幽默小故事

周碩

Old Age

老年

An old man went to the doctor. He had problems with a terrible pain in his leg.

“I am afraid that its just old age，” said the doctor. “I cant do anything about it.”

“That cant be true！” said the old man， “You just dont know what it is.”

“How can you know that I am wrong？” asked the doctor.

“Well， its easy，” the old man said. “My other leg is fine， and its the exactly1 same age！”

一位老人去看醫(yī)生，他的腿痛得很厲害。

醫(yī)生說(shuō)：“恐怕只是年紀(jì)大了的原因。我對(duì)此無(wú)能為力?！?/p>

“這不可能！”老人說(shuō)，“你就是不知道是什么問(wèn)題?！?/p>

“你怎么知道我錯(cuò)了？”問(wèn)醫(yī)生。

老人說(shuō)：“這很容易，我的另一條腿是好的，兩條腿的年齡是完全一樣的！”

How to Stop Smoking

如何戒煙

Dave and Kevin are at a New Years Eve party， and Dave asks Kevin for a cigarette2.

“Didnt you quit3？！”

“I am in the process4 of quitting. Right now， I am in the middle of phase5 one.”

“Phase one？”

“Yeah，” laughs Dave， “I just stopped buying them.”

戴夫和凱文參加除夕晚會(huì)，他問(wèn)凱文要一根香煙吸。

“你不是戒煙了嗎？！”

“我正在戒?，F(xiàn)在，我正處于第一階段?！?/p>

“第一階段？”

“是的，”戴夫笑著說(shuō)，“我才剛剛停止購(gòu)買(mǎi)?！?/p>

Little Johnny and the Teacher

小約翰尼和老師

“Johnny， give me a sentence that starts with I.”

“I is...”

“No， Little Johnny. Always say I am.”

“All right，...I am the ninth letter of the alphabet6.”

“約翰尼，用‘I開(kāi)頭造一個(gè)句子。”

“‘I是……”

“不，小約翰尼，‘I要搭配‘a(chǎn)m。”

“好吧……‘我（I）是字母表的第九個(gè)字母?！?/p>

Singing

唱歌

Xiao Ming likes to sing. Every time he begins to sing， his mother goes outside.

Xiao Ming is unhappy about this.

“Dont you like my singing？” he asks his mother.

“Of course I do，” she says. “I just want to make sure that the neighbours know that Im not beating7 you.”

小明喜歡唱歌。每當(dāng)他開(kāi)始唱歌時(shí)，他媽媽就會(huì)走出家門(mén)。

小明有點(diǎn)不高興。

“你不喜歡我的歌聲嗎？”他問(wèn)母親。

“當(dāng)然喜歡?！彼f(shuō)，“我只想讓鄰居知道我剛剛沒(méi)打你?！?/p>

The Longest and the Shortest

最長(zhǎng)的和最短的是什么？

A teacher asks one of his students， “What is the longest and what is the shortest？”

The student answers， “The last several minutes of a class is the longest， while the last several minutes of an exam is the shortest.”

一位老師問(wèn)他的一個(gè)學(xué)生：“最長(zhǎng)的是什么，最短的又是什么？”

該學(xué)生回答：“一節(jié)課的最后幾分鐘是最長(zhǎng)的，而考試的最后幾分鐘是最短的?！?/p>

（英語(yǔ)原文選自：jokesinlevels.com & wenda.tianya.cn）