English Jokes

廣西南寧市友愛小學(xué) 吳 靜 編譯

1 Lunch is on Me!

午餐就指望我了！

Question:What did one plate say to the other?

Answer:Lunch is on Me!

問：一個盤子對另一個盤子說了什么？

答：午餐就指望我了！

Notes:

plate n.盤子

the other 另一個（人）

2 An exam paper

一張試卷

Teacher:What’s black and white all over and difficult?

Student:An exam paper!

老師：什么東西整個都是黑白分明，而且很難？

學(xué)生：試卷！

Notes:

all over 整個

exam paper 試卷

3 A smart answer

一個機智的回答

Teacher:How didColumbus’men sleep on their ships?

Student:With their eyesshut!

老師：哥倫布的手下們是怎么睡在船上的？

學(xué)生：閉著眼睛睡覺！

Notes:

Columbus 哥倫布（意大利航海家、探險家） shut v.關(guān)；閉

4 Can I go out to play?

我可以出去玩嗎？

Child:Mom,can I go out to play?

Mom:What? With those holes in your pants?

Child:(looking down at his pants) No,with the kids next door...

孩子：媽媽，我可以出去玩嗎？

媽媽：什么？你帶著褲子上的那些洞出去玩？

孩子：（低頭看著他的褲子）不，帶著隔壁的孩子們……

Notes:

這個笑話的“笑點”在哪里呢？就在介詞“with”的意思表達上。介詞“with”在不同的情況下有不同的意思。在句子“With those holes in your pants?”中，它的意思是“帶有……”；而在句子“with the kids next door”中，它的意思是“與……一起”。

5 Why do dogs run in circles?

狗為什么要繞圈跑？

Question:Why do dogs runin circles?

Answer:Because it’s hard to runin squares!

問：狗為什么要繞圈跑？

答：因為很難以正方形來跑！

Notes:

circle n.圓圈；圓

in circles 呈圓形

square n.正方形

in squares 呈正方形

6 An ideal excuse

一個理想的借口

Teacher:Where is yourhomework?

Pupil:Ilostitfightingthiskidwho said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.

老師：你的家庭作業(yè)在哪里？

學(xué)生：一個孩子說你不是學(xué)校最好的老師，我和他吵架時把家庭作業(yè)弄丟了。

Notes:

ideal adj.理想的

excuse n.借口；理由

homework n.家庭作業(yè)

lost v.（lose的過去式）丟；遺

fight v.打斗

kid n.小孩

7 Why aren’t you doing very well in history?

為什么你的歷史成績不好？

Miss White doesn’t like Bob,because Bob does notdo well inhistory.One day,Miss White asks Bob,“Bob,why aren’t you doing very well in history?”

Bob answers,“Because you keepasking aboutthings thathappenedbefore Iwas born!”

懷特老師不喜歡鮑勃，因為鮑勃的歷史成績不好。一天，懷特老師問鮑勃：“鮑勃，為什么你的歷史成績不好？”

鮑勃回答說：“因為你一直在問我出生前發(fā)生的事情！”

Notes:

do well in 在……方面做得好

ask about 問關(guān)于……

happen v.發(fā)生

be born 出生

8 I can’t go to school today

我今天不能去上學(xué)

Son:I can’t go to school today.

Father:Why not?

Son:I don’tfeel well.

Father:Where don’t you feel well?

Son:In school!

兒子：我今天不能去上學(xué)。

父親：為什么不呢？

兒子：我覺得不舒服。

父親：你哪里不舒服？

兒子：在學(xué)校！

Notes:

Why not? 干嗎不呢？

feel well 感覺不錯

9 My son has a bad cold

我兒子得了重感冒

Bill is anaughty pupilin Class 3,Grade 4.He is verylazy.Hegets up latethis morning.He doesn’t want to go to school,so hecallsthe schoolsecretary.

On the phone,Bill says,“My sonhas a bad coldand he won’tbe able tocome to school today.”

