停止攀比，并開始欣賞自己

楊艷麗

“Comparison is the death of joy.”

比較是快樂的終結(jié)者。

“When you are content1 to be simply yourself and dont compare or compete， everybody will respect you.” —Mark Twain

“當(dāng)你愿意做真實(shí)的自己，不和他人比較或競(jìng)爭(zhēng)時(shí)，人人都會(huì)敬重你?！薄R克·吐溫

You compare cars， houses， shoes， money， social popularity and so on. And at the end of the day you pummel2 your self-esteem to the ground and you create a lot of negative feelings within.

你和他人拼車，拼房，拼鞋子，拼錢，拼社會(huì)名氣等等。每天結(jié)束時(shí)，當(dāng)你把自尊踩在腳下，很多負(fù)面情緒會(huì)隨之而來。

So what can you do？ How can you get a handle on this habit？ Well， today Id like to share 3 steps that have helped me to move away from this：

對(duì)此，你能做些什么？如何改掉這個(gè)習(xí)慣？今天我就和大家分享改掉這個(gè)習(xí)慣的三個(gè)步驟，正是這三個(gè)步驟幫助我改掉了這個(gè)習(xí)慣。

Step 1： Just realize that you cant win if you compare yourself to others.

第一步：要知道拿自己和他人相比，你不會(huì)贏。

No matter what you do you can pretty much always find someone else in the world that has more than you or are better than you at something.

在這個(gè)世界上，不論你做什么，你總能找到比你富有，能力比你強(qiáng)的人。

Yes， you may feel good for a while when you get a nicer car than your neighbor. But a week or two later youll see someone from the next block with an even finer car than yours.

是的，如果你的車比鄰居的好些，你可能會(huì)自我感覺良好一陣子。但是，一周或兩周后，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)相鄰街區(qū)的某個(gè)人的車比你的更好。

Step 2： Compare yourself to yourself.

第二步：自己和自己比。

Instead of comparing yourself to other people， create the habit of comparing yourself to yourself. See how much you have grown， what you have achieved and what progress you have made towards your goals.

不要拿自己和他人相比，相反，要養(yǎng)成自己和自己比的習(xí)慣?？匆幌伦约撼砷L(zhǎng)了多少，收獲了多少，距離自己的目標(biāo)又前進(jìn)了多少。

This habit has the benefit of creating gratitude， appreciation3 and kindness towards yourself as you observe how far you have come， the obstacles4 you have overcome and the good stuff you have done. You feel good about yourself without having to think less of other people.

當(dāng)你看到自己的進(jìn)步，克服的困難，做過的好事時(shí)，這個(gè)習(xí)慣會(huì)幫助你學(xué)會(huì)感恩，學(xué)會(huì)欣賞自己，友善地對(duì)待自己。這時(shí)你就不需要通過輕視他人來讓自己感覺良好。

Step 3： Be kinder towards other people.

第三步：對(duì)他人友善。

In my experience， the way you behave and think towards others seems to have a big， big effect on how you behave towards yourself and think about yourself. Judge5 and criticize people more and you tend to judge and criticize yourself more. Be kinder to other people and help them and you tend to be kinder and more helpful to yourself.

我的經(jīng)驗(yàn)告訴我，你對(duì)他人的行為和看法在很大程度上影響著你對(duì)自己的行為和看法。對(duì)他人評(píng)價(jià)批判越多，你就越有可能評(píng)價(jià)批判自己。對(duì)他人越友善，你就對(duì)自己越友善。越是幫助他人，你就越會(huì)幫助自己。

So focus your mind on helping people and being kind. And appreciate what is positive in yourself and others.

因此，努力幫助他人，對(duì)他人友善。欣賞自己和他人身上的積極樂觀的一面。

[1] content adj. 滿意的 [2] pummel vt. 擊；打

[3] appreciation n. 欣賞；感謝 [4] obstacle n. 障礙，干擾

[5] judge vt. 判斷；審判