YOU'VE GOT QUESTIONS，SHE'S GOT ANSWERS

（BUT YOU PROBABlY WON'T lIKE THEM）

?

麻煩阿姨 AGONY AYI

YOU'VE GOT QUESTIONS，SHE'S GOT ANSWERS

（BUT YOU PROBABlY WON'T lIKE THEM）

I recentIy got into a graduate p rogram， but shou Id I quit m y job？ W ise Ayi， p Iease te II me what to do？

Rainbow

All those fresh 畢業(yè)生 （bìyèshēng, graduates） without jobs and now you want to quit？ You're 暴殄天物 （bào tiǎn tiān wù, recklessly wasting God's good gift）！ Why don't you just adm it that you don't want to 承擔責任 （chéngdān zérèn, take responsibility） for your life anymore？ Wasting your 可憐的（k0lián de, pathetic） savings on som e program or it is your parents who will pay for it？ Grow up and stop dream ing！ My daughter only had a high school education but she turned out fine 堅持 （jiānchí, sticking to） her job as a waitress—well, that, and marrying a rich husband. So why don't you just do the same？

Is there a TCM remedy you can recommend for m y a IIergies？

Simon Sinuses

Yes, it's called stop being a 窩囊廢 （wōnangfèi, wuss）, rich boy！ Have you ever seen a 環(huán)衛(wèi)工 （huánwèigōng, sanitary worker） with allergies as they sweep dead flower buds off the streets？ You 嬌氣的 （jiāoqì de, spoiled） brat w ith your 一塵不染的 （yì chén bù rǎn de, spotless） apartment. I bet you even bathe every day. Your 免疫系統(tǒng) （miǎnyì xìtǒng, imm une system） is like a bunch of idle civil servants in a big fat governm ent agency, hanging around w ith no work to do！Go take the subway, eat some of the chuanr in the night market, and get in touch with some real 細菌 （xìjūn, germ s）.

Dear Investor， wou Id you Iike to hear about an exce IIent investment p Ian for you and your fam iIy？ You can doub Ie your capita I in a year.

22nd Century Investment

Oh please, everyone knows the quickest and easiest w ays to get rich—you can find them in the 刑法 （xíngfǎ, Crim inal Law）. Besides, I'm p retty sure you are 垃圾郵件 （lājī yóujiàn, trash m ail） that shou ld end up in m y spam folder. I am just too bored of the usual 雞毛蒜皮!（jīmáo suànpí, chicken feather and garlic skin； frivolous m atters）. People w rite to m e all the time to solve their stupid p roblem s！ Now, you 詐騙犯 （zhàpiànfàn, frauds） think of m e as your 人傻錢多 （rénshǎ qiánduō, rich dumm y） but you cou ldn't be m ore w rong！ I am both brillian t and broke. So why don't you m ove on to som ething more productive, like sharpening your paper box-m aking skills—you will need them in prison.

Got questions for ou r Agony Ayi？ Send them to agonyayi@theworldofchinese.com

THE WORLD OF CHINESE