張超
Dear Sam,
Im so glad to tell you something about our school, one of the most well-known schools in China.
Our school was founded in 1951. It lie① in the southeast of Hebei Province. It is famous in② its good quality in teaching. Now it has about 1,800 students who are working hard for our country. The number of teachers are③ more than 100. The teachers teach very well and work hard to help the students. During the past 60 years, a great number of students have graduated from our school. Many of them have made great successes in their own field. We are all proud for④ them.
I hope youll have a chance to visit our school in the near future.
Yours,
Zhang Qi
河北省阜城縣古城中學(xué)八年級(3)班 張琪
點評
1. 優(yōu)點:
本文覆蓋了所有的提示要點,表達(dá)自然流暢,結(jié)構(gòu)嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)。小作者在行文時有意識地使用了定語從句、賓語從句等一些較復(fù)雜的句子結(jié)構(gòu),句與句間使用了一些連詞,使文章結(jié)構(gòu)連貫,層次井然,體現(xiàn)了小作者扎實的寫作功底。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①lie應(yīng)改為lies。因為句子主語是單數(shù)名詞our school,謂語動詞應(yīng)用第三人稱單數(shù)形式。
②in應(yīng)改為for。be famous for是固定短語,意思是“以……而著名”。
③are應(yīng)改為is。the number of...意為“……的數(shù)目”,作主語時,謂語動詞要用單數(shù)形式。
④for改為of。be proud of...為固定短語,意為“因……而自豪”。
3. 評分:
按中考英語作文滿分20的評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn),本文修改前可得18分。endprint