學(xué)以致用，有效成文

徐穎

假設(shè)你是李華，作為交流學(xué)生去美國新奧爾良市 （New Orleans）學(xué)習生活了一年。在此期間，你住在Brown夫婦家中，他們?yōu)槟闾峁┝顺浴⒆?、行及旅游方面的幫助。請你給他們寫一封感謝信，主要內(nèi)容如下：

1. 表示感謝；

2. 表達感受；

3. 歡迎來訪；

4. 保持聯(lián)系。

注意：1. 詞數(shù)100左右； 2. 可適當增加細節(jié)，以使行文連貫。

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Brown，

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________

Yours，

Li Hua

[審題]

這是一封李華寫給布朗夫婦的感謝信，應(yīng)采用第一人稱，在表達感謝及邀請來訪部分，時態(tài)可以用一般現(xiàn)在時；表達感受（指在美國時）部分，時態(tài)用一般過去時。文章的內(nèi)容可歸納為三部分：一是表達感謝，二是回顧住在布朗夫婦家的感受，三是歡迎來訪（提出邀請）。文章可按這三部分分為三段。

[頭腦風暴、豐富內(nèi)容]

題目給出的要點只有短短幾個詞，顯然不足以支撐起一篇文章，更不用說達到寫感謝信的目的（讓收信人布朗夫婦體會到李華的感恩之情和盛情邀請促成中國之行），所以必須頭腦風暴補充相應(yīng)的內(nèi)容。

表達感謝方面可補充：

1. 詢問對方近況，講述自己的現(xiàn)狀。

2. 強調(diào)對方的幫助，自己念念不忘。

3. 引出寫信的原因：感謝并邀請。

回顧感受部分是感謝信的中心內(nèi)容，所以可補充的細節(jié)和內(nèi)容就更多。例如：

1. 作者初來乍到如何不適應(yīng)，心理狀態(tài)如何低落。

2. 布朗夫婦如何給予作者幫助：用美味的食物熱情招待，提供便利的生活設(shè)施和體貼、耐心的幫忙，利用閑暇陪伴作者游覽風景名勝度過不適應(yīng)期，及時給予作者心理支持等。

3. 在布朗夫婦幫助下，作者不僅在學(xué)業(yè)上取得了進步，也慢慢融入新環(huán)境中，與布朗夫婦產(chǎn)生了深厚的感情。

歡迎來訪并提出邀請部分可補充：

1. 由衷歡迎來中國相聚。

2. 來后的活動安排：旅游、住宿、文化交流等等?？梢圆槐剡^于具體，一兩句話帶過即可。

3. 希望及時聯(lián)系，期待布朗夫婦早日到來。

[定詞匯、定句型]

針對要點和所補充的內(nèi)容選擇合適的詞匯和句型。選擇的原則是詞匯要合適，盡可能使用高中階段新學(xué)的詞匯，用短語替代簡單的單詞。句型方面盡量多使用復(fù)合句，使用一些特殊句式（如強調(diào)句、倒裝句、感嘆句），避免流水賬式的簡單敘述。

第一段表達感謝部分可選的詞匯如：assistance（help）， thanks， gratitude， invite， invitation，convey。

貼切的句型如：

1. How are you these days！

2. I have arrived home safe and sound （安然無恙）.

3. Im writing to express my thanks to you for your help during my stay in America.

4. Im writing to convey my deepest gratitude to you for ... （傳達我最深的感謝）

5. Never will I forget the days we spent together in your home， during which time I received your kindest help and support. （倒裝句）

第二段回顧感受部分可選的詞匯如：

set foot on， get along/on well with， cope with， fit in with， delicious， consideration， enjoy breath-taking scenery， make rapid progress， leave a deep impression on。

貼切的句型如：

1. The first time I set foot on the US， I felt helpless and homesick. （名詞短語作連詞）

2. How helpless and homesick I was when ... （感嘆句）

3. It was your company， assistance and encouragement that helped me get through that period. （強調(diào)句型）

4. Without your help， I wouldnt have made such progress in my study and became smooth in life. （虛擬語氣）

If it hadnt been for you， I wouldnt have achieved so much in ...

