廣州市越秀區(qū)育才實驗學(xué)校學(xué)生優(yōu)秀作文展

廣州市越秀區(qū)育才實驗學(xué)校學(xué)生優(yōu)秀作文展

現(xiàn)在很多學(xué)校都要求學(xué)生穿校服以便于管理，但對此同學(xué)們意見不一。有的同學(xué)支持，有的同學(xué)反對。請你根據(jù)以下提示寫一篇短文發(fā)表一下你的意見。

有的同學(xué)認(rèn)為：

1. 校服較為舒適，適合運動；

2. 校服顯示了學(xué)生良好的紀(jì)律（discipline）；

3. 校服讓學(xué)生在遇到困難時可以很快得到幫助。

有的同學(xué)認(rèn)為：

1. 校服比較單調(diào)，不夠時尚；

2. 校服價格偏高，有些校服的質(zhì)量也不好；

3. 家里衣服已經(jīng)很多，沒必要再增加多余的衣服。

你的建議或意見 ……

作文要求：

1. 詞數(shù)80～100左右；

2. 準(zhǔn)確表達(dá)出表格中的內(nèi)容，要有自己的見解。

Many schools ask students to buy school uniforms.

初三（2）班●石慧熙

Many schools ask students to buy school uniforms. It is convenient for schools to manage if students wear school uniforms. However， students have different ideas.

Some students agree on buying uniforms for some reasons. Firstly，uniforms are not only comfortable but also suitable for various kinds of sports. Secondly， students can show their excellent discipline by wearing uniforms. Further more， uniforms can obviously make the students who are in trouble get help quickly.

However， some students are against buying uniforms. They think uniforms are boring and unfashionable. Besides that， the quality of some uniforms isn’t good， which is not worth the high price. Above all， it is unnecessary for the students who have plenty of clothes at home to buy extra ones.

In my point of view， I hope schools can allow students to design the uniforms so that there will be no argument about uniforms any more.

朱楓老師點評：本篇作文結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，開頭總起說明學(xué)校要求學(xué)生穿校服的目的，接著分述支持的與不支持的同學(xué)的觀點，最后發(fā)表了自己的建議和看法。全文過渡自然，使用了很多連接詞，如however、above all和besides that等。文中的簡單句、并列句與復(fù)合句并用，也是一大亮點。不僅有it is...to do...，so that...，not only...but also這樣常用的句型和結(jié)構(gòu)，也有像“the quality of some uniforms isn’t good， which is not worth the high price”這樣的定語從句。

初三（2）班●崔靜

Many schools ask students to buy school uniforms. However， students share different opinions on this matter.

On the one hand， some students think that uniforms are comfortable to wear and suitable for sports. They show the great discipline among students. What’s more， when a student who wears uniform is in trouble， he may get help from others more quickly and can be found more easily.

On the other hand， others think that uniforms are pretty ordinary and lack of fashion. The price is not always reasonable while some of them are still of poor quality. Since students have plenty of clothes at home， there is no need for more.

In my point of view， uniforms carry our memories as students. They represent the intrinsic spirit of a school. So I am willing to buy the uniforms.

朱楓老師點評：本篇作文語言簡潔，要點齊全，行文流暢。文中be of poor quality、price is not reasonable等要點的表達(dá)準(zhǔn)確而新穎。在最后一段中，作者表達(dá)出了內(nèi)心對校服的真實看法，字里行間流露出真情實感。

初三（2）班●蔣沛霖

Many schools ask students to buy school uniforms. Some students suppose that school uniforms are comfortable to wear and suitable for exercise. And the uniforms show great discipline. Most importantly， if a student wears school uniform， he will be found easily and can get help from others soon when he is in trouble.

However， other students don’t think so. They think that the types of school uniforms are too simple. This makes them boring and not fashionable. The price of them is quite high while the quality is not good. What’s more， students think it’s not necessary to buy more clothes as they have had a lot at home.

In my opinion， I suggest schools should listen to students’ ideas. So why not design a kind of school uniform that is comfortable， fashionable and affordable？

朱楓老師點評：本篇作文結(jié)構(gòu)合理，句式多樣，過渡自然。不同句型的使用避免了句式的單調(diào)性，使文章的表達(dá)更加飽滿，例如It is not necessary to...，I suggest that...等句式，以及if、while等引導(dǎo)的狀語從句。另外，小作者在結(jié)尾處使用“why not...？”的句型進(jìn)行設(shè)問，能夠

留給讀者更多的思考空間。