The Devil Is in Your Snooze Button 小睡按鈕，騙你沒商量！

Casey+N.+Cep

I feel like Faustus2） every morning. The warm darkness of sleep around me like a blanket， I listen as Mephistopheles3） whispers： “Oh， Faustus， dear， I am here.” I listen， but want so badly to still be asleep： “What do I care， there is no here.” There is neither here nor there in sleep， no anywhere really.

“Faustus，” Mephistopheles says， this time tugging softly at the blanket of darkness， “dear Faustus， wouldnt you like more rest？ I never lie. You can have a few more minutes.” I close my eyes against the day and answer： “Oh， Mephistopheles， Id do anything for more sleep， even a few more minutes.”

The bargain is struck nine minutes at a time. I am Faustus， but the devil is my alarm clock or cell phone， whichever Ive managed to set the night before. The devil offers me little extensions of nine minutes， and I happily accept three or four installments4） every single morning.

Then Mephistopheles enforces the bargain. I stumble out of bed， at least 18， though usually 36 minutes later than when I had planned. I am late， and I will have bargained away5） all the leisure and pleasure of the morning： no time for taking a shower， no time for toasting a bagel or bread， no time for reading the newspaper， no time for brewing coffee at home. I wonder sometimes what my neighbors think of me： all those endless choruses of alarm chimes6） and bells not once a morning， but at least three or four times on repeat.

Snooze is the enemy of both sleep and wakefulness. Snooze is the devil that cheats us into thinking well be more awake for those nine extra minutes of sleep， more rested for every one of those sleep extensions we accept from Mephistopheles. But its all a lie： nine minutes at a time， the snooze cheats us of our waking life. It hasnt always been this way. Alarm clocks are an ancient device， but the snooze button is a recent invention.

There have always been ways of waking： even before clocks， there were crowing roosters and the rising sun. When water clocks first appeared centuries ago in Egypt， they were modified over time to include alarms. Bells and whistles were adjusted to specific levels in the container from which or into which the water fell. These noisemakers sounded whenever the water rose or fell to the appropriate level， providing a reliable alarm for keeping time. Theres some indication that even Plato used such a clock， sounding a water organ early every morning to mark the beginning of his lectures.

The history of horology7） is entangled with the history of commerce， so the next wave of time-keeping developments was tied to industry. Alarms came in the form of town clocks， factory whistles， and neighborhood knocker-uppers. Town clocks chimed the early morning hours； factory whistles sounded the hours of shift work； and knocker-uppers went around cities knocking on windows or doors at arranged times so that everyone could make it to work. None of these methods offered the opportunity for drowsing8）. Even when Seth Thomas9） patented a small mechanical alarm clock in 1876， there was still no snooze function.

For centuries we got by without the snooze. It was only in 1956 that General Electric-Telechron released the Snooz-Alarm， which came equipped with a control bar for snoozing. Westclox released their Drowse Alarm three years later， which featured the choice between snoozing for five minutes and 10 minutes. There is so much more truth in advertising with drowse than snooze， since what you get with each interval is less like sleeping and more like drowsing—a pitiful mix of hazy10）， haunted wakefulness.

The original Snooz-Alarm had a nine-minute snooze， which became the standard， though there is not much consensus about what dictated that arbitrary interval. There is some speculation that engineers were constrained by mechanical gears and had to choose between complicated double-digit intervals and the easier nine-minute dose. Nine minutes was the most you could get without designing a more sophisticated mechanism. For all the customizable features of modern alarms， from radio stations， specific songs， a multitude of tones， user-recorded messages， its surