喬萬青
申請(qǐng)信(application letter)是在求職和留學(xué)時(shí)常使用的一種信件,也是高考書面表達(dá)中的一個(gè)命題方向,實(shí)用性極強(qiáng)。其語言應(yīng)該簡潔、明確,如實(shí)地反映寫信人的才能、成績、愿望和目標(biāo)。這種信既要令人印象深刻,又不能給人以浮夸不實(shí)之感,所以拿捏語言很重要。
[文章架構(gòu)]
一般常用經(jīng)典三段式謀篇布局:
首段簡要說明信息來源,并陳述自己能勝任;
主體段要突出自身特點(diǎn),彰顯能力,具體說明勝任原因;
末段表明決心和希冀,并請(qǐng)求肯定答復(fù)。
[遣詞造句]
1. 常用詞匯
(1) 話題詞匯
掌握與申請(qǐng)信相關(guān)的話題詞匯是必須的,這是信件成功的基礎(chǔ)。如:
advertisement;position/post,apply for/application/applicant,candidate/consult,inquire/enquire,thankful/appreciative/grateful,interview;communicate,opportunity,major in/graduate from,be good at .../do well in .../be experienced in .../be well acquainted with .../have a good knowledge/command/understanding of ...,in ones spare/free time,consider/take ... into consideration,look forward to ...。
(2) 銜接詞匯
和其他書面表達(dá)一樣,書信也需要“起”“承”“轉(zhuǎn)”“合”的詞匯來實(shí)現(xiàn)完美銜接過渡。對(duì)于申請(qǐng)信來說,尤其需要用于“承”的過渡詞。如:
in addition (to),additionally,besides,furthermore,moreover,whats more,certainly,obviously,indeed,especially,particularly,in particular,truly,in fact,not only ... but also ...,as well as。
2. 常用句式
(1) 開篇句式
Im writing to inquire about the possibility of ...
Im writing this letter to express my interest in ...
Im writing to apply for the post/position as ...
Im writing to recommend myself as a qualified candidate for ...
Im writing to tell you that Im suitable for the job you are advertising ...
(2)主體段句式
Im good at ..., especially ...
Not only do I have a good understanding of ...,but also I am well acquainted with ...
Approachable and helpful, Im easy to get along with.
Young as I am, I have much relevant experience in ... and ...
Im hardworking and dedicated, enjoying ...
(3)末段句式
I hope you will be kind enough to consider my application.
I would appreciate it a lot if you could offer me a precious opportunity to an interview.
Thank you for your consideration and Im looking forward to getting your favorable reply.
Giving me the chance, youll never regret having made the decision.
3. 寫作模板
Dear Sir or Madam,
When learning from the advertisement/newspaper that ,I feel really interested in and I am writing to apply .(信息來源,并說明自己感興趣)
Im , a year old , who . Im good at , especially . Furthermore, not only do I have a good knowledge of , but also I am well acquainted with . Most importantly, I enjoy and have much experience in . Undoubtedly, I am a suitable candidate for . (個(gè)人情況介紹,能勝任的原因)
Thank you for your consideration and Im looking forward to your favorable reply. (表明期望)
Yours truthfully,
[習(xí)作點(diǎn)評(píng)]
我們來看看這樣一道題目:
假如你叫李華,今年的中國國際旅游節(jié)下個(gè)月將在你們城市舉行,組委會(huì)擬招聘一些高中生擔(dān)任導(dǎo)游,你打算應(yīng)聘。根據(jù)下列內(nèi)容寫給組委會(huì)一封信。
1. 自我介紹(年齡、性別);
2. 英語水平(口語表達(dá)能力等);
3. 特殊優(yōu)勢(shì)(相關(guān)經(jīng)歷、對(duì)當(dāng)?shù)鼐包c(diǎn)的了解、溝通能力);
4. 你的承諾。
注意:120字左右;所給內(nèi)容不計(jì)入總字?jǐn)?shù);
可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié),以使行文連貫。
習(xí)作一
Dear Sir or Madam,
Im very glad to know that China International Tourism Festival will be held in our city next month. Id like to be an English tour guide for the festival.
①M(fèi)y name is Li Hua. Im a boy of 18. Im a senior 3 student in a local school. I believe I can do a good job for the festival. First of all, ②Im good at English and I can speak English fluently. Secondly, ③Im fond of traveling and Ive worked as an English tour guide at several great festivals before. Most importantly, ④I know our local tourist spots quite well and Im good at communicating with others.
I promise Ill try my best to offer my best service to the travelers from all over the world. I would be happy if I could be chosen as a tour guide.
