偷熱狗的賊

景一

The whole family clustered around the computer screen， oohing1. The face on the shelters website was irresistible2： a beautiful， white-and-liver Pointer Hound mix with big floppy ears and the saddest， most expressive brown eyes wed ever seen on a dog. Under the photo it said， “Jerome loves hot dogs.”

全家人都聚集在電腦屏幕旁，發(fā)出“喔”的聲音。收容所網(wǎng)站上那張臉令人無法抗拒：這是一只漂亮的、白色和肝色相間的波音達(dá)獵犬，它有著松軟的大耳朵，還有我們在狗身上見過的最憂郁、最富有表現(xiàn)力的棕色眼睛。照片下面寫著：“杰羅姆喜歡熱狗?！?/p>

Our son Patrick and his girlfriend were home for Thanksgiving weekend. It didnt take long to convince the whole family to visit the shelter. We called ahead so they were ready for us. We walked in together， five adults coming through the door at the same time， but Jerome knew which human he wanted. He walked right up to Patrick， put his paws on his shoulders and licked his face. It was love at first sight—on both sides. We didnt even need the hot dogs the shelter staff had cut up to help us get Jeromes attention.

我們的兒子帕特里克和他的女朋友在家過感恩節(jié)周末。沒過多久全家就被說服了去收容所。我們提前打了電話，所以他們做好了準(zhǔn)備。我們一起走進(jìn)去，五個成年人同時走進(jìn)門，但杰羅姆知道它喜歡的是哪一個人。它徑直走到帕特里克跟前，把爪子放在他肩膀上并舔著他的臉。這是“一見鐘情”——對于雙方都是。我們甚至不需要收容所的工作人員切好的熱狗來幫助引起杰羅姆的注意。

The shelter had a waiting period， but Patrick convinced them to hurry along the process. He had to be back at his job in Philadelphia on Monday. After a quick reference check with our vet3， they agreed. So on Sunday Pat packed the trunk of his girlfriends car with their luggage—including a three-pound box of the best hometown hot dogs （the ones all locals bring back from every visit home）. They made Jerome comfy4 on a blanket in the back seat and waved a happy goodbye as they pulled out of our driveway.

收容所有一段等候時間，但帕特里克說服他們趕快完成這一流程，他星期一必須回到費城工作。在我們的獸醫(yī)進(jìn)行了一次快速參考檢查后，他們同意了。因此，到了周日，帕特里克把行李打包好放在女朋友的車后備箱，其中包括一盒3磅重的家鄉(xiāng)熱狗（當(dāng)?shù)厝嗣看位丶亦l(xiāng)都會帶一些回去）。他們讓杰羅姆舒適地呆在后座的毯子上，然后在駛離我們的車道時，向我們揮手道別。

Patrick and Renee headed south on I-81 for Philly， and marveling at how well-behaved and quiet their new charge appeared to be. It wasnt until the Allentown rest stop， about two hours down the road， that they found out why.

帕特里克和芮妮在81號州際公路上朝南開往費城，他們對新伙伴的良好表現(xiàn)和安靜感到驚奇。直到順著路開了兩小時左右，在阿倫鎮(zhèn)的休息站，他們才知道原因。

Jerome had been hard at work， chewing through the back seat—upholstery5， stuffing， trunk wall and all—until he reached his prize. Every one of those hot dogs was gone， and Jerome had the biggest smile on his face.

杰羅姆一直忙著在后座上咬東西——座套、填充物、后備箱壁等等——直到它拿到了戰(zhàn)利品。所有的熱狗都不見了，杰羅姆的臉上露出了最燦爛的笑容。

Patrick was proud of his best friends ingenuity， and he ended up having plenty to be proud about over the coming years. Wed eagerly await his phone calls home to hear about Jeromes latest heist6. He devoured7 whole roasts， loaves8 of bread and thawing9 pork chops， pushing the wrappers under the stove as if Pat wouldnt notice the missing meat.

帕特里克為他最好的朋友的聰明才智感到驕傲，在接下來的幾年里，他終于有了很多值得驕傲的事情。我們熱切地等著他打電話回家，那樣就能聽到杰羅姆最近犯下的劫案。它狼吞虎咽地吃掉整塊烤肉、大塊的面包和解凍的豬排，把包裝紙推到爐子下面，就好像帕特里克不會注意到丟失的肉一樣。

In his most celebrated caper， Jerome ate an entire pepperoni10 pizza while Patrick was tipping the delivery driver. He closed up the box and nudged11 it back into the center of the coffee table as if it had been delivered empty. It was almost the perfect crime. Only his pizza breath gave him away.

杰羅姆最有名的罪行就是在帕特里克給送貨司機(jī)小費的時候，吃了一整塊意大利辣香腸披薩。它合上盒子，輕輕地把它推回到咖啡桌的中央，就好像它在送來的時候就是空的。這幾乎是完美的犯罪。只有滿嘴的披薩味讓它露出了馬腳。

In Jeromes later years， Patrick moved back to our town， and his dad and I helped care for the old guy. Because of his aching hips， Jerome had a hard time getting to sleep and wanted someone near him until he dozed off. When Pat was at work， I took to singing a lullaby12 with lyrics adapted just for Jerome. Each verse would have a different one of his favorite foods， “Dream of pork chops，” Id croon. Or Brie cheese， pizza， biscuits...But his favorite verse， the one that always got Jerome to doze off， was： “Dream of hot dogs， dream of hot dogs. Sleep.”

在杰羅姆的晚年，帕特里克搬回我們鎮(zhèn)上，他父親和我?guī)兔φ疹欉@位“老人”。因為杰羅姆的臀部疼痛，很難入睡，它希望有人在身邊，直到它打起瞌睡。帕特里克去工作時，我就開始唱為杰羅姆改編過歌詞的搖籃曲。每段歌里都會有它最喜歡的食物。我會低吟：“夢到豬排”。或者布里干酪、披薩、餅干……但杰羅姆最喜歡的能讓它打瞌睡的一段就是：“夢到熱狗，夢到熱狗?？焖??！?/p>

Jerome lived to the ripe old age13 of sixteen. He proudly wore scars from a fight to the death with an opossum14， lost most of his teeth， survived a congenital15 heart murmur and ached in nearly every joint in his body. But he never lost his love for food...or his trickster ways.

杰羅姆活到了十六歲的高齡。它驕傲地帶著一個與負(fù)鼠戰(zhàn)斗幾乎死掉的傷疤，失去了大部分牙齒，在先天性心雜音中幸存下來，身體幾乎每個關(guān)節(jié)都在疼痛。但它從來沒有失去對食物的熱愛……或是放棄它的詭計。