幽默小故事

河北省阜城縣古城中學(xué) 張超 供稿

幽默小故事

河北省阜城縣古城中學(xué) 張超 供稿

You Are Wrong

Mother:Tom,which month is longer,May or June?

Tom:May,of course.

Mother:No,June is longer,because it has four letters,yet May has only three letters.

Tom:That’s it.Then which month do you think comes first？

Mother:January does.

Tom:No,April usually comes first in every dictionary.

Mother:OK.Do you know what country has the most people?

Tom:That’s easy.China has the most people.

Mother:Aha.You are wrong again.The United Nations has the most people.

你錯(cuò)了

媽媽：湯姆,五月和六月哪個(gè)月更長(zhǎng)?

湯姆：當(dāng)然是五月啦。

媽媽：哦，不是的，六月更長(zhǎng)一些，因?yàn)樗兴膫€(gè)字母，而五月只有三個(gè)字母。

湯姆：你說(shuō)得沒(méi)錯(cuò)。那么你認(rèn)為哪個(gè)月先到來(lái)呢?

媽媽：一月。

湯姆：錯(cuò)啦。在每一本字典中四月總是先出現(xiàn)。

媽媽：好吧。那你知道哪個(gè)國(guó)家人口最多嗎?

湯姆：太簡(jiǎn)單了。中國(guó)人口最多。

母親：哈哈，你又錯(cuò)了。聯(lián)合國(guó)人口最多。

Father and Son

Father:I promised to buy you a car if you passed your exam,and you have failed.What were you doing last term?

Son:I was learning how to drive.

父親和兒子

父親：如果你通過(guò)了考試,我答應(yīng)給你買(mǎi)一輛車，而你卻沒(méi)有通過(guò)。上學(xué)期你干什么了？

兒子：我在學(xué)習(xí)開(kāi)車。

You Get Zero

During a Christmas exam,one of the questions was:“What causes a depression1?”O(jiān)ne of the students wrote on the paper:“God knows!I don’t.Merry Christmas!”

The exam paper came back with the professor’s words:“God gets 100!You get zero! Happy New Year!”

你得了0分

圣誕節(jié)期間的一次考試，其中的一個(gè)問(wèn)題是:“造成經(jīng)濟(jì)蕭條的原因是什么?”一個(gè)學(xué)生在試卷上寫(xiě)道：“上帝知道!我不知道。圣誕快樂(lè)!”

試卷帶著教授的批語(yǔ)發(fā)了下來(lái)：“上帝得了100分!你得了0分。新年快樂(lè)!”

Customer and Waiter

Customer:Waiter,just look at the chicken you served.It’s nothing but skin and bones!

Waiter:What else do you want,sir?Would you also like the feathers?

顧客和服務(wù)員

顧客：服務(wù)員，看看你端上來(lái)的雞肉。除了皮和骨頭，什么也沒(méi)有!

服務(wù)員：先生，你想要?jiǎng)e的什么?難不成你還喜歡雞毛嗎？

We’ll Be All Square

Brown:John,would you lend me fifty dollars if I asked you?

John:Yes,I suppose so.

Brown:All right,then,lend me fifty,but just give me twenty-five of it.

John:OK.But why?

Brown:Then you’ll owe2me twenty-five,and I’ll owe you twenty-five,and we’ll be all square3.

我們倆扯平了

布朗：約翰，如果我開(kāi)口的話，你能借給我五十美元嗎?

約翰：會(huì)的，我想我會(huì)的。

布朗：好的，那么，就借給我五十美元吧，但你只需給我25美元即可。

約翰：好的。但這是為什么呢?

布朗：那么，你將欠我25美元，我也欠你25美元，我們扯平了。

My Gum

I took my three-year-old son,Jack,to the supermarket.Jack got tired of walking,so I made him ride on my shoulders.As I walked,Jack began pulling my hair.Although I asked him calmly to stop several times.He kept on.Getting angry,I scolded,“Jack!Stop that!”

“Daddy,”he replied,“I’m just trying to get my gum back.”

我的口香糖

我?guī)е龤q的兒子杰克去逛超市。杰克走累了，我便讓他騎在自己的肩上。走著走著，杰克開(kāi)始不停地拽我的頭發(fā)。我好幾次耐著性子讓他老實(shí)點(diǎn)兒，可他就是不聽(tīng)，最后我發(fā)火了，呵斥道，“杰克，不要鬧了！”

“爸爸，我只是想拿回我的口香糖，”杰克回答道。

3.all square勢(shì)均力敵，不相上下；扯平，互不相欠