The school Secretaryfeelsthat a boy is speaking to him,not a man.So he asks,“Who is this,please?”

Bill says,“This is my father speaking,sir!”

比爾是四年級三班一個淘氣的學(xué)生。他很懶。他今天早上起得很晚。他不想上學(xué)，所以打電話給學(xué)校秘書。

在電話里，比爾說：“我兒子得了重感冒，他今天不能來上學(xué)了?！?/p>

學(xué)校秘書覺得是一個男孩在和他說話，而不是一個男人。于是，他問道：“請問你是誰？”

比爾說：“這是我父親在打電話，先生！”

Notes:

naughty adj.調(diào)皮的

pupil n.小學(xué)生

lazy adj.懶惰的

get up 起床

late adv.遲了

call v.打電話

secretary n.秘書

have a bad cold 得了重感冒

be able to 能夠……

feel v.感覺；感到

10 The world is changing every day

世界天天在變

“It’sclear”said the teacher,“That you haven’tstudiedyourgeographywell.What’s your excuse?”

Tom said,“Well,my dad says the world ischangingevery day.So Idecidedtowait untilitsettles down!”

“很清楚，”老師說，“你的地理學(xué)得不好。你的理由是什么？”

湯姆說道：“嗯，我爸爸說世界每天都在變化。所以我決定等到它安定下來再學(xué)！”

Notes:

clear adj.清楚；明顯

studied v.（study的過去式）學(xué)習(xí)

geography n.地理

change v.改變

decide v.決定

wait v.等；等待

until conj.直到

settle down 安定下來

11 A proud father

驕傲的父親

Mr.Jackson thinks that his son Arthur is verysmart.He is always proud of his son,and he isnevertired oftelling how smart his son Arthur was.

One day,an old friend comes to his home.He tells his friend that his son is very,very clever.The old friend says to him,“Can you give me anexample?”

“No problem,”says Mr.Jackson.“Arthur couldrecitetheGettysburg Addresswhen he was ten years old.Lincolndidn’t say it until he was fifty years old!”

杰克遜先生認為他的兒子亞瑟很聰明。他總是為他的兒子感到驕傲，總是不厭其煩地說他兒子亞瑟有多聰明。

一天，一位老朋友到他家做客。他告訴他的朋友他兒子非常非常聰明。老朋友對他說：“你能給我舉個例子嗎？”

“沒問題，”杰克遜先生說，“亞瑟10歲時就能背誦《葛底斯堡演說》。林肯直到50歲才這么說！”

Notes:

smart adj.聰明的

never adv.從不；絕不

tired of 對……厭煩

example n.例子

no problem 沒有問題

recite v.背誦

Gettysburg Address 葛斯底堡演說

Lincoln （美國總統(tǒng)）林肯

12 What Time It Is?

幾點鐘了?

Nancy and Mary were two little girls.They were classmates and good friends.One afternoon,they were playing together in a park when Nancy said,“Mary,Iwonderwhat time it is?”

“Well,it can’t be four o’clock,”repliedMary.

“Are you sure,Mary?”asked Nancy.

“Of course,I am sure,”said Mary.

“But how can you be so sure of the time?”asked Nancy.

“Because my mother said I was to be home by four o’clock and I’m not.”

南希和瑪麗是兩個小女孩。她們既是同學(xué)又是好朋友。一天下午，她們在公園里玩，南希說：“瑪麗，我想知道現(xiàn)在幾點了？”

“好吧，不可能是四點鐘。”瑪麗回答說。

“你確定嗎，瑪麗？”南希問。

“當(dāng)然，我肯定?！爆旣愓f。

“但是你怎么能這么確定時間呢？”南希問。

“因為我媽媽說我要在四點鐘以前回家，而我現(xiàn)在還沒有回家?！?/p>

Notes:

wonder v.想知道

replied v.（reply的過去式）答復(fù)