如何建立自信

Grace Fleming 金紳

How many times have you hesitated1 or kept quiet when you knew the answer to a question？ Then how did it feel when somebody else answered with the right answer and received praise？

Its not unusual for teens to avoid answering questions in front of others because theyre too shy or too afraid of being wrong.

Sometimes a lack of self-confidence comes merely from a lack of experience.

You may not feel so confident about answering questions out loud， or acting in a stage play if youve never done it before. These feelings will change as you grow and experience more things in your life.

Sometimes， however， a lack of self-confidence can come from feelings of insecurity2. Sometimes we have bad feelings about ourselves and we bury them deep inside. When we do this， we tend not to assert3 ourselves and take chances because we fear our “secrets” will be revealed4.

If your lack of self-confidence comes from bad feelings you harbor about yourself， you are also experiencing something perfectly normal and common. But its a normal feeling that you can and should change！

當(dāng)你知道一個(gè)問題的答案時(shí)，你有多少次猶豫不決或保持沉默？那么，當(dāng)別人回答正確并受到表揚(yáng)時(shí)，你又是什么感覺呢？

對于青少年來說，回避在別人面前回答問題的情況并不罕見，這是因?yàn)樗麄兲π呋蛱ε鲁鲥e。

有時(shí)缺乏自信只源于缺乏經(jīng)驗(yàn)。

如果你以前從未做過，那你可能就會對大聲回答問題或在舞臺劇中表演沒那么自信。隨著你的成長，以及生活體驗(yàn)的增加，這些感覺將會有所改變。

然而，有時(shí)缺乏自信可能源于不安全感。有時(shí)我們自己感覺很糟糕，但卻把它們埋藏在內(nèi)心深處。當(dāng)我們這樣做時(shí)，我們并不傾向于彰顯自我和冒險(xiǎn)，因?yàn)槲覀兒ε挛覀兊摹懊孛堋睍唤衣丁?/p>

如果你缺乏自信是源于自我感覺很糟糕，那么你正在經(jīng)歷的是一些非常正常和普通的事情。而你能夠并且應(yīng)該去改變這種感受！

Identify the Cause for Your Lack of Self-confidence

If you have a fear that people will see your shortcoming5， you will find it difficult to assert yourself. Your shortcoming may have to do with your looks， your size， your intelligence， your past， or your family experience.

In building self-confidence， your first goal is to develop a realistic understanding of your strengths and weaknesses. Youll have to take a difficult first step and look inside yourself to discover why you feel vulnerable6.

找出你缺乏自信的原因

如果你害怕別人看到你的短處，你會發(fā)現(xiàn)很難堅(jiān)持自己的觀點(diǎn)。你的短處可能和你的外表、體型、智力、過去或家庭經(jīng)歷有關(guān)。

在建立自信心時(shí)，你的首要目標(biāo)是對自己的長處和短處有一個(gè)現(xiàn)實(shí)的理解。你必須邁出艱難的第一步，審視自己的內(nèi)心，找出自己為什么感到脆弱的原因。

Face Your Fear Head-on

To get started on your self-exploration， go to a quiet and comfortable place and think about the things that make you feel bad about yourself.

It can be painful to think about the root of your bad feelings， but it is healthy to root out something that is hidden deep inside and to work through it.

Once you have found the root of your bad feelings， youll need to determine what you can do to change them. Should you change your eating habits？ Exercise？ Read a self-help book？ Any action you take—even the act of thinking about your problem—is a step toward getting it out in the open and eventually healing.

Once you have a full understanding of your problem， you will find that your fear decreases. When the fear goes away， the hesitation7 goes away and you can and will start asserting yourself more.

直面你的恐懼

為了開始探尋自我，去一個(gè)安靜舒適的地方，想想那些讓你對自己感覺不太好的事情。

思考自己糟糕情緒的根源可能是痛苦的，但是揪出某個(gè)隱藏在內(nèi)心的東西并努力克服它則有益于健康。

一旦你確定了糟糕情緒的根源，你就需要確定你能做些什么來改變它們。要改變你的飲食習(xí)慣嗎？要做鍛煉嗎？要讀一本勵志的書嗎？你所采取的任何行動——甚至是你反思自己的問題的行為——都是朝著敞開心扉并最終解決問題的方向邁出的一步。

一旦你完全理解了你的問題所在，你就會發(fā)現(xiàn)你的恐懼感減少了。當(dāng)恐懼退卻，猶豫消散，你就能夠而且將會開始表現(xiàn)得更加堅(jiān)定。

Celebrate Your Strengths

Its not enough to identify your weaknesses or your problem areas. You also have great aspects about yourself that you need to explore！You can start doing this by making a big list of things you have accomplished and the things you do well. Have you ever taken the time to explore your strengths？

You were born with some natural talent， whether you have discovered it or not.

