My Lovely Twin Cousins

陳傳光 男，中學一級教師，江蘇省贛榆縣羅陽中學，從事教育教學工作十余載。江蘇省教育學會會員，連云港市優(yōu)秀教育園丁，贛榆縣優(yōu)秀班主任。有多篇論文在各雜志期刊上發(fā)表并獲獎。曾獲全國中學生新課程英語語言能力競賽優(yōu)秀輔導教師一等獎。

My uncle has two little babies. They are twins. Their names are Zi Kang and Zi Jie. They are only two years old. They all① have small eyes and straight black hair. Zi Jie is taller and stronger than Zi Kang， and Zi Jie looks like his dad. They love eating chocolate biscuits.

They are so cute. They like swinging in the park. They get up at seven oclock. Then my grandma takes them to the market to buy delicious breakfast. After that， they go to the park. In the afternoon， my aunt often takes them to play with the neighbor② kids for a while. Every evening， they do not go to bed until they finish drinking hot milk.

My lovely twin cousins like smiling. They smile to everyone， even if they dont know who are they③. So everyone likes them.

江蘇省贛榆縣羅陽中學九（5）班 豐凱強

1. 優(yōu)點：

這是一篇別具特色的寫人作品，文章的主角是兩個只有兩歲的雙胞胎嬰兒，通過表哥豐凱強同學繪聲繪色的描寫，這兩個小寶貝憨態(tài)可掬的樣子躍然紙上，讓人喜愛。本文重點闡述了雙胞胎表弟的生活，細節(jié)之處，如“喜歡對人微笑”，極富感染力，是一篇極為生動的寫人佳作。

2. 需要修改的地方：

① all改為both。all意為“（三者或三者以上）都”，both意為“（兩者）都”。

② neighbor改為neighbors。neighbors是名詞所有格，修飾kids，意為“鄰居的”。

③ are they改為they are。此處是賓語從句，從句應使用陳述句語序。

3. 評分：

按江蘇省連云港市中考英語作文滿分20分的評分標準，本文修改前可得18分。