Looking forward to your early reply.
truthfully,
Li Hua
這是一篇四檔習(xí)作。按照高考改卷中對(duì)第四檔習(xí)作的給分標(biāo)準(zhǔn),本篇書面表達(dá)有如下優(yōu)點(diǎn):
1. 完全完成了試題規(guī)定的任務(wù),覆蓋所有主要內(nèi)容,即試題中呈現(xiàn)的要點(diǎn):自我介紹(self-introduction), 英語水平(English level), 特殊優(yōu)勢(shì)(special advantages over others)以及承諾(promise)。
2. 文中運(yùn)用的銜接詞First of all, Secondly, Most importantly使得文章層次分明,全文結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊。
3. 語法結(jié)構(gòu)或詞匯方面應(yīng)用基本準(zhǔn)確,達(dá)到了預(yù)期的寫作目的。尤其是表明能力的時(shí)候,分別用了Im good at ... 和 Im fond of ... ,盡量避免了重復(fù)表達(dá)。
這篇習(xí)作雖然具有上述可取之處,但仍然存在一些不足:
文章單句較多,并且多采用并列句,使得文章句式單一;高級(jí)詞匯和高級(jí)句式的使用很乏力,顯得文字駕馭能力一般。所以,可以進(jìn)行信息的適當(dāng)整合,使得句子表達(dá)更有完整性。如:
文中①處三個(gè)簡單句其實(shí)可以構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整意群,屬于個(gè)人基本信息介紹,完全可改成Im Li Hua, a boy of 18, (who is) a senior 3 student in a local school.或者M(jìn)y name is Li Hua, an 18-year-old senior 3 boy student in a local school. 這樣更簡潔、完整。
文中②處是由and連接的并列句,主語相同, 可以采用形容詞短語作狀語來增強(qiáng)句子的表達(dá),即:Good at English, I can speak English quite fluently。
文中③處也是由and連接的兩個(gè)并列句,屬于個(gè)人愛好和經(jīng)歷,可以用上not only ... but also ...句式。即:Not only am I fond of traveling but also Ive worked as an English tour guide at several great festivals before. 這樣兼顧了信息和高級(jí)句式。
文中④處也存在②③處的問題,但為使表達(dá)靈活多變,同時(shí)增加信件本身的說服力,可以補(bǔ)充申請(qǐng)者是“當(dāng)?shù)厝恕边@一信息,同時(shí)用現(xiàn)在分詞作狀語含蓄體現(xiàn)了申請(qǐng)者“優(yōu)秀的溝通能力”,讓習(xí)作內(nèi)外兼修(既體現(xiàn)要點(diǎn),又美化表達(dá))。即:As a native of this city, I know our local tourist spots quite well, making it easier for me to fully display my excellent ability of communicating with others.
修改之后習(xí)作如下:
Dear Sir or Madam,
Im very glad to know that China International Tourism Festival will be held in our city next month. Id like to be an English tour guide for the festival.
My name is Li Hua, an 18-year-old senior 3 boy student in a local school. I believe I can do a good job for the festival. First of all, good at English, I can speak English quite fluently. Secondly, not only am I fond of traveling but also Ive worked as an English tour guide at several great festivals before. Most importantly, as a native of this city, I know our local tourist spots quite well, making it easier for me to fully display my excellent ability of communicating with others.
I promise Ill try my best to offer my best service to the travelers from all over the world. I would be happy if I could be chosen as a tour guide.
Looking forward to your early reply.
Truthfully,
Li Hua
習(xí)作二
Dear Sir or Madam,
Knowing that China International Tourism Festival will be held in our city next month, I cannot wait to apply to be an English tour guide for the festival.
I am Li Hua,① an 18-year-old boy student in a local high school. As an English lover,②not only do I have a good knowledge of this language, but also I have developed a great fluency in it. Additionally, Ive worked as an English tour guide before,③accumulating much experience and knowing how to communicate with tourists. ④What matters most is that I, brought up here, am well acquainted with local tourist spots and traditional customs, ⑤which makes me a perfect choice.
I promise Ill spare no efforts to offer my best service to the travelers and youll never regret having approved my application.
Looking forward to your early reply.
Truthfully,
Li Hua
這是一篇五檔習(xí)作,學(xué)生實(shí)際得分23.5分(扣除卷面分)。按照高考改卷中對(duì)第五檔習(xí)作的給分標(biāo)準(zhǔn),本篇書面表達(dá)有如下優(yōu)點(diǎn):
1. 完全完成了試題規(guī)定的任務(wù),覆蓋所有內(nèi)容要點(diǎn),即試題中呈現(xiàn)的要點(diǎn)。
2. 有效地使用了語句間的連接成分(如:not only…but also, additionally),使全文結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊,一氣呵成。
3. 應(yīng)用了較多的語法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯,具備很強(qiáng)的語言運(yùn)用能力。
詞匯表達(dá)精煉到位,神形兼?zhèn)?。如:cannot wait to ...,as an English lover, developed a great fluency,accumulate much experience, be well acquainted with,spare no efforts,regret having approved。
高級(jí)語法結(jié)構(gòu),如①處同位語,②處倒裝句,③處分詞做狀語,④主語從句,⑤非限定性的定語從句的準(zhǔn)確使用,使得文章頓時(shí)全面升級(jí),顯示了這位同學(xué)扎實(shí)的基本功和超強(qiáng)的文字駕馭能力。本文不僅完全達(dá)到了預(yù)期的寫作目的,更是一篇高分習(xí)作。