NAMELESS TERROR

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NAMELESS TERROR

Sisterhood， loss， and the genesis of fear

忽然響起的電話，看似歡樂(lè)的 小丑，五顏六色的氣球－－尋常事物為何讓人莫名恐懼？

1. TELEPHONE

Ring ring！

Fang Yueru jumped up as she brought the handset near her face to speak， the sharp tone of the bell still lingering in her ears. “How do you do！This is the administrative division； how may I assist you？”

“Do you really have to go so all-out？You're a part time assistant…” Su Xiao， Fang's course mate， scrunched up her face as she looked in the mirror. They were used to living the chill life together—staying at home worked for them. If it weren't for their university's requirement that they show some kind of internship experience to graduate， they never would have found this part-time job，ending up as assistants in a small，stuffy room.

Being an assistant was pretty simple. Go upstairs， go downstairs， pick up and deliver this or that document，answer the phone. The phone was a hassle. It had a dial and was practically an antique. Su Xiao couldn't resist touching it the frst time she saw it. But as soon as she put her fngers on it， it rang， startling her. The caller was a wrong number that hung up after two rings.

Su Xiao said two very exaggerated hellos as she picked up the handset so that the middle-aged female manager next door wouldn't think they were slacking off. This time Fang had somehow backed herself up to the doorway， where she was gripping the frame， face pallid as beads of sweat dripped from her face， staining her lightly-colored t-shirt.

“Hey， what's wrong？” asked Su Xiao.

Fang stared at the phone， as she remarked in a low voice： “Why didn't you pick it up earlier？”

Thus began her relationship with the phone. Every time it rang， no matter where she was in the offce，she'd run over and make sure she picked it up before it rang twice. Su Xiao was confused. Seeing how Fang lost her mind every time the phone rang， the fear in her eyes， she thought she looked like a puppet on strings. If the phone only rang once before the caller hung up， Fang would sit uneasily in her place for the rest of the day. On this particular day， the two of them were descending the staircase when the offce phone rang again.

Ring！

The sonic waves from the phone's ringer assaulted the tympanic membrane. Su Xiao never thought the ring of a phone could be so intense. She groaned as she walked on， but Fang reacted like she'd just received a death threat and ran back to the offce.

“Come on， we're already off the clock！”

Exasperated， Su Xiao could only follow. Having to run in her high heels，F(xiàn)ang tripped as she scrambled up the stairs and let out a miserable scream. Su Xiao caught up to her and helped her up， “Look at you， why are you in such a hurry？”

“Don't mind me， go get the phone！”Fang yelled at Su Xiao as she clutched her knee. The extent of her panic frightened Su Xiao， who had no choice but to run even faster to the offce. Just as she reached the door，the shrill ringing of the phone ceased，infuriating Su Xiao， who stamped her foot as Fang hobbled over. Afraid Fang would lose it again， Su Xiao quickly said， “You're really overdoing it here. The offce is already locked， so we couldn't have gotten to the phone no matter how fast we hurried.” Fang ignored her explanation， and fell to

MONSTER FUJl怪物不二

Monster Fuji is a post-90s writer who won first prize in the 2011 New Concept Writing Contest， a national writing contest known for jumpstarting the careers of many aspiring young writers. A keen observer of urban youth， she has published two books and writes columns for youth magazines and Douban Read， one of the largest digital publishing platforms in China. Monster Fuji focuses largely on romance and suspense. Her suspense stories are a mixture of refreshing innocence and a twist of psychological analysis.

her knees， her expression suddenly changing as she muttered： “We missed the call， we missed the call…”

“Why are you so scared？” Su Xiao had to ask. “Tell me， maybe you'll feel a bit better.”

“At frst， I didn't know，” Fang trembled as she shook her head. “I was just terrifed. When I'd hear the ring， my hair would stand on end， I felt like something wasn't right. Youdon't think it's frightening？ So quiet，and then all of a sudden， ‘ring ring，' seemingly without end！ You don't know what will happen if you pick up the phone， but if you don't pick up，something unexpected might happen. I have recurring nightmares now， all about unanswered phones. A phone just rings and rings in an empty room. It's so noisy！ I have to hide in the corner， but it rings louder and louder and louder， and then the entire phone explodes！ I don't know who's killed but blood and fesh fy everywhere. It's terrifying！ Then I dreamed of the phone， and I was going to pick it up，so that it wouldn't explode and kill anyone， but every time I'm too late！”Fang's eyes were beginning to tear up. “Every time， I'm just a little bit off. No matter how hard I run， I can't change the outcome！ I get closer and closer each time， and I saw clearer and clearer. I slowly discovered that the phone wasn't a phone， but a human head！ Covered in blood！ And it explodes right before my eyes！ I…”As Fang spoke， Su Xiao began totremble too.

Then the phone rang again.

The ringing was amplifed，somehow urgent and strange.

“I have to pick up that phone！”Fang pulled open the hallway window outside the offce， and， ignoring her injured knee， pulled herself inside.

“Hey！” Su Xiao yelled out， but Fang was already in the offce. The phone was still ringing， as if it would never stop. Su Xiao stood on her tiptoes and looked through the window to see Fang staggering toward the desk，where she managed to pick up the phone before it stopped ringing.

“Hi there， this is the administrative division， how may I…” Fang couldn't fnish her sentence.

Over the wire came a voice， a woman gently saying， “Yueru dear，pick up the phone.”

Fang's entire body froze up. “What？

What are you talking about？”

“Yueru dear， I said pick up the phone.” It sounded as if the woman was laughing softly. “Come on，Yueru， pick that phone up. Pick up the phone！”

This voice was familiar； it was…Fang's entire body began to tremble，as she raised her eyes to see the hallway outside slowly darkening， but she could see Su Xiao's head poking up over the ledge of the window. If Su Xiao was out there looking worriedly at her， then who was the voice on the phone—who was that Su Xiao？

The Su Xiao outside in the hallway looked as if she'd just discovered something strange and waved hurriedly at Fang.

“Why don't you pick up the phone？”The voice in the phone said sharply.“Fang Yueru， why don't you pick up the phone？”

2. cLOWN

Su Na didn't like her mysterious new sister. One rainy night， she had a high fever， and spent a short stay in the hospital. She didn't think that when she came back she'd be stuck with a little sister two years younger than herselft that came out of nowhere. Her parents said she was the child of distant relatives， and as they'd fallen quite ill， she had to come live with them. Although Su Na was only ten years old， she didn't quite buy their explanation. “Take your sister out to play，” her mother pushed， making it seem like she was in a hurry for them to develop a sisterly bond. The adults didn't understand that there are problems in a child's world， too.

Su Na had taken her little sister out to join in the games with the children in the yard and was introducing her to the others one by one. “This is my little sister， this is my little sister.” The little girl was very quiet， as if she could sense that she had been abandoned and didn't want to inconvenience her new hosts.

Slowly， Su Na and her little sister came to get on nicely. She found it odd， however， that her little sister didn't mention missing her parents. No matter how she asked， her sister wouldn't speak about her family.

Children's Day came around， and the kids in the yard were all talking about where to go， especially Professor Fang's daughter， who lives in the building opposite. She was said to have heart problems from a very young age and was always bragging about how well her parents treated her and what gifts they bought her， making the others jealous.

Su Na didn't like being around this younger child， fnding her arrogant， so she didn't even bother remembering her name. Su Na's family was poor，with her parents working odd jobs，unable to give her or her little sister any surprises. Because of that， when her little sister was listening to the Fang family daughter talk about her plans for the holiday， Su Na pulled her away， back toward home. The little girl began to cry， which made Su Na feel bad.

“Where would you like to go for the holiday？ Maybe I can take you，” Su Na said.

“I want to see clowns，” said the little girl， a pitiful look on her face. “I love clowns.”

Su Na's chest tightened. She knew there was a promotion at a mall near their home where clowns would perform magic every night. The event was defnitely free to watch. She didn't know why， but when she heard the word “clown” she felt a tinge of panic each time.

“Sister， let's go see the clowns，” said the little girl as she shook Su Na's arm. “Just for a little bit.”

Seeing the clowns sounded fne， Su Na agreed. Her heart was beating fercely and her legs felt a bit weak，but she couldn't think why. She picked up her little sister and headed toward the mall.

Soon， they arrived at the performance venue. “Sister， let's push our way in to see，” the little girl called out happily， dragging Su Na into the crowd. It was dusk， and the crowd was flled with children and adults that had just got off work. Su Na told herself to keep calm.

Suddenly， her little sister let go of her hand. She panicked as she stood on her tiptoes to look over the crowd but could only see the silhouettes of backs.

Su Na cried out. A number of people turned around to look at her， but she wasn't paying attention as she forced people out of her way and pushed forward. The audience members complained as she pushed all the way to the front. The brightlycolored stage came into view.

Two clowns danced a silly dance on stage， and a clown below the stage came toward her. Su Na trembled as she looked at him， terrifed. His face was painted powder white， and he had a large， blood red mouth. His eyes looked as if they'd been gouged out， like two hideous scars. More offputting was that he was incredibly thin and wore large， striped rompers. He staggered toward her， as if an invisible crowd was trying its best to hold him back. When he fopped down next to Su Na， he put on a large， red ball of a nose， and appeared to spasm. Su Na screamed as she struggled to climb away and hid in the crowd of people.

She was so terrifed that she could not open her eyes. When she looked at the clown， she felt an oppressive sense of dread. She breathed through her mouth as pea-sized beads of sweat dripped down her skin， when suddenly she heard cheers from the crowd：“Look at that little girl！”

Su Na hurriedly pushed her way back to the stage. Between the two dancing clowns， there was another little fgure. She was wearing her sister's dress， and her sister's sandals，and her sister's pageboy haircut， but her face...

Su Na trembled all over.

The little girl's face was painted with white powder and she had a smile that extended from ear to ear， red as fresh blood. Her eyes were scarlet red， two little points of intense crimson， emitting an eerie kind of light. She moved her arms like a wooden puppet， making odd，exaggerated movements. Rounds of applause and cheers erupted from the audience.

“Sister！” Su Na called out as she shivered. She pushed through the fear in her heart to force her way up to the stage. “Sister， get down！”

Her sister on the stage didn't seem to recognize her； then， as if she'd realized something， she cracked a smile.

“Somebody help me！” Su Na called out to the crowd， her eyes already flling with tears. The audience just stood there. Their laughter was sharp and frightening， unconcerned accomplices to the clowns. Su Na's chest rose and sank as she lost hope. She was going to have to save her sister herself.

She gritted her teeth as she rushed to the center of the stage and grabbed her sister's arm to pull her off the stage， only to have the three clowns grab her sister's other arm. Then，the tempo of the music changed. An odd， silly song pumped out from the speakers as Su Na fought the clowns in a tug of war， like some kind of slapstick comedy. The audience roared with laughter， believing it to be part of the show.

Suddenly， the lights on the stage went out. The performance was over，and people began to fle out. But the clowns held on. Su Na glared at their faces and her sister's face， the red paint starting to melt， fowing in rivulets like fresh blood.

The bloody-faced clowns smiled horrifying smiles， and Su Na's heart felt like it was going to give out. This scene was so familiar， as if it were deeply buried in her memories. Suddenly， she thought of that rainy night， as she lay with a high fever in the back of a busted old minivan. She trembled alone in the back seat. Amidst the haze， her mother said something about getting her to the hospital quickly， that her condition was serious. “No，” said her father.“This is our best chance. Let's get this done and then go to the hospital，there's time.”

“What， how？” asked her mother.

“I've got it covered， just wait for me.”

Her father and mother got out of the car. She spent a long time inside， everything outside shrouded in rain. Her stomach felt awful， and she felt as though she might vomit. She struggled to sit up and pressed her pale face to the car window. She saw in the rain， under the street lights， three fgures. Mother，father， and a small girl. Father was hunched over， as if he were pulling a very large object behind him. They quickly arrived at the vehicle. Su Na quickly lay down. Then， the back door opened， and her father threw whatever large object he was carrying inside， onto the last row of seats. It was too long， however， and the end stuck out， right in front of Su Na's face.

“Ah！” Su Na screamed loudly. In the darkness， there was a face painted with white powder and blood bubbling out of a large， odd wound. It was a dead clown. Su Na's stomach turned， and memories and reality began to blend. She called out her little sister's name. “Su Xiao！” Then，everything went black and she lost consciousness.

3. BALLOON

“Today we have a new classmate in our freshman class. Please everyone，welcome her.” Everyone applauded. The girl standing on the stage smiled broadly and introduced herself.“Hello everyone， I'm Fang Yueru. I'm transferring here because of my dad's work. I'm happy to be your classmate.” After she fnished speaking， she calmly looked over everyone in the room and found that next to the window in the frst row there was a girl with short hair，looking at her in a strange way.

At the afternoon class meeting，F(xiàn)ang told everyone about her father's story. “My father's a psychologist，and a special consultant to the Public Security Bureau. He's helped them crack a number of big cases. Everyone calls him Professor Fang. When I was eight， my father cracked a serial murder case which led to the arrest of a crazy couple！ He was recognized internationally， so he took us abroad while he worked investigating and studying. I'm back now， which is why I'm joining in the middle of the year.”The students sighed in admiration. The girl with the short hair， however，opened her mouth to ask a question.“Can you tell me about that serial murder case that happened when you were eight？”

Fang smiled， embarrassed. “I was too young， I don't remember anything. If I hadn't seen the news clippings my mother saved when we were packing， I wouldn't even have known he was involved. He won't tell me about it when I ask him， either. Maybe it's some kind of secret.”

The other students were brimming with questions， more than Fang could handle. She looked at the short-haired girl who was now sitting there silently，an odd smile on her face.

During the class meeting activities，the class leader recommended that Fang show the other students a few small psychological tests to get the mood going.

Fang accepted and said， “My father's research involved the concept， ‘nameless terror'. He says that humans are the weakest animals because we can be frightened by so many things. However， sometimes we have to admit that we're scared for no reason. This kind of terror gets into your bones， almost disables you. However， all feelings of fright have a reason， an origin， so you must fnd that source and change it so that you needn't fear anymore. Does anyone have a fear like that， a phobia？”

The students all thought excitedly，and one boy exclaimed： “I know that Su Xiao is afraid of balloons.” Just as he fnished speaking， a number of other students chimed in. “That's right， she's terrifed of balloons！” “Yes，that's right， she's scared to death of them.”

Fang felt the name was somehow familiar. The odd girl with the short hair stood up. “That's right， I am afraid of balloons，” she said， coolly glaring at Fang. “To me they are like colored bombs. You never know when they're going to explode. They look harmless， and then ‘pop'. You don't even have time to hide. That infated sheet splits open， shatters into fragments， lands on your face—of course they're scary.”

“Let me show you something，”said Fang. At her request， the class leader retrieved a red balloon from the rummage box and blew it up.“Su Xiao， look here，” Fang held the balloon out to her. “Conquer your inner fear. If you don't squeeze it， it won't pop. And if it does pop， you'll be fne. Look.”

Su Xiao felt like she was going to lose it. Small beads of sweat appeared on her forehead. She tried to control the chattering of her teeth， to make herself calm.

The terror hidden in her heart fooded to the surface. A still room，a dark closet， a large balloon hung in the air. Her older sister's panicked breathing. “Little sister， don't go over there！” The eight-year-old Su Xiao walked curiously over to look at such a big balloon. She felt a mischievous desire to pop it. As she stuck out her hand， it popped as soon as she touched it. A liquid shot out and splashed all over her face. The horrible smell made her stomach turn. She looked up and upon the “balloon” was a human face. The expression on the face was tortured， distorted. Her heart full of pain， she couldn't help but call out，“Mama…”

The class bell rang.

Fang took the balloon away from Su Xiao， who was seemingly lost in herself.

“When you were young you may have seen something similar to a balloon explode， which left a shadow on you，” Fang said.

“I know what kind of shadow you are talking about，” Su Xiao said coldly. “But I don't just know mine. I know yours.”

“Mine？” Fang's chest tightened.

At dusk they walked shoulder to shoulder along the road.

