一言難盡的高中歲月

By+Frank+T.+McAndrewe

Sometimes I think high school is one long hazing activity： If you are tough enough to survive this， theyll let you become an adult. I hope its worth it.

有時我覺得高中生活是一個歷時漫長的捉弄游戲：你如果足夠堅強，挺過去，就會成長為成年人。我希望這一切都值得。

—美國暢銷書作家Laurie Halse Anderson

For better or worse， many of us never forget high school： the unrequited1） romantic crushes， chronic embarrassment， desperate struggles for popularity， sexual awakening， parental pressure and， above all else， competition—social， athletic， academic.

Theres even an entire genre of entertainment that revolves2） around high school. Beverly Hills 90210， Mean Girls， Heathers， The Breakfast Club and Fast Times at Ridgemont High all revisit the conflict and angst of these years.

What is it about this period of our lives that makes it seem more meaningful and memorable than any other？

My research experience as an evolutionary psychologist leads me to believe that many factors interact to make our teenage memories so vivid. But the main driver is the collision between the hardwiring of our brains that took place across several million of years of evolution and the odd social bubble created by high school， which poses an unprecedented social challenge to our prehistoric minds.

In other words， the world that we evolved to be successful in （a small， stable group of interrelated people of various ages） is very different from the holding pen full of teenagers brimming with hormones.

“The Reminiscence3） Bump”

Some look back on high school as the best time of their life and pine4） for those “good old days.” Whether or not this was actually the case， it turns out there may have been some evolutionary advantages to having a rosy view of the past.

But most of us remember high school with an emotional mixture of longing， regret， joy and embarrassment. And strong emotions equal strong memories; even the music from those years gets imprinted on our brain like nothing that comes later.

Memory researchers have， in fact， identified something called “the reminiscence bump，” which shows that our strongest memories come from things that happened to us between the ages of 10 and 30.

What is it about this time of life that makes it stand out from the rest of our years？ Part of it is undoubtedly due to changes in the brains sensitivity to certain types of information during adolescence. Emotions signal to the brain that important events are happening， and the teen years are chock full of5） important social feedback about ones skills， attractiveness， status and desirability as a mate. This is precisely the stuff we need to pay attention to in order to successfully play the cards6） we have been dealt7） and to become socially and reproductively successful.

A Dog-eat-dog World

Memory research may offer hints about why the mental snapshots of our high school years remain so vivid even decades later. But evolutionary psychology can also help explain why so much meaning is attached to these years and why they play such an important role in who we become.

For example， theres a reason teenagers often strive to be popular.

As far as scientists can tell， our prehistoric forebears8） lived in relatively small groups. Most people would live out their entire life in this group， and ones social standing within it was determined during adolescence. How much one was admired as a warrior or hunter， how desirable one was perceived to be as a mate and how much trust and esteem was accorded9） to one by others—all of this was sorted out in young adulthood. A person deemed to be a loser at 18 was unlikely to rise to a position of prominence at 40. Thus， from an evolutionary perspective， the competition of the teen years had lifelong repercussions10）.

Of course， today， those who have unsavory11） high school experiences can move to new places after graduation and start over. However， even though we may be consciously aware of this， the psychological buttons that get pushed in the adolescent brain make us become consumed with12） our social lives during this period.

Popularity can become an obsession， since youll be ranked against the people in your own age cohort13） for the rest of your life. After all， your status as an adult primarily depends upon how you stack up14） compared with them， not with others.

Also， strong pressures to conform ensure that you do not stray15） too far from a friend groups values. Ostracism16） from the group in prehistoric times was tantamount17） to a death sentence.

It all requires forging alliances and demonstrating loyalty to others. The result is a splintering18） of the social world into competing cliques19） that grind each other up in the gears of the social hierarchy.

Mom， Stop Bugging Me！

Back home， conflict with parents is usually inevitable. Parents want their children to succeed， but they usually have a more long-term perspective than that of their teen.

So the things that the parent thinks that the child should be concerned with （preparing for a career and developing important life skills） and the things that the child is emotionally driven to actually be concerned with （being popular and having fun） are often at odds. Parents usually realize where the parent-offspring tension comes from. Kids dont.

