英語(yǔ)書面表達(dá)奪“帥”妙法

【名師簡(jiǎn)介】尹繼友：湖北省黃岡市拔尖人才，全國(guó)教研優(yōu)秀教師，現(xiàn)代英語(yǔ)研究所研究員，全國(guó)多家英語(yǔ)刊物的特約編輯。主編或參與編寫教輔書籍20余本，出版了個(gè)人專著《尹氏口訣英語(yǔ)考試必備》《尹氏英語(yǔ)朗朗口訣法》。

筆者連續(xù)多年從事高三英語(yǔ)教學(xué)并參加書面表達(dá)的閱卷工作，發(fā)現(xiàn)書面表達(dá)的平均得分都不高，現(xiàn)把高考書面表達(dá)閱卷的得分點(diǎn)和寫作踩分技巧總結(jié)出來(lái)，助力2016年高考。

Part 1：“形”“神”不散

英語(yǔ)寫作要求“形”不散，“神”也不能散，這是考生在寫作文時(shí)尤其要注意的?！靶巍奔次恼碌木渥?，“形不散”即句與句之間要連貫，句子要有變化;“神”即文章的中心，“神不散”即文章要圍繞一個(gè)中心來(lái)進(jìn)行寫作。

一、骨架立體：“形”不散

1.使用連詞、副詞、過(guò)渡詞語(yǔ)，使句與句之間連貫。

例1：Yesterday I got up at 7：00. I got dressed and washed myself quickly. I rushed into the living-room. My mother was preparing breakfast. I had breakfast at 7：30， I got my bike and went to school.

這段文字的“形”是散的，句子不連貫。這樣的句子只是松散地堆積在一起，要使它們有機(jī)連貫，必須用一些詞語(yǔ)把它們連接起來(lái)?？梢愿臑椋?/p>

Yesterday I got up at 7：00. Then I got dressed and washed myself quickly. I rushed into the living-room. My mother was preparing breakfast. Later I had breakfast at 7：30. After that I got my bike and went to school.

2.使用多種句式，使文章句子表達(dá)富于變化。在一篇文章里，既有簡(jiǎn)單句，也要有復(fù)合句，如名詞性從句、定語(yǔ)從句、狀語(yǔ)從句等，或非謂語(yǔ)結(jié)構(gòu)、with獨(dú)立結(jié)構(gòu)等。

例2：On weekdays afternoon ，we had an hour for after-class activities from 4：20 to 5：20.The activities are divided into three parts. One is called sports. Sports include ball games， track and field gym and so on. The second is recreation. It includes singing， dacing and performance. The third is science and technology. It consists of science reading， computer operating and experiments.

文章通篇都用同樣結(jié)構(gòu)的句子，顯得很沒(méi)有生氣，千篇一律，得分較低。如果使用多種句式，表達(dá)方式多樣，就顯得生動(dòng)、有活力。上段文字可以改為：

On weekdays afternoon， we had an hour for after-class activities from 4：20 to 5：20.The activities are divided into three parts. One is called sports， including ball games， track and field gym and so on. Recreation is another part with singing， dacing and performance. The third is science and technology which consists of science reading， computer operating and experiments.

二、血肉豐滿：“ 神 ” 不散

“神”不散的有效辦法之一是利用主題句寫作，即公式main idea = topic sentence 1 + topic sentence 2?？忌紫纫_定文章的中心，每段列出一個(gè)主題句，由主題句來(lái)反映文章的中心內(nèi)容。其次，對(duì)每段的主題句展開寫作，主題句可以由若干個(gè)分句來(lái)支撐。

例3：

Dear Tom，

Im really glad to write to you.

Is everything ok？ I returned to my motherland six months ago. I often think of the days we spent together. Besides， I also appreciate it that you did me a favor on my English learning. On no account can I make such great progress without your timely help. Thank you again. Do you know how Mr Smith is now？ I feel like getting in contact with him. However， in no case can I find the address of him. Should you have the address or e-mail of him？ Please tell me as quickly as you can. I cant wait to write to him. The traditional Spring Festival is around the corner. Would you like to come here to enjoy the biggest festival celebrated by us？ I bet that you will have an enjoyable travel that cant be forgotten. Best wishes.

