我為何而生

作者：伯特蘭·羅素（1872—1970），英國哲學(xué)家、數(shù)學(xué)家、邏輯學(xué)家、歷史學(xué)家，也是20世紀(jì)西方最著名、影響最大的學(xué)者和和平主義社會活動家之一。1950年，伯特蘭·羅素獲得諾貝爾文學(xué)獎。這篇文章是作者為他的自傳寫的前言。

Three passions， simple but overwhelmingly strong， have governed my life： the longing for love， the search for knowledge， and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions， like great winds， have blown me hither and thither， in a wayward course， over a deep ocean of anguish， reaching to the very verge of despair.

I have sought love， first， because it brings ecstasy—ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of my life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it， next， because it relieves loneliness—that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it， finally， because in the union of love I have seen， in a mystic miniature， the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought， and though it might seem too good for human life， this is what—at last—I have found.

With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A little of this， but not much， I have achieved.

Love and knowledge， so far as they were possible， led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine， victims tortured by oppressors， helpless old people a burden to their sons， and the whole world of loneliness， poverty， and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate the evil， but I cannot， and I too suffer.

This has been my life. I have found it worth living， and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered to me.

對愛情的渴望，對知識的追求，對人類苦難不可遏制的同情，是支配我一生的單純而強(qiáng)烈的三種感情。這些感情如陣陣巨風(fēng)，吹拂在我動蕩不定的生涯中，有時甚至吹過深沉痛苦的海洋，直抵絕望的邊緣。

我所以追求愛情，有三方面的原因：首先，愛情有時給我?guī)砜裣玻@種狂喜竟如此有力，以至使我常常會為了體驗(yàn)幾小時愛的喜悅，而寧愿犧牲生命中其他一切；其次，愛情可以擺脫孤寂——身歷那種可怕孤寂的人的戰(zhàn)栗意識，有時會由世界的邊緣，觀察到冷酷無生命的無底深淵；最后，在愛的結(jié)合中，我看到了古今圣賢以及詩人們所夢想的天堂的縮影，這正是我所追尋的人生境界。雖然它對一般的人類生活也許太美好了，但這正是我透過愛情所得到的最終發(fā)現(xiàn)。

我曾以同樣的感情追求知識，我渴望去了解人類的心靈。也渴望知道星星為什么會發(fā)光，同時我還想理解畢達(dá)哥拉斯的力量，即數(shù)字駕馭一切不穩(wěn)定的強(qiáng)大力量。我在這方面略有成就，但不多。

愛情與知識的可能領(lǐng)域，總是引領(lǐng)我到天堂的境界，可對人類苦難的同情經(jīng)常把我?guī)Щ噩F(xiàn)實(shí)世界。那些痛苦的呼喚經(jīng)常在我內(nèi)心深處引起回響。饑餓中的孩子，被壓迫被折磨者，給子女造成重?fù)?dān)的孤苦無依的老人，以及全球性的孤獨(dú)、貧窮和痛苦的存在，是對人類生活理想的無視和諷刺。我常常希望能盡自己的微薄之力去減輕這不必要的痛苦，但我發(fā)現(xiàn)我完全失敗了，因此我自己也感到很痛苦。

這就是我的一生，我發(fā)現(xiàn)人是值得活的。如果有誰再給我一次生活的機(jī)會，我將欣然接受這難得的賜予。