Meanwhile， hormones20） fuel the sort of “showing off” that would have increased ones attractiveness in early societies. In young men we still reward， to some extent， the things that would have been essential for success in hunting and combat thousands of years ago： the willingness to take risks， fighting ability， speed and the ability to throw with velocity21） and accuracy. Young women will showcase their youth and fertility. Beauty， unfortunately， continues to be a significant criterion by which they are judged.

Reunion Angst

In earlier times， because you had a personal connection with nearly everyone in your group， the ability to remember details about the temperament， predictability and past behavior of peers had a huge payoff. There would have been little use for a mind designed to engage in abstract statistical thinking about large numbers of strangers.

In todays world， while it is still important to keep tabs on22） known individuals， we also face new challenges. We interact with strangers on a daily basis， so theres a need to predict how theyll behave： Will this person try to swindle me or can he or she be trusted？ Is this someone important that I should get to know or a nobody that I can safely ignore？

Its a task many of us find difficult because our brains werent really wired to do this， and we fall back on23） cognitive shortcuts， such as stereotyping， as a way to cope.

Natural selection instead shaped an innate curiosity about specific people—and a memory to store this information. We needed to remember who treated us well and who didnt， and the more emotional the memory， the less likely we are to forget it. Its tough to forget when the person you thought of as a close friend publicly snubbed24） you， or the time that you caught another trusted friend flirting with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

The result is a strong propensity25） for holding grudges26）. It protects us from being taken advantage of again but can also make for some uncomfortable， anxiety-inducing moments at high school reunions.

To further complicate things， high school is probably the last time in life when people of all sorts are thrown together for no other reason than they are the same age and live in the same area. Yes， high schools are often segregated by economic background and race. But most high schoolers will still encounter more day-to-day diversity than they will later in life.

After high school， studies have shown that people begin to sort themselves out according to intelligence， political values， occupational interests and a wide range of other social screening devices.

At the same time， however， the people you knew in high school remain your default group for engaging in social comparison.

According to “Social Comparison Theory”， we figure out how good we are and develop a sense of personal worth by comparing ourselves with others; the more similar those others are， the better we can gauge27） our own strengths and weaknesses. Because your high school classmates will always be the same age as you—and because they started out in the same place—theres inherently a degree of interest in finding out what happened to them later in life， if for no other reason than to see how your own life stacks up.

Given all this， its no wonder that the English Romantic poet Robert Southey28） once wrote that the “the first 20 years are the longest half of your life， no matter how long you might live.”

無論是好是壞，我們很多人永遠忘不了高中時代：無果的暗戀、時常發(fā)生的難堪、人氣的激烈爭奪、性意識的覺醒、父母施加的壓力以及比這一切都要命的競爭——社交、運動和學(xué)業(yè)方面的競爭。

甚至有一整個類型的娛樂節(jié)目是圍繞高中展開的。《飛躍比佛利》《賤女孩》《希德姊妹幫》《早餐俱樂部》和《開放的美國學(xué)府》無不是對高中那些年的苦惱與憂慮的再現(xiàn)。

是什么讓我們?nèi)松械倪@個階段看起來比其他階段更富內(nèi)涵、更加難忘呢？

作為一名進化心理學(xué)家，我的研究經(jīng)驗使我相信，青少年時期的記憶之所以格外鮮活，是因為多種因素的相互作用，但主要的驅(qū)動因素是經(jīng)過我們大腦幾百萬年才進化形成的先天構(gòu)造和高中催生的奇特人際泡沫之間存在沖突，這種沖突給我們史前形成的頭腦帶來了前所未有的社交挑戰(zhàn)。

換句話說，我們通過進化在其中求得功成名就的世界與高中那棚圈一般的世界迥然不同。前者為不同年齡、相互關(guān)聯(lián)的人們組成的穩(wěn)定的小群體，而后者則集聚著渾身涌動著荷爾蒙的少男少女。

“記憶隆起”

在有些人的記憶里，高中是他們?nèi)松蠲赖哪耆A，他們懷念那些“流金歲月”。不論事實是否真的如此，研究表明，從進化的角度來看，樂觀地看待過去會有一些好處。

不過，我們大多數(shù)人憶起高中生活時，心中還是五味雜陳，懷念、遺憾、喜悅和難堪兼而有之。強烈的情感等同于深刻的記憶，就連高中時聽過的音樂都牢記在腦海里，無后來者能及。

