江碧霞
【摘要】在高中英語教學(xué)中,寫作,是思維品質(zhì)和語言能力輸出的重要載體之一。在現(xiàn)行的應(yīng)用文寫作中,高中英語學(xué)習(xí)者如何在題目有限的信息里,有效地進(jìn)行加工、拓展,使文章的謀篇布局更合理,重點更突出,是教師們在作文指導(dǎo)中不斷鉆研的問題。
【關(guān)鍵詞】高中英語作文;有效拓展
一、實踐的背景和意義
高中英語寫作,是學(xué)生思維品質(zhì)和語言能力的重要輸出載體,是衡量英語教學(xué)有效性的重要手段之一。一節(jié)有針對性的作文評講課,效果超過了一次甚至多次的寫作練習(xí)。然而當(dāng)今很多高中英語作文評講課,仍然停留在詞匯拼寫和語法的糾錯,以及高級詞匯句式的提升上。對于在寫作內(nèi)容上無法有效拓展的學(xué)生來說,難以有實際的幫助。
核心素養(yǎng)對學(xué)生的思維品質(zhì)提出了更高的要求,因此,筆者在兩年的高三實踐中,通過對高中英語作文的有效拓展方面的評講與指導(dǎo),探究適合不同層次的學(xué)生的作文指導(dǎo)方法。
二、指導(dǎo)過程
以高三某一次段考的英語作文評講為例:
題目:假定你是李華,與留學(xué)生朋友Bob約好一起去書店,因故不能赴約。請給他寫封郵件,內(nèi)容包括:1.表示歉意;2.說明原因;3.另約時間。(開頭和結(jié)尾已給出)
該篇作文題目的字?jǐn)?shù)相當(dāng)少,寫作內(nèi)容大部分是以要點而不是句子的形式出現(xiàn)。文章中需要提到的信息點分別是“不能赴約”、“表達(dá)歉意”、“說明原因”“另約時間”。然而,年級整體完成的質(zhì)量并不理想。
在這篇作文的指導(dǎo)課上,教師首先選取了兩篇學(xué)生的習(xí)作。并讓全班同學(xué)對這兩篇作文進(jìn)行討論和評分。選取的習(xí)作如下:
(1)Dear Bob,
How are you, my dear exchange student Bob? I planned to go to the book store with you this Saturday afternoon. However, something happened all of a sudden and I have to say sorry that I cant go with you. Im terribly sorry but my English teacher asks me to attend a debate training class on Saturday afternoon, which is a preparation for the contest next week. It is so important that I cant miss. You know, debating has been my favorite and winning in the debating competition has been my dream. You are such a considerate person that you will understand me, right? To make up for it, I will treat you a feast. Shall we make it next weekend? I will give you some gifts to make up for my fault. Looking forward to your reply.
(2)Dear Bob,
Im sorry to say that I cannot go to the bookstore with you on Saturday afternoon. Im writing to say sorry to you. My monitor has informed me that our class will hold a welcome party to a new student this Saturday afternoon. Everyone must attend. Shall we meet at 9 am on Sunday morning? If you can, please let me know. Looking forward to your reply.