Do you always make people laugh？ Are you artistic？ Can you organize things？ Do you remember names？

All of these traits8 are things that can become very valuable as you get older. They are skills that are absolutely essential in community organizations， in college， and on the job. If you can do any of them well， you have traits to cherish！

Once you have taken the two steps above， identifying your vulnerability9 and identifying your greatness， you will start feeling an increase in your confidence. You decrease your anxiety by facing your fears， and you start liking yourself better by celebrating your natural strengths.

贊美自己的長處

確定你的弱點(diǎn)或問題所在也還不夠。你也要探索自己好的方面！你可以從列出你已經(jīng)完成的事情和你做得好的事情開始。你有花時(shí)間去發(fā)掘過你的長處嗎？

不管你是否已經(jīng)發(fā)現(xiàn)，你天生就有某些天賦。

你總能讓人開懷大笑嗎？你有藝術(shù)天賦嗎？你能把事情安排得井井有條嗎？你記得住名字嗎？

所有這些特質(zhì)都會隨著年齡的增長而變得非常有價(jià)值。它們是在社區(qū)、大學(xué)和工作中都必不可少的技能。如果你擅長其中的任何一種，那么你就擁有值得珍惜的特質(zhì)！

一旦你采取了上述兩個(gè)步驟，認(rèn)識了你的弱點(diǎn)和你的長處，你會開始感覺信心在增加。你可以正視恐懼以減少你的焦慮，并贊美自己天生的長處讓自己喜歡自己更多一點(diǎn)。

Change Your Behavior

It is said that we can change our feelings by changing our behavior. For example， some studies have shown that we become happier if we walk around with a smile on our faces.

You can speed up your path to increased self-confidence by changing your behavior.

Try smiling more. This will help you fight off feelings of negativity.

Compliment10 others on their strengths. Youll find that other people will return the favor and compliment you back. We all like to hear good things about ourselves！

Exercise and get enough sleep. Both of these improve our moods. Youll feel better inside and outside！

Take time every night to plan for the next day. By planning ahead we avoid mistakes that make us feel bad about ourselves.

改變你的行為

據(jù)說我們可以通過改變自己的行為來改變自己的感覺。例如，一些研究表明，如果我們到處走動時(shí)面帶微笑，會變得更快樂。

你可以通過改變你的行為來更快地增強(qiáng)自信。

試著多微笑。這將有助于你消除負(fù)面情緒。

稱贊他人的長處。你會發(fā)現(xiàn)其他人會予以回報(bào)并恭維你。我們都喜歡聽到關(guān)于自己的好話！

鍛煉并保證充足的睡眠。這兩種行為都能改善我們的情緒。你會從內(nèi)到外都感覺更好！

每天晚上花點(diǎn)時(shí)間做好第二天的計(jì)劃。通過事先計(jì)劃，我們可以避免犯一些會讓我們自己感到不快的錯誤。

Use a Third Person Approach

There is an interesting study that shows that there may be a trick to meeting our goals more quickly. The trick？ Think about yourself in the third person as you evaluate your progress.

The study measured the progress in two groups of people who were attempting to make a positive change in their lives. The people in this study were divided into two groups. One group was encouraged to think in the first person. The second group was encouraged to think of their progress from an outsiders point of view.

Interestingly， the participants who thought about themselves from an outsiders perspective enjoyed a faster path to improvement.

As you go through the process of improving your self-image and increasing your self-confidence， try to think of yourself as a separate person. Picture yourself as a stranger who is on a path toward positive change.

Be sure to celebrate this persons accomplishments11！

從旁觀者的角度看待問題

有一項(xiàng)有趣的研究顯示，也許有一種方法可以更快地達(dá)到我們的目標(biāo)。訣竅是什么？當(dāng)你評價(jià)你自己的進(jìn)步時(shí)，從旁觀者的角度來思考一下。

這項(xiàng)研究測量了兩組試圖在生活中做出積極改變的人的進(jìn)步。參與研究的人被分為兩組。一組被鼓勵從第一人稱的角度思考。另一組則被鼓勵從旁觀者的角度去考慮他們的進(jìn)步。

有趣的是，那些從旁觀者的角度考慮自己的人進(jìn)步得更快。

在你改善自我形象和增強(qiáng)自信的過程中，你可以試著把自己想象成一個(gè)不同的人。想象自己是一個(gè)正朝著積極方向改變的陌生人。

一定要稱贊這個(gè)人的成就！