事實上，記憶研究人員發(fā)現(xiàn)了一個叫做“記憶隆起”的現(xiàn)象，該現(xiàn)象表明，我們對于10～30歲這個年齡段發(fā)生的事情記憶最為深刻。

究竟是什么使得人生的這個階段比其他階段更突出呢？部分原因無疑是青少年時期大腦對于某些類型的信息的敏感度有所變化。情感提示大腦正在發(fā)生重要的事情，而青少年時代充斥著各種重要的社會反饋，涉及一個人的技能、魅力、地位以及作為伴侶的受歡迎度。而這恰恰是我們?yōu)榱司魈幨?、成功社交、順利繁衍所需要關(guān)注的東西。

你爭我奪的世界

記憶方面的研究或許可以提供一些線索，揭示為什么幾十年之后高中的日子仍能在我們腦海里留下如此生動的畫面。但進化心理學(xué)還能解釋為什么高中那些年會被賦予如此多的意義，以及為什么高中會在我們成長為什么樣的人方面扮演著如此重要的角色。

例如，青少年常力爭獲得好人緣有其原因。

就科學(xué)家們所知道的，遠古時期我們的祖先以相對較小的群體聚居。大多數(shù)人一輩子都會待在這個群體里，而個人在此群體中的地位在青少年時期就已確定。一個人戰(zhàn)斗或狩獵的本領(lǐng)有多令人艷羨？一個人對異性的吸引力有多強？一個人能從別人那里獲得多少信任和尊重？所有這些都會在青年時期決出分曉。一個在18歲的時候被認為是失敗者的人不太可能會在40歲的時候出人頭地。因此，從進化的角度來看，青少年時期的競爭會對一個人產(chǎn)生終身影響。

當然，現(xiàn)如今，高中有過不愉快經(jīng)歷的人可以在畢業(yè)之后換個地方，從頭來過。但是，即便我們清楚地認識到這一點，在青春期，我們大腦中按下的那個心理按鈕仍會使我們在這段時間沉迷于社交生活。

受歡迎這個問題會讓人著迷，因為你在余生都會被拿來跟你同齡的那群人對比。畢竟你成年之后的地位主要取決于你跟這群同齡人相比干得如何，而非與其他人比較。

此外，合群的巨大壓力會確保你的觀念不會與你朋友圈的觀念偏離太遠。遠古時代，一個人若是遭到群體的排擠無異于被判死刑。

種種這些無不要求人們結(jié)成同盟并向盟友展示忠誠。結(jié)果就是社交世界分裂成彼此競爭的團伙，在社會等級的齒輪上相互碾壓。

媽，別煩我！

回到家，通常難免與父母發(fā)生沖突。父母希望子女成龍成鳳，但是與身處青春期的子女相比，他們的眼光往往更長遠。

所以，父母認為子女應(yīng)該操心的事情（為工作作準備、培養(yǎng)重要的生活技能）和子女受情感驅(qū)使而實際關(guān)注的事情（拼人氣，尋開心）常常不相一致。父母一般會意識到他們與子女的緊張關(guān)系源自何處，而子女并不清楚。

同時，荷爾蒙激發(fā)了“炫耀行為”，若在人類早期社會，這可能會增加一個人的魅力。就年輕男子而言，我們多少仍會賞識幾千年前在狩獵和戰(zhàn)斗中取勝所必需的那些品質(zhì)：甘于冒險，有戰(zhàn)斗力，速度驚人，投擲又快又準。年輕女子則會展示她們的青春和生育能力。不幸的是，容顏仍是評價她們的一個重要標準。

同學(xué)聚會的焦慮

遠古時候，你跟你所在群體的幾乎每個人都有個人往來，這樣一來，能夠詳細記住同伴的性格脾氣、預(yù)期的反應(yīng)和過往的行為就會大有裨益。對于那個時候的人來說，生就一副能對大量陌生人作抽象統(tǒng)計思考的頭腦沒多大用處。

而在當今世界，雖然密切關(guān)注熟人仍具重要意義，但我們也面臨新的挑戰(zhàn)。我們每天都跟陌生人打交道，因此有必要預(yù)測他們的舉動：這個人是想騙我，還是值得信任？這個人是我應(yīng)該結(jié)識的重要人物，還是忽略了也無妨的無名小輩？

這是一件我們很多人感到棘手的事情，因為我們的大腦天生并不具備這種本領(lǐng)，我們只好轉(zhuǎn)而依靠認知捷徑，比如依賴刻板印象作為一種應(yīng)對方法。

相反，自然選擇會讓我們天生就對特定人群產(chǎn)生好奇——并用記憶來存儲這一信息。我們需要記住誰對我們好，誰對我們不好。這一記憶摻雜的感情越是強烈，我們就越發(fā)難以忘懷。當一個你以密友相待的人公開冷落你，或是當你撞見你信任的一個朋友跟你的男友或者女友眉來眼去時，你會很難忘卻。

這樣導(dǎo)致的結(jié)果就是極有可能懷恨在心。這能保護我們免于再次受欺負，但也會在高中同學(xué)聚會的時候引起一些尷尬和不安。

而讓情況更加復(fù)雜的是，高中可能是我們?nèi)松斨凶詈笠粋€這樣的階段：各種各樣的人純粹因為同一年齡、住在同一地區(qū)而朝夕相處。沒錯，高中往往也因經(jīng)濟條件和種族而存在隔離的情況，但大多數(shù)高中生每天接觸的人的類型要比日后接觸的更廣泛。

研究表明，高中畢業(yè)之后，人們就開始根據(jù)智商、政治見解、職業(yè)興趣及各種各樣其他的社會篩選標準來把自己歸入三六九等。

而與此同時，在作社會比較時，你在高中時認識的人仍是你比較的默認參照組。

根據(jù)“社會比較理論”，我們通過與他人進行比較來弄清我們有多優(yōu)秀并形成個人價值判斷;其他人之間越相似，越有助于我們判斷自己的優(yōu)劣。因為你的高中同學(xué)一直跟你同齡——還因為他們跟你成長于同一個地方——你自然有一定的興趣去了解他們后來的人生如何，哪怕僅僅是為了看看自己的人生過得如何。

考慮到上述這些，難怪英國浪漫主義詩人羅伯特·騷塞曾經(jīng)寫道：“不管你能活多久，頭20年都是你人生最長的一段。”

1. unrequited [??nr??kwa?t?d] adj. 得不到報答的，無回報的

2. revolve [r??v?lv] vi. 圍繞

3. reminiscence [?rem??n?s（?）ns] n. 回憶，懷舊;緬懷往事

4. pine [pa?n] vi. 懷念（for）

5. chock full of：塞滿的，滿滿的

6. successfully play the cards：處事得當，做事精明，同play the cards right。

7. deal [di?l] vt. 發(fā)（紙牌）

8. forebear [?f??（r）be?（r）] n. 祖先，前輩

9. accord [??k??（r）d] vt. 使受到，給予（某種待遇）

10. repercussion [?ri?p?（r）?k??（?）n] n. 反響，回響

11. unsavory [?n?se?v?ri] adj. 令人不快的

12. be consumed with：對……沉迷

13. cohort [?k???h??（r）t] n. （尤指為了進行統(tǒng)計而被看作一個整體的）一群人

14. stack up：（與其他人或事物）相比;比得上

15. stray [stre?] vi. 偏離

16. ostracism [??str??s?z（?）m] n. 排斥，排擠

17. tantamount [?t?nt??ma?nt] adj. 等于……的，無異于……的（to）

18. splintering [?spl?nt?（r）??] n. 分裂，分解

19. clique [kli?k] n. 派系，小集團

20. hormone [?h??（r）m??n] n. 激素，荷爾蒙

21. velocity [v??l?s?ti] n. 速度，速率

22. keep tabs on：密切注意，嚴密監(jiān)視（某人的一舉一動）

23. fall back on：轉(zhuǎn)而依靠

24. snub [sn?b] vt. 冷落，怠慢

25. propensity [pr??pens?ti] n. 傾向

26. grudge [ɡr?d?] n. 不滿，積怨，怨恨

27. gauge [ɡe?d?] vt. 評價，判斷

28. Robert Southey：羅伯特·騷塞（1774～1843），英國作家，浪漫主義詩人