You’ve got questions? she’s got answers

What do you think about the US elections？ Its all people talk about these days.

Political Pete

Youve come to the right person： No one knows more about US politics than me. Just like the current US president， who is nicknamed 懂王 （d6ngw1ng， “king of knowledge”） in China， I am the 懂后 （d6ngh7u， “queen of knowledge”）. Some people would say Im very， very 聰明 （c4ngm！ng， intelligent）. Otherwise， why do you 無(wú)聊人士 （w%li1o r9nsh#， bored people） keep asking me all these 爛問(wèn)題 （l3nw-nt！， stupid questions）？ I have a better idea： Why dont they just find a good 總統(tǒng) （z6ngt6ng， president） and hang on to him to save all that trouble？ Forget about the Constitution; people have to learn to 與時(shí)俱進(jìn) （y^sh！-j&j#n， advance with the times）， and dare to make change， right？ Yes you can！

Did you get anything from this years “Double 11” online shopping festival？ I have so many packages coming！

Shopaholic Susie

As a 傳統(tǒng)的 （chu1nt6ng de， traditional） person， I absolutely 討厭 （t2oy3n， hate） it！ Another perfectly good holiday ruined by 消費(fèi)主義 （xi`of-izh^y#， consumerism）！ Double 11 should be a 單純的 （d`nch%n de， innocent） made-up festival for single people to reflect on their 失敗 （sh～b3i， failure） in finding a partner and drown themselves in 自憐 （z#li1n， self-pity）. They should stay up late because they cant stop 哭泣 （k$q#， crying）， not because they want to snatch the best deals at midnight. Plus， so many of those sales are just 糊弄人 （h&nong r9n， screwing people around）. How am I supposed to know the difference between 定金 （d#ngj～n， down payment） and 訂金 （d#ngj～n， deposit）？ All those discounts are more complicated than rocket science！ For every 尾款人 （w0iku2nr9n， people who have balance due） who is fooled by these shenanigans， I say 自求多福 （z#qi% du4f%， youre on your own）！

Got questions for our Agony Ayi？ Send them to agonyayi@theworldofchinese.com