在第一輪討論中,絕大部分學(xué)生認(rèn)為第一篇詞匯和句式豐富,表達(dá)高級。而第二篇則給很低分,原因是太過簡單。沒有相對高級的詞匯和句型。此時,教師再讓學(xué)生們觀察兩篇作文是否緊扣題目要點,學(xué)生則再次討論。第二輪的討論中,給分結(jié)果出現(xiàn)了很大的不同。對第一篇作文的評分降到了15、14分。理由是廢話太多,偏離重點。本該作為重點的“不能赴約”的原因不夠突出。
1.區(qū)別有效拓展和無效拓展。教師讓學(xué)生們在第一篇中選出寫作的“無效拓展”的句子,分別是第二段的三、四、五句。這些文字與解釋原因或表達(dá)歉意沒有直接的關(guān)系,導(dǎo)致與上下文不能緊密銜接。而在第二篇作文中,作者像是簡單地翻譯了題目要求的要點,但是沒有進(jìn)行與要點相關(guān)的必要的說明和過渡,顯得生硬冷漠。
為了讓學(xué)生更明確有效拓展和無效拓展的區(qū)別,教師給出了第二篇作文,題目如下:
假定你是李華,暑假想去一家外貿(mào)公司兼職,已寫好申請書和個人簡歷(resume)。給外教Mr Jenkins 寫信,請她幫你修改所附材料的文字和格式(format)。
教師首先讓學(xué)生分組討論,說出這篇文章需要寫到的要點和詳略分布。接著,教師給出以下8個句子,讓學(xué)生篩選出他們認(rèn)為的有效拓展,該步驟同樣以小組討論的方式進(jìn)行。
①I like to travel to as many places as I can to broaden my horizons. To make enough money to pay for the travel, Id like to take a part-time job this summer. ②Ive found a company which deals with foreign trades on line. I think it a good chance to get to know people of different backgrounds.③I am attracted by a company dealing with foreign trades and have written an application form as well as my personal resume, hoping to get the position.④You have been my foreign teacher for 2 years and you helped me a lot in English in the past. You never turn down any student when you are asked for help.⑤However, Im afraid that there might be some grammar mistakes or inappropriate format in the materials that I prepared.⑥Would you please spare some time to correct mistakes in the letter and the format for me? ⑦If I succeed in getting the job, I would treat you to a feast!
通過激烈的討論,各組的學(xué)生紛紛發(fā)言,綜合學(xué)生的觀點,這篇作文是一篇求助型的應(yīng)用文,“為什么要求助”是全文的重點。根據(jù)以上同學(xué)的觀點,學(xué)生們選出的有效信息分別是3、5、6。經(jīng)過以上步驟,學(xué)生深化了對英語作文“有效拓展”和“無效拓展”的理解。并在討論結(jié)果的基礎(chǔ)上對文章的幾個關(guān)鍵詞在“是什么”、“為什么”、“怎樣”幾個方面進(jìn)行了稍微的補(bǔ)充。
2.學(xué)生互評,檢驗效果。在課后,教師在上過該指導(dǎo)課的班和沒上過該指導(dǎo)課的班布置了一篇作文,并要求學(xué)生互評。
假定你是李華。你所在的校乒乓球隊正在招收新隊員。請給你的留學(xué)生朋友Eric寫封郵件邀請他加入,內(nèi)容包括:(1)球隊的日常活動;(2)報名方式及截止日期。
學(xué)生習(xí)作及學(xué)生評價:
Dear Eric,
Im Li Hua. You always say I am stronger than you. Thats because I have been playing table tennis for 5 years. Now the Table Tennis Team in our school is recruiting new members. I remember you said you wanted to do some sports after school. I think it a good chance for you. As you know, practice makes perfect. If you keep on doing this, I think some day you will be as strong as me. I think it is really helpful to improve your health. If you want to sign up, must sign up before this weekend.
修改意見及評分:(1)刪去2、3、5、8句。這三句與吸引Eric報名乒乓球隊無直接關(guān)系,屬于無效拓展。建議改為“I know you have been interested in table tennis.”這樣不僅能讓對方更容易接受,也與下文銜接更緊密。(2)球隊的日常活動筆墨太少,不足以讓對方了解乒乓球隊。建議增加內(nèi)容,比如訓(xùn)練或比賽的安排等。(3)第三段沒有寫報名方式,內(nèi)容不完整。
從以上同學(xué)的修改意見可以看出,在作文有效拓展的評講課后,學(xué)生對作文要點的詳略把握有了一定提升,懂得分析題目要點,根據(jù)人物關(guān)系合理安排拓展內(nèi)容。這樣的評講,才能有助于思維層面的提高。
參考文獻(xiàn):
[1]邵丹.關(guān)于英語寫作教學(xué)的幾點思考[J].科學(xué)大眾,2011.3.
[2]王薔.從綜合語言運用能力到英語學(xué)科核心素養(yǎng)——高中英語課程改革的新挑戰(zhàn)[J].英語教師,2015,(16).