這篇書面表達(dá)是一篇佳作， 語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯應(yīng)用準(zhǔn)確， 句式靈活多樣，如運(yùn)用了倒裝句：On no account can I make such great progress without your timely help;定語(yǔ)從句： I often think of the days we spent together;非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞：enjoy the biggest festival celebrated by us。此外，文章也有效運(yùn)用了連接成分，如 besides、on no account、in no case，這使全文結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊，在一定程度上體現(xiàn)了考生扎實(shí)的語(yǔ)言功底。

從以上我們可以看出，掌握了大量的過(guò)渡詞和表達(dá)句式后，要恰當(dāng)運(yùn)用到書面表達(dá)里，這能使文章連貫、流暢。運(yùn)用豐富的詞匯和得當(dāng)?shù)木渥咏Y(jié)構(gòu)，可以給文章增色不少，從而使整篇文章因此而生輝，“神”不散的道理就在此。

Part 2：立“帥”、出“帥”和亮“帥”

古人云：“意猶帥也?！边@里的“帥”就是指文章的中心。寫人記事類的書面表達(dá)以記敘、描寫為主，有較強(qiáng)的情節(jié)性和形象性，更要注意立“帥”、出“帥”和亮“帥”。這三點(diǎn)是閱卷老師評(píng)卷的重要依據(jù)。立“帥”，即書面表達(dá)的論證要符合要求，不能跑偏。出“帥”，這里的“出”是指向和突出的意思，立“帥”之后，考生在取材、構(gòu)思、結(jié)構(gòu)和手法上都要接受“帥”的指揮，用各種方法突出“帥”的內(nèi)涵。最后看文章是否亮“帥”，這里的“亮”是指語(yǔ)言文字上的強(qiáng)調(diào)和深化。如果出“帥”是喻主題于情節(jié)和描寫之中的話，那么亮“帥”就是通過(guò)議論和抒情直接亮出帥旗。

例4：

Nowadays some students would not like to live in a dorm. Instead， they rent houses outside the school. There are advantages for both. Living in a dorm can increase friendship and cooperation between classmates. And of course it is safer. Whats more， it can be useful for their study. Unsatisfied as I was with my study， actually so that I have tried my whole heart and soul.

A dorm is more like a society， which enables students to learn to adapt to each other， thus preparing for the social life later. As for renting houses to live alone， it is better for study as you can feel free in your own room without being interrupted by others. Every student should know that although you maybe failed the exam， but you can also be useful to the country. We must have a clear goal.Then we will have a great power to work and studying .As a result， you can have more time and devote yourself to studying whole-heartedly. But there may be some safety problems as you live outside the school.

Anyhow，as a student， I prefer living in a dorm.In a word， now our country is developing more and more faster and so we need more and more people who have good education.I believe it this is a good chance for me to show my ability.

這篇習(xí)作的論述緊緊圍繞“學(xué)生住校和校外租房”各自的好處這一主題，論述沒(méi)有跑偏，立“帥”很成功。在文章構(gòu)思上，作者客觀論述了住校和校外租房對(duì)學(xué)生的有利影響，最后以anyhow亮明自己的態(tài)度。文章符合學(xué)生年齡的特點(diǎn)，不老氣橫秋，出“帥”的過(guò)程也是表現(xiàn)學(xué)生情趣的過(guò)程。

在亮“帥”方面，作者運(yùn)用了較豐富的詞匯和表達(dá)結(jié)構(gòu)，如instead、as for、adapt to和定語(yǔ)從句、非謂語(yǔ)結(jié)構(gòu)等。但也有一些瑕疵：actually這個(gè)詞通常用來(lái)更正錯(cuò)誤的信息， 這里情況并非如此，因此應(yīng)該用as a result;同一句中用了although就不需要用but了;between classmates使用錯(cuò)誤，這是中文式表達(dá);第二段第二句出現(xiàn)用詞錯(cuò)誤，應(yīng)該把can改成may。

有難題解不開，有學(xué)習(xí)經(jīng)驗(yàn)要分享，可隨時(shí)呼叫《求學(xué)》智囊群，群號(hào)：115940561。