“When I was eight， my parents were murdered. It was a stormy night， and my family wanted to have a celebration for my birthday. My father dressed as a clown to amuse

me， and my mother， pregnant with her second child， made some food for me，” Su Xiao said. “Then， someone with a grudge against my father came around. He demanded money from

my father， saying my father's company owed him. My father wanted to explain， but the man had a hammer and pulled it out and smashed my father's head in. My mother was terrifed， and the man killed her as she went to my father's body. I hid，trembling in the closet as the guyransacked the house. A woman came in. It looked like his wife， and she found me and took me away. I was afraid of being killed， so I tried not to cry. The man looked really angry. He dragged my father's corpse away into the rain. After that， I became that family's second child. Their older daughter was named Su Na， she took good care of me. Sadly， after seeing the corpse covered in blood， like some kind of wrecked clown， she developed a phobia. On Children's Day she took me to see clowns. I climbed on the stage to dance， which triggered her memory of the incident and she fainted in the square. Thankfully， one of my neighbors took me home. That guy was your father， Professor Fang.”

“My dad？” Fang asked， startled.

“Yes， your father hypnotized Su Na and found out all about the murders on that rainy night. But he didn't connect me to any of it， and I dared not say anything. He recommended that I take Su Na with me to fnd the house from that rainy night， and she agreed. But Su Na couldn't remember for a while and wanted to bury those emotions. So， Professor Fang said seriously that if I ever found anything that I should call him. If he was in the study， his daughter， Yueru， would defnitely pick up the phone.”

“Defnitely， defnitely pick up the phone…” Fang trembled as she repeated the phrase.

Su Xiao laughed coolly as she continued speaking， “Then， it turned out that the house that my sister Su Na took me to when she fgured things out was my house. A house with its own door and courtyard. After the incident，nobody found out. I remembered how the killer dragged my father's corpse away， but what about my mother？I ran inside to see that my mother's body was hanging from a ceiling beam and that her pregnant belly had swollen， like a balloon. And then…”

“The balloon exploded？” Fang covered her month in terror.

“The liquids from her abdominal cavity exploded， covering me，” Su Xiao's eyes began to tear up. “And then， the killer， that is to say my sister's father， appeared across the street and walked quickly toward us. I didn't know if he'd been following us the entire time. My sister pushed me forcefully away and said in a quiet，panicked voice， ‘Call Professor Fang's house. Hurry！ I'll handle this.' I ran out the back door， and rushed into a store to make the call. I thought that my sister's father wouldn't hurt her， and that Professor Fang， or his daughter， would pick up the phone，but…”

Fang closed her eyes， pained.

“Ring ring ring…It rang once， twice，three times...” Su Xiao's tears spilled down her face. “I called once， twice，three times…I'm so stupid. When my dumb eight-year-old ass thought to call out， the killer was already there. And my sister， my lovely sister Su Na，was strangled to death in my house.”“I didn't pick up the phone… I…”Fang squatted down， head in her hands. “I didn't pick up the phone！”

“Someone thankfully called the police， and I told them everything. They seized the killers. And then，”Su Xiao laughed coldly. “Your father took the credit. He said some nonsense about criminal psychology. His essay got an award， but he was still worried about something， his daughter—you. You were so caught up in playing that someone died！ You should hurt， you should feel guilty. More importantly，you've got a serious heart condition. You are too weak， too fragile. They should call you Miss Glass！ To erase your psychological scarring， he hypnotized you， took you abroad so you'd have no memory， which is why you didn't recognize me when you saw me， and why you won't the next time.”

“I'm sorry…I'm sorry…” Fang trembled all over， sweat pouring down like rain. She could barely stand up.

“What？” Fang asked loudly， as she couldn't hear anything. The only thing in her mind was a phone， endlessly ringing. “Ring…ring…ring…” Her mind， again， going blank.

Outside of the offce， Su Xiao smiled at the terrifed Fang clutching the phone. She'd lied to Fang before when she said she'd forgiven her. How could she？ The source of her terror was still there. Like life and death， fear can't be destroyed.

The revelation was hard on Fang's weak heart.

It's never too late for revenge， Su Xiao told herself quietly.

It was Children's Day—time to go watch the clowns. She missed Su Na more on this day than any other.

- TRANSLATED BY MOY HAU （梅皓）

's Note： I often wonder，where people's biggest fears come from. Uncertainty may bring restlessness， but my conclusion is that the biggest fear originates from the bright side of humanity—regrets and remorse due to our inborn kindness and righteousness. I wrote “Nameless Terror” based on this concept. In contrast to what the plot may suggest， I don't believe in taking revenge and getting even. I think true salvation of the heart comes from weakening oneself. Perhaps only a clear conscience can strip off any disturbances or fears we might have.