就算長(zhǎng)痘又何妨

青春年少時(shí)，相信誰(shuí)都不可避免地長(zhǎng)過(guò)痘痘吧？當(dāng)痘痘悄然而至甚至“紛至沓來(lái)”，霸占了你臉部的“一方凈土”時(shí)，你會(huì)不忍直視它們嗎？你會(huì)無(wú)比在意、不愿見(jiàn)人嗎？其實(shí)，痘痘本沒(méi)有那么可怕，就看你如何看待它。本文的主人公就是一位內(nèi)心越來(lái)越強(qiáng)大的戰(zhàn)“痘”者，一起來(lái)看看他是如何在戰(zhàn)“痘”之路上成長(zhǎng)的吧！

At some point in the past year I developed a habit of avoiding mirrors. It was gradual and subconscious， but eventually it rooted itself in my mind.

Ultimately， I had an encounter with my reflection while washing my hands in a restaurant bathroom. It became apparent then what had driven me away from looking at myself ... I had The Reds.

Some might refer to The Reds as pimples1） or acne2）， but mine were not your everyman's3） pimples； what I was dealing with here were erupting lumps4） of flesh. Flaming red， no less. While other kids were popping5） zits6） after a week， I was nursing7） mine to "calm down a bit"， as my mother put it. The chance of them actually disappearing was almost laughable； my only hope was that they might just "take it down a notch8）" and level out9） to where my forehead skin usually rests.

Looking at myself in the restroom mirror only confirmed what I should have accepted long ago. My brothers had already taken up the duty of attacking me with comments such as "Ooh， I see Mt. Kilimanjaro is peaking mighty high up there on your forehead". How funny. Soon enough my forehead hosted what appeared to be the world's highest mountains： Everest， Kanchenjunga10）， McKinley11）. Each had a spot12） on my face to call its own13）. Somewhere deep down， I felt as if I had a vested interest14） in each and every one of them. If I was going to endure comments about how I should wash my face and quit eating greasy foods （which， I might note， does not stop acne）， at least I could become a bit more intimate with the temporary guests on my forehead.

I found myself staring at each pimple in the morning， mentally recording its growth and even applauding its development. I applauded more， of course， if it decreased its size in some rare but laudable15） act. Either way， friends and strangers were always willing to lend their tips and support. It was as if the citizens of my town had become overnight experts on dermatology16）. They spoke in a coy17） and indirect manner as if to avoid hurting feelings or sounding cruel： "What do you know about witch hazel18）？ I hear it does wonders for skin. Not that I'm saying you should use it， just telling you what I heard."

What they didn't understand was that The Reds are like some sort of advanced tuberculosis19）， resistant to drugs， able to change and thrive in any environment. The Reds don't just react to skin-care products. They act. If I ever did find an effective face wash， I soon realized that focusing on my forehead only caused a new flare-up20） on my cheek. Focus on scraping the face wash on my cheek， and the corner of my lip would bulge with a red welt21）， bigger than any I'd ever seen. When I thought I had my whole face covered， bumps formed beneath my eyebrows. The Reds were innovative agents22） of change， willing to go wherever a temporarily potent face wash forced them to go.

Sometimes I thought about my dad's situation. Before I was born， he developed skin cancer， which was successfully removed during a long， drawn-out surgery. Unfortunately， the procedure left him with a massive scar across his cheek. Of course， I never paid any attention to it， living with him and all， but in large crowds， he drew stares. A conversation with someone and you would soon notice that person listening to him while subconsciously itching or rubbing the side of their face， a constant reminder as to where their mind really was in the exchange23）. On a smaller scale， I noticed the same traits in people I encountered. While we started out speaking eye to eye， we ended up speaking eye to forehead， their gaze getting higher and higher.

Mentioning it only made things that much more awkward. It left me feeling less than human， knowing that my body—my face—was more important than who I was altogether.

But like many teen-centered issues， The Reds would eventually disappear. From Mt. Kilimanjaro on， each mountain toppled over. Some would leave scars from my constant scratching and squeezing， while others departed in a quieter manner， as if they had never erupted in the first place. Either way， I gradually settled with the embarrassment and grief I carried in my own face. The Reds or not， I decided I wouldn't let them keep me from enjoying the life I wanted to lead.

I think back to a trip to Universal Studios with my dad. We sat at a table finishing lunch before we headed toward another line for a ride. He ate casually， but between bites it seemed as if I were the only one aware of the visitors who happened to walk by and make note of his cheek. I leaned in to Dad and expressed my concern. "I really wish they wouldn't stare like that. What's their problem？" He barely glanced up from his food as he issued his response. "Who cares？ I know I don't， that much is certain. Let'em stare. Learned that lesson a long time ago."

Such simple wisdom hit me deep in my heart of hearts. He wasn't about to let anyone influence how he felt at the given moment. He's got a scar ... and it doesn't even matter， not to him at least. Maybe to the people walking by it did， but to him？ Not a chance. When we finished eating， we proceeded to have the time of our lives. Be it my forehead or his cheek， some would gawk24）， others would gape25）， but I can say with the utmost sincerity that we were the last to notice， and the last to care.

從去年的某個(gè)時(shí)候開(kāi)始，我逐漸養(yǎng)成了不愿照鏡子的習(xí)慣。這個(gè)習(xí)慣起初是無(wú)意識(shí)慢慢形成的，但最終在我的腦海里扎了根。

終于有一天，當(dāng)我在一家餐廳的洗手間洗手時(shí)，我無(wú)意中看到了鏡中的自己。令我一直無(wú)法直視自己的原因這下子清楚了——我長(zhǎng)了大紅包。

有的人也許會(huì)把這些大紅包叫做粉刺或痤瘡，不過(guò)，我長(zhǎng)的這些包可跟你們一般人長(zhǎng)的不一樣。我要對(duì)付的是突然大批冒出的腫塊，而且它們居然是鮮紅色的。當(dāng)別的孩子一周后就能把膿皰擠掉時(shí)，我的包在我的精心照顧之下只是變得——用我媽媽的話說(shuō)——“平靜了一些”。想讓它們真正消失幾乎是個(gè)笑話，我唯一的希望是它們可以剛好“稍加收斂一下”，平復(fù)到我的額頭皮膚本來(lái)的高度。

看著洗手間鏡子里的自己只是證實(shí)了我早就該承認(rèn)的事實(shí)。我的兄弟們?cè)缫褜⒋驌粑乙暈榧喝?，比如他們?huì)評(píng)論說(shuō)：“嗬，我看見(jiàn)乞力馬扎羅山在你的腦門上冒得好高好高吶?！闭婧眯?。沒(méi)用多久，我的腦門上看起來(lái)就好像是世界最高峰都來(lái)安家了一樣，有珠穆朗瑪峰、干城章嘉峰、麥金利峰。每座高峰都在我的臉上有自己名下的一個(gè)包。在我心底的某個(gè)角落，我覺(jué)得自己似乎跟這些包中的每一個(gè)都息息相關(guān)。對(duì)于我該怎么洗臉以及戒掉油膩食品這類的意見(jiàn)（我要指出，這么做并不能預(yù)防痘痘），如果我打算去忍受，那對(duì)腦門上的這些臨時(shí)訪客我至少可以表現(xiàn)得更親近一點(diǎn)。

我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己會(huì)在早上端詳每一個(gè)痘痘，并在心里記下它們的生長(zhǎng)狀況，甚至為它們的長(zhǎng)勢(shì)叫好。當(dāng)然，如果它們難得變小了一點(diǎn)（這令人稱道），我會(huì)更加大聲叫好。不管怎樣，朋友們和陌生人都總是樂(lè)意為我提供他們的小竅門，送上他們的支持。仿佛我們鎮(zhèn)上的居民一夜之間就都搖身一變成了皮膚專家。他們忸怩而婉轉(zhuǎn)地對(duì)我說(shuō)（好像是為了避免傷害我的感情或避免讓自己顯得太冷酷似的）：“你對(duì)金縷梅酊劑了解不？我聽(tīng)說(shuō)它對(duì)皮膚問(wèn)題有奇效。我可不是說(shuō)你應(yīng)該用它，只是告訴你我聽(tīng)說(shuō)的哈?！?/p>

他們不明白的是，這些大紅包就像是某種晚期結(jié)核病一樣，具有抗藥性，能夠變化并可以在任何環(huán)境下茁壯成長(zhǎng)。對(duì)于護(hù)膚產(chǎn)品，這些大紅包不只是做出反應(yīng)，它們會(huì)采取行動(dòng)。即使我真的找到了一種管用的洗面乳，我也很快就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)，把精力全部放在腦門上只會(huì)導(dǎo)致我的臉上突然泛起一片新的紅包。我忙著用洗面乳使勁去洗臉，可嘴角上又會(huì)腫起一個(gè)大到前所未見(jiàn)的紅疙瘩。當(dāng)我以為自己已經(jīng)把臉上的每個(gè)地方都照顧到了時(shí)，我的眉毛下邊又鼓起了一堆腫包。這些大紅包富于創(chuàng)新、靈活善變，愿意前往暫時(shí)見(jiàn)效的洗面乳將它們驅(qū)往的任何地方。

有時(shí)我會(huì)想到爸爸的情況。他在我出生之前得了皮膚癌，經(jīng)過(guò)一次極其漫長(zhǎng)的手術(shù)，病灶被成功切除了。遺憾的是，那次手術(shù)在他臉上留下了一道大大的傷疤。當(dāng)然，由于我們一直生活在一起以及諸如此類的事情，我從來(lái)不會(huì)留意他的傷疤，但是在人多的地方，他總會(huì)引來(lái)旁人的目光。當(dāng)他跟別人說(shuō)話時(shí)，你很快就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)，對(duì)方一邊在聽(tīng)他講話，一邊在下意識(shí)地去撓撓或是蹭蹭自己的臉，這個(gè)動(dòng)作時(shí)刻提醒著你他們的心思在談話過(guò)程中其實(shí)在哪里。我在我遇到的那些人身上也發(fā)現(xiàn)了同樣的特征，雖然表現(xiàn)得沒(méi)有那么明顯。談話伊始，我們還能看著彼此的眼睛，可是他們的目光漸漸上移，聊到最后，眼睛就盯在我的腦門上了。

提及這一點(diǎn)只會(huì)讓場(chǎng)面變得越發(fā)尷尬。發(fā)現(xiàn)我的身體——我的臉——比我整個(gè)人還要重要，這讓我感覺(jué)自己低人一等。

不過(guò)，和許多主要發(fā)生在青少年身上的問(wèn)題一樣，大紅包最終也會(huì)退去。從“乞力馬扎羅山”包開(kāi)始，每座“峰”包都倒下了。有一些包會(huì)因?yàn)槲医?jīng)常撓、經(jīng)常擠而留下疤痕，另一些在離去時(shí)則更加悄無(wú)聲息，仿佛它們從來(lái)就沒(méi)有冒出來(lái)過(guò)一樣。不管怎樣，我漸漸地與我的臉帶給我的尷尬和難過(guò)達(dá)成了和解。不管是大紅包還是別的什么，我決意不讓它們阻擋我去享受自己想要過(guò)的那種生活。

我想起了跟爸爸一起去環(huán)球影城游玩的那次經(jīng)歷。在前去排隊(duì)等候玩下一處游樂(lè)設(shè)施前，我們坐在一張餐桌旁吃午飯。他漫不經(jīng)心地吃著，但在這期間，仿佛只有我注意到了當(dāng)那些游客恰好從我們身邊經(jīng)過(guò)時(shí)，他們會(huì)留意爸爸的臉頰。我朝爸爸探過(guò)身去，表達(dá)了我的關(guān)心：“我真希望他們別那么盯著你看。他們是不是有毛病?。俊卑职謳缀醵紱](méi)有將視線從他的食物上提高一點(diǎn)兒，就發(fā)出了自己的回應(yīng)：“誰(shuí)在乎呢？反正我知道我不在乎。讓他們盯著去吧。我早就把這種事兒想明白了?！?/p>

如此樸素的智慧令我的內(nèi)心深感震撼。他不打算讓任何人影響到他在某一時(shí)刻的心情。他有道疤……但那根本無(wú)關(guān)緊要，至少對(duì)他而言是這樣的。也許對(duì)那些從他身旁經(jīng)過(guò)的人來(lái)說(shuō)這件事很重要，可對(duì)他而言呢？完全沒(méi)有這種可能。吃完飯后，我們繼續(xù)盡情享受時(shí)光。無(wú)論是我的腦門還是他的臉頰，有的人會(huì)呆頭呆腦地盯著看，有的人會(huì)目瞪口呆地注視著，不過(guò)我可以以最真誠(chéng)的態(tài)度說(shuō)，我們自己根本沒(méi)注意，也根本不在意。

1. pimple [?p?mpl] n. 【醫(yī)】丘疹；粉刺；小膿皰

2. acne [??kni] n. 【醫(yī)】痤瘡，粉刺

3. everyman [?evrim?n] n. 普通人，凡夫俗子

4. lump [l?mp] n. 隆起，腫塊

5. pop [p?p] vt. 使爆裂

6. zit [z?t] n. <口>小膿皰；丘疹

7. nurse [n??s] vt. 調(diào)養(yǎng)，調(diào)治（疾?。?/p>

8. take sb. down a notch： 壓低某人的氣焰

9. level out： 變得平坦，變得平整

10. Kanchenjunga： 干城章嘉峰，世界第三高峰，位于喜馬拉雅山脈中段尼泊爾及印度邊界處。

11. McKinley： 麥金利峰，北美洲最高峰，位于美國(guó)阿拉斯加州東南部。

12. spot [sp?t] n. 粉刺，丘疹；膿皰

13. call ... one's own： 認(rèn)為或聲稱……僅屬于自己

14. vested interest： 既得利益

15. laudable [?l??d?bl] adj. 值得贊美的，值得稱贊的

16. dermatology [?d??m??t?l?d?i] n. 【醫(yī)】皮膚病學(xué)

17. coy [k??] adj. 羞羞答答的；忸怩作態(tài)的

18. witch hazel： 【藥】金縷梅酊劑（用于皮膚止痛、消炎、消腫等）

19. tuberculosis [tju??b??kju?l??s?s] n. 【醫(yī)】結(jié)核?。环谓Y(jié)核

20. flare-up [?fle?（r）??p] n. （疾病等的）突然發(fā)作（或加?。?；（尤指）復(fù)發(fā)

21. welt [welt] n. （撞擊或擦傷所致的）紅腫；傷痕

22. agent [?e?d??nt] n. 原動(dòng)力，動(dòng)因（指對(duì)事態(tài)起重要作用的人或事物）

23. exchange [?ks?t?e?nd?] n. 交談；對(duì)話

24. gawk [ɡ??k] vi. 無(wú)禮地瞪著眼看；呆頭呆腦地盯著

25. gape [ɡe?p] vi. 瞠目結(jié)舌地注視；目瞪口呆地凝視