在逆境中如何與人交朋友并建立牢固的關(guān)系

It can be difficult to make friends living in a big city， especially when you dont know many people.

生活在一個(gè)大城市里是很難交到朋友的，尤其是當(dāng)你還不認(rèn)識(shí)很多人的時(shí)候。

Over years of experience and studying social skills， I found that its possible to make friends without even trying. There are just a few strategies1 that you have to use on a consistent2 basis.

根據(jù)多年的經(jīng)驗(yàn)以及對(duì)社交技能的研究，我發(fā)現(xiàn)其實(shí)你甚至能毫不費(fèi)力地交到朋友。這兒列出幾種策略，你要持之以恒地運(yùn)用。

Here are some simple steps Ill outline：

在這里我將列出幾個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的步驟：

1. Be seen without trying to get attention.

不刻意地引人注意也能獲得他人的關(guān)注。

You dont have to say anything funny or interesting to get peoples attention， all you have to do is to place yourself in environments where people will see you.

你不必說詼諧或有趣的話來吸引人們的注意，你所要做的只是將你自己置于人們能注意到的地方。

This can be done anywhere you go， such as the supermarket or gym.

這可以在你去的任何地方奏效，比如超市或是健身房。

2. Use the power3 of listening.

使用傾聽的力量。

Theres an interesting phenomenon4 that happens when you listen to other people. Theyll keep talking. Just keep giving them good eye contact and show with your body language that you care.

有一個(gè)有趣的現(xiàn)象，當(dāng)你傾聽別人說話時(shí)，他們會(huì)一直侃侃而談。你所需要做的就是和他們保持良好的眼神接觸，并用你的身體語言顯示出你在認(rèn)真傾聽。

3. Think about what you can give to the other people.

想想你能給別人什么。

So often we think about what we can get out of others when we try to make friends， but that thinking needs to be flipped5 around.

當(dāng)我們?cè)噲D交朋友的時(shí)候，我們經(jīng)常會(huì)考慮我們能從別人那里得到什么，但是我們需要扭轉(zhuǎn)這種想法。

Try offering a piece of helpful advice or invite someone you just met to have a cup of coffee or lunch with you the following week.

試著給人提供一個(gè)有用的建議或邀請(qǐng)你剛剛認(rèn)識(shí)的人在接下來的一周里一起喝杯咖啡或者共進(jìn)午餐。

4. Always have 3 good stories to tell other people.

總是有3個(gè)好故事與他人分享。

When you have at least a few stories to share with others， youll never run out of things to talk about.

當(dāng)你至少有幾個(gè)故事與他人分享時(shí)，你將永遠(yuǎn)有談不盡的話題。

5. Smile like theres no tomorrow.

盡情微笑。

It may not be natural for some of us to smile， but a smile is one of the most attractive things that someone can show when theyre meeting new people.

對(duì)有些人來說，微笑可能是件不自然的事情，但是當(dāng)結(jié)識(shí)新朋友時(shí)，微笑是展示給別人的最有吸引力的一面。

Think about these 5 strategies as tools. Theyre always useful if you want to connect with people for a long time and develop true lasting friendships.

我們可以把這5種策略作為工具。如果你想與人保持長(zhǎng)久聯(lián)系，并且發(fā)展成真正長(zhǎng)久的友誼，它們總是大有用處的。