My valuable cup

譚張藝

I like drinking tea when I am studying， so a tea cup is necessary for me. My cup was made in Liling. It was polished and painted with beautiful color.

Its used for showing the art of tea， and also drinking water in our daily lives. When I worked for a long time or felt worried， drinking some tea could make me relaxed. When I want to give up working hard in Grade Nine， It will remind me of my parents. They care about me and always stand by me. The cup is the best thing that can show their deep love for me. When I see the cup bought carefully by my father， I encourage myself， “You can do it， take I easy .”

Tea is important in my daily lives， and the tea cup is the most important thing in my life.

陳艷老師點(diǎn)評(píng)：這是一篇考試作文，小作者語言運(yùn)用能力不錯(cuò)，能嫻熟地運(yùn)用新近所學(xué)語言，如be polished， remind sb. of sth. ， stand by sb. ， show ones deep love等短語，使得文章增色不少。另外，從文章結(jié)構(gòu)來看，開頭直接引出話題，中間進(jìn)行詳細(xì)描述，結(jié)尾部分既與開頭呼應(yīng)又再次點(diǎn)題，是一篇不錯(cuò)的文章！但細(xì)看之下，本文還可以更加優(yōu)化，使得文章邏輯性更強(qiáng)，語言運(yùn)用更加老到。比較一下修改后的范文：

范文：

I like drinking tea while I am studying， so a tea cup is necessary for me. I have a valuable cup made in Liling， which is a gift from my father. It is polished and painted with beautiful colors.

I use it for showing tea art， and drinking water in my daily life. Whenever I work for a long time and feel tired， drinking some tea can make me relaxed. Whenever I am in trouble， it will remind me of my parents， as if saying， “Take it easy， and you can make it.” The tea cup is the most important thing in my life.