5. The beautiful scenery in the US left a deep impression on me， which I will cherish forever. （定語從句）

第三段邀請來訪部分可選的詞匯。例如：sincerely， get together， definitely， accompany ... to ...， keep in touch with each other， look forward to ...， arrival。

貼切的句型例如：

1. I sincerely invite you to come to China and have a get-together.

2. If so， Ill accompany you that ... （省略句）

3. You will definitely have a great time here.

4. Lets keep in touch and look forward to your arrival.

[補銜接、連句成篇]

補充銜接詞和銜接短語后的例文如下：

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Brown，

How are you these days？ I have arrived home safe and sound. Im writing to you to convey my deepest and sincerest gratitude to you for your helpful assistance during my stay in your home in New Orleans， US and Id like to invite you to come to China.

I remember very well the first time I set foot on America， I felt helpless and homesick. Fortunately， I was sent to live with you. It was your timely company， helpful assistance and genuine encouragement that finally saw me through during that period. If it hadnt been for you， I wouldnt have made such great progress in my study and become smooth in life. In addition， the beautiful scenery there left a deep impression on me， which I will cherish forever.

Now I sincerely invite you to my motherland， China and have a get-together. If so， I will accompany you to the attractions in China as well as introducing its more-than-5000-year-old culture to you. Whats more， hope to keep in contact with each other. Looking forward to your arrival.

Yours，

Li Hua

第一段基本是按照準備好的句型順序來寫的。表達感激的這一句在gratitude前加上了一個形容詞最高級sincerest。

第二段的銜接主要用了fortunately， in addition。第一句用I remember very well連接要用的句型，自然得體。強調(diào)句中補充了finally， see sb. through（幫助某人度過），很貼切。

第三段運用選定的句型，加了副詞sincerely。名詞attractions和短語more-than-5000-year-old culture使內(nèi)容更具體。銜接上主要補充了whats more。

經(jīng)過補充銜接成分，這已經(jīng)是一篇句式多樣、結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊、表達規(guī)范的文章了。

[檢查、潤色 ]

檢查、潤色可以補充遺漏的內(nèi)容，添加適當?shù)男畔⑹刮恼嘛枬M。英語水平比較高的同學(xué)可以恰如其分地引入一些諺語、習語或名言等等。檢查主要看有無重復(fù)、拼寫錯誤或知識性錯誤，以及文章是否連貫。

下面是經(jīng)過潤色的例文：

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Brown，

How are you these days？ I have arrived home safe and sound. I always recall the enjoyable time we spent together when I was an exchange student living at your family. That is of such importance to me that I will cherish it forever. In consequence， Im writing to you to convey my deepest and sincerest gratitude to you for your consideration and helpful assistance during my stay in your home in New Orleans， US and extend this invitation.

I remember very well when I initially set foot on the land of America， feeling helpless and homesick， I didnt know what life held in store for me in the future. Fortunately， I was sent to live with you. It is my privilege to live with such a friendly family whose company， encouragement， assistance and consideration gradually got me out of that haze. If it hadnt been for you， I wouldnt have made such great progress in my study and become smooth in life. In addition， it is you that let me admire the breath-taking scenery of your country.

Now I sincerely invite you to my motherland， China and have a get-together. If so， I will accompany you to the attractions in China as well as introducing its more-than-5000-year-old culture to you. Whats more， hope to keep in contact with each other. Looking forward to your arrival.

Yours，

Li Hua

第一段recall這一句， 沒有遺漏要點exchange student， 還用了when引導(dǎo)定語從句，living引導(dǎo)后置定語。That is of such importance這一句，用到了such ... that句型和名詞importance，還用了in consequence自然地引入感謝，使邏輯更合理。extend一詞的改動非常恰當，反映出作者扎實的語言功底。

第二段加副詞initially，用現(xiàn)在分詞作伴隨狀語，what life held in store的改動可謂是畫龍點睛。而It is my privilege to live with這句話的改動可看出作者對語言運用純熟，定語從句、習慣用法get me out of that haze信手拈來。最后一句將觀賞風景和布朗夫婦聯(lián)系起來，這個強調(diào)句比最初列出的強調(diào)句更合適。另外用breath-taking取代beautiful也更高級。