Students Need Exercise

陳傳光 男，38歲，在江蘇省連云港市羅陽(yáng)中學(xué)任教，中學(xué)高級(jí)教師、江蘇省教育學(xué)會(huì)會(huì)員、連云港市優(yōu)秀教育園丁、贛榆區(qū)先進(jìn)教育工作者，從事教育教學(xué)工作15年；有多篇論文在各期刊上發(fā)表并獲獎(jiǎng)；曾獲全國(guó)中學(xué)生新課程英語(yǔ)語(yǔ)言能力競(jìng)賽優(yōu)秀輔導(dǎo)教師一等獎(jiǎng)、英語(yǔ)基本功大賽市一等獎(jiǎng)。

Many students are short of exercise in their spare time now. On the one hand， they have too much homework to do after school. On the other hand， they probable① have so many after-school classes such as piano classes. So there is no time for them to do exercise.

Less exercise is harm② to students. They are growing quickly， so they need to do more exercise to keep healthy. Even though they are too busy with their schoolwork， they still need to play sports to make their bodies strong. I think they had better to exercise③ in their daily life. First， they can take a walk after dinner on weekdays. After all， its bad for them to do homework at once after dinner. Second， they can go swimming on weekends. Swimming is a very good sport but④ it doesnt need long time.

All in all， students need to do exercise in their spare time. The more exercise they do， the better it is for them.

江蘇省連云港市羅陽(yáng)中學(xué)九（1）班 豐凱強(qiáng)

1. 優(yōu)點(diǎn)：

小作者首先概述了學(xué)生缺少運(yùn)動(dòng)甚至不運(yùn)動(dòng)的原因；接下來(lái)，小作者闡述了缺少運(yùn)動(dòng)甚至不運(yùn)動(dòng)對(duì)學(xué)生的影響并針對(duì)這種現(xiàn)象提出了合理的建議；最后，在文章的結(jié)尾處，小作者用兩句話總結(jié)全文。整篇文章條理清晰，流暢精煉，是值得同學(xué)們借鑒的一篇范文。

2. 需要修改的地方：

① probable改為probably。此處修飾動(dòng)詞have，要使用副詞probably。

② harm改為harmful。be動(dòng)詞后接形容詞，be harmful to相當(dāng)于do harm to，意為“對(duì)……有害”。

③ to exercise改為exercise。had better do sth.意為“最好做某事”。

④ but改為and。此處上下文是并列關(guān)系，不是轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系。句意：游泳是一項(xiàng)非常好的運(yùn)動(dòng)，并且不需要花很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間。

3. 評(píng)分：

按江蘇省連云港市中考英語(yǔ)作文滿分25分的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，本文修改前可得20分。