛機(jī)上無困意，翻看了每一張照片，感覺抓拍到的瞬間都是真開心，欣慰每一幕的珍貴?！?/p>

想想父母從第一年的偶爾局促到今年的松弛，甚至小心放肆，從對外面世界的不了解或因緊張產(chǎn)生的時常不屑的自我保護(hù)，到現(xiàn)在每一個舉動和疑問都自然隨性，像兒時的我們剛剛接觸新世界時的好奇和反抗，真有意思。

三口之家留在生活里的瑣碎與不耐煩、遺留在旅途中的嗆聲，也慢慢柔和了很多。人一生都在學(xué)著長大，了解自己，彼此尊重，沒有任何一刻是做到足夠好的，所以需要更多時間去提醒、磨合，不斷接近更好。

看到此時的父母，想到兒時的我們，猶如在輪回中互相多借些時間。

曾經(jīng)，我害怕他們老了。

但當(dāng)我看見他們對新世界興奮的樣子，我知道他們沒老，只是在一樣的環(huán)境中待久了，麻木了。

還給他們一些時間，他們能老得更慢一點。

（摘自《一個人就一個人》北京聯(lián)合出版公司）