一包藍(lán)莓泡泡糖

浙江 胡君祥

人生的道路是曲折的，誰都可能會犯錯。 錯誤可能是下一次錯誤的開始，也可能是成功的基石，它會帶給你失敗，更會給予你成功。

題材生活體裁記敘文文章詞數(shù) 難度 建議用時339 ★★★ 6 分鐘

“Time to go, Jacob! ” Mom called. Fouryear-old Jacob hopped off his bed and ran downstairs. “What are we going to buy? Can I help you?” It was Jacob's turn to go shopping with Mom, and he was full of questions.

“We are going to buy groceries.” Jacob smiled as Mom helped him into his seat in the car and buckled the seat belt. This was going to be great! Mom pushed the grocery cart up and down the aisles（走廊）while Jacob held the shopping list. He helped organize the groceries and got to choose if they got red apples or yellow apples, and red potatoes or white potatoes. When they finished getting the items on the list, Jacob helped push the heavy cart up to the checkout line. He watched as the manager printed a receipt for what Mom had bought. Suddenly, Jacob noticed that the shelves he was standing by were full of candy and gum. Jacob saw a package of blueberry bubble gum and knew it tasted really good. He did have some money in his money jar at home, but he did not carry it right now.So he put the package in his pocket without paying for it.

When they got home, they carried the bags of groceries inside and put them on the kitchen counter. When Mom finally found Jacob's package of gum, she asked him carefully,“Did you take that gum from the store?”

Jacob nodded his head slowly. Mom looked sad. “Jacob, when we do something that is wrong—like taking gum from the store without paying for it—it's stealing. We need to be honest.”

“What shall we do next?” Jacob asked.

“First, we need to know that we have done something wrong and feel sorry about it. Then we need to fix the problem the best we can.Since you already opened the package of gum and ate some of it, we can't give it back to the store. What do you think we should do?”

Language Study

Useful sentence patterns

1. It was Jacob's turn to go shopping with Mom.

分析：It be one's turn to do... 為固定句型，意為“輪到某人做……”。

2. He did have some money in his money jar at home.

分析：本句中did是助動詞，用于加強(qiáng)語氣。

Reading Check

閱讀上面的文章，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。注意：

1. 所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2. 續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好。

Paragraph 1:

Jacob said, “I have some pocket money. I could go back to the store and pay for the gum.”

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Paragraph 2:

“What are you trying to tell me?” asked the manager, surprised.____________________

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寫作導(dǎo)引

一、語篇研讀

讀后續(xù)寫要求續(xù)寫的部分在情節(jié)和邏輯方面與原文高度契合。 為此，我們必須在掌握文本大意和敘述意圖的前提下，分析所給文章的情境模式。

分析記敘文的情境模式，就需要關(guān)注5個“W”，即who、what、when、where、why。 我們在閱讀時要把握故事的情節(jié)線，分析故事的起因、開始和發(fā)展，并歸納出故事的主要矛盾，根據(jù)文章中已知的信息，如情感的線索、行為的線索、時間的線索、空間的線索等來推斷將要發(fā)生的事情，合理構(gòu)思續(xù)寫部分的情節(jié)。

elements 分析：所給短文的情境模式 發(fā)展：續(xù)寫短文的情境模式 說明：如此構(gòu)思的理由Basic Who Mom, her four-year-old son Jacob and the manager What Mom, her four-year-old son Jacob and the manager Jacob took away a package of blueberry bubble gum from a store without paying for it.Mom took Jacob to the store to make an apology and pay for all the gum.After Mom returned home and found Jacob's mistake Where At home and in a store In the store Why Having no money, Jacob stole a package of blueberry bubble gum.When When Mom and her son bought groceries Mom loved little Jacob. She wanted to make Jacob realize his mistake and also protect his selfesteem.Mom thought it wrong to steal and they should be honest.

二、深度思考

基于原文和續(xù)寫段落首句提供的信息，采用圍繞中心提問的方法，構(gòu)思要續(xù)寫的故事情節(jié)，這個過程一般分為四步。

第一步，根據(jù)已給出的文本判斷文章的立意。

根據(jù)所給出的情節(jié)“四歲的雅各布隨媽媽一起購物時偷了商店的一包藍(lán)莓泡泡糖”可推斷出本文的立意應(yīng)是“當(dāng)我們犯了錯誤時要知錯就改”。

第二步，根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段所給出的段首句倒推續(xù)寫第一段應(yīng)包括什么內(nèi)容。

分析第二段的段首句可知，續(xù)寫第一段要寫“雅各布隨媽媽再次來到商店找到經(jīng)理”，這樣才能確保續(xù)寫的兩段是相銜接的。

第三步，圍繞續(xù)寫第一段所給出的段首句以及上面的分析進(jìn)行提問構(gòu)思：

（1）What did Jacob's mother say when she heard what he had said?

（2）What did Jacob do after listening to his mother?

（3）What did Jacob and his mother do with his pocket money?

第四步，圍繞續(xù)寫第二段所給出的段首句進(jìn)行提問構(gòu)思：

（1）How did Jacob answer the manager's question?

（2）What did Jacob do after answering the manager's question?

（3）How did Jacob feel in the end?

三、潤色成篇

在續(xù)寫的過程中要注意情節(jié)連貫并確保各部分內(nèi)容相銜接， 即：1. 兩段的續(xù)寫與所給短文的銜接；2. 每段的續(xù)寫與續(xù)寫段段首句之間的銜接；3. 續(xù)寫的兩段之間的銜接。 同時要注意語言風(fēng)格的一致和語法、句型，以及所用詞的準(zhǔn)確性。 比如，刻畫人物形象時運(yùn)用恰當(dāng)?shù)男稳菰~使其栩栩如生；描寫人物心理活動時使用一些動詞或副詞使其細(xì)微深入。