My first semester①semester英 [s?'mest?] 美 [s??m?st?] n. 學(xué)期;半年at MIT was awesome - I was very motivated and got all A's, I declared math as my major.
My parents were pressuring me to be a premed and become a doctor(like them) so I guess I was trying to appease②appease 英 [?'pi?z] 美 [?'piz] vt. 使平息;使?jié)M足them. But at the same time, I was desperately③desperately 英 ['desp?r?tl?]adv. 拼命地;絕望地;極度地running away from them and their emotional abuse. I was very conflicted and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I had always excelled in math and so I chose to pursue that.
My third semester, I took 18.700 (Linear Algebra). and I ended up with a D. I didn't do that well in my other classes, either. It seemed like all my friends were doing so well, getting all these internships④internship 英 ['?nt??n??p] 美 ['?nt?n??p] n. 實(shí)習(xí)生and opportunities over the summers.
My fifth semester, I realized that I was awful at higherlevel math and so I switched my major to computer science. I had lost all confidence in myself. I attended a few classes at the beginning of the semester, but after the first midterms, I completely stopped. My only relief was the dance team I was on. I would sleep all day, muster up the courage to get out of bed and go to dance practice, pretend everything was okay at dinner with my friends, and then go back to sleep. As expected, I failed all of my classes and had to withdraw⑤withdraw 英 [w?e'dr??] 美 [w?e'dr?]vt. 撤退;收回;撤消;拉開(kāi)from MIT.
在麻省理工的第一學(xué)期成績(jī)驕人,我學(xué)習(xí)積極主動(dòng),我的所有學(xué)科成績(jī)都是A,數(shù)學(xué)是我的專業(yè),而且我的興趣也在數(shù)學(xué)。
大概父母想要讓我成為醫(yī)科預(yù)備生,然后像他們一樣成為醫(yī)生,我為了討他們的歡心才做出這樣的選擇。但同時(shí),我又極度想擺脫他們情緒上的控制,我很矛盾,也不知道我將來(lái)要做什么,我數(shù)學(xué)很棒,所以我選擇堅(jiān)持下去。
第三學(xué)期,我選擇了18.700(線性代數(shù)),這門課最后得了一個(gè)D,而且其他課業(yè)每況愈下。我身邊的朋友都學(xué)得不錯(cuò),暑假都得到了實(shí)習(xí)的機(jī)會(huì)。
第五學(xué)期,我意識(shí)到我實(shí)在不適合讀高數(shù),于是就換到了電腦科學(xué)專業(yè),我徹底失去了信心。學(xué)期一開(kāi)始我很少上課。到第一次期中,我徹底不學(xué)了。我就只去學(xué)校的舞蹈隊(duì),我睡一整天,然后振作精神起床去練跳舞,假裝啥事沒(méi)有和我的朋友一起吃晚飯,然后回去睡覺(jué)。不出所料,我的所有科目都掛了,只能輟學(xué)。
被迫輟學(xué)以后,我只能告訴我的父母。爸爸第一次問(wèn)我要了成績(jī)單。他沒(méi)有吼我,也沒(méi)有打我,只是抱著我哭。第二天爸爸請(qǐng)假帶著我和媽媽來(lái)到了附近一所小型的文理學(xué)院。我當(dāng)時(shí)徹底感覺(jué)麻木了。
我感覺(jué)徹底失去了信心,身體被掏空。第一次生物考試之前,我記得自己告訴媽媽,這門課我可能不會(huì)過(guò)。但是我還是過(guò)了,而且考的不錯(cuò)。
因?yàn)橛辛撕芏嗫沼鄷r(shí)間,所以在第一學(xué)期我就參加了教授的生物實(shí)驗(yàn)室。發(fā)現(xiàn)我深深地愛(ài)上了生物。每周最多花35個(gè)小時(shí)做研究,發(fā)現(xiàn)這就是我想要做的,我想成為一個(gè)科學(xué)家。我終于找到了我的目標(biāo)和內(nèi)在動(dòng)機(jī)。而且我想要通過(guò)自己最大的努力將它實(shí)現(xiàn)。于是我每天都很努力,不管是在學(xué)校還是做研究。
就在過(guò)去的5月,我成功畢業(yè),而且獲得了最好榮譽(yù),有幸開(kāi)始我的神經(jīng)生物學(xué)博士學(xué)位研讀。花了5年的時(shí)間我從大學(xué)畢業(yè),現(xiàn)在我可以說(shuō)從麻省理工輟學(xué)是我生命中發(fā)生過(guò)的最好的事情。讓我懂得一個(gè)人最重要的不是成績(jī)。我體會(huì)到了父母的愛(ài),要不是他們我也不會(huì)重新振作,最終我們互相諒解。我也找到了生命中的熱愛(ài),可以把我對(duì)于生物的好奇和對(duì)數(shù)學(xué)的喜愛(ài)相結(jié)合。
Sinced I was forced to withdraw, I had no choice but to tell my parents. My dad asked to see my grades, for the first time ever. I shakingly emailed him my transcript⑥transcript英 ['tr?nskr?pt; 'trɑ?n-]美 ['tr?nskr?pt] n. 成績(jī)單, Instead of yelling or hitting me,though, he just held me and cried. The next day, he took off from work and took me and my mom to a nearby, small liberal arts college, I felt completely numb.
But I was burnt out, and I had lost all confidence in myself. Before my first biology⑦biology 英 [ba?'?l?d??] 美 [ba?'ɑl?d?i] n. 生物test, I remember telling my mom I didn't think I could pass. I did pass, with flying colors.
Since I had so much free time, I decided to join a biology lab with my professor from the first semester. And I loved it. I started doing research 35 hours a week, and I realized - this is what I want to do!I want to be a scientist! I finally had a goal, and internal motivation,and I decided I would do my absolute best to make it come true. I kept working, day by day, on both school and research.
This past May, I graduated with highest honors, and now I am fortunate enough to have started my PhD in neurobiology.Though it ended up taking me 5 years to graduate from college, I can say now that failing out of MIT was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I realized that a person is not their grades. I realized how much my parents love me (and I never could have recovered without their support), and I think we finally understand each other. I finally discovered my passion in life, and now I get to put together my intense curiosity for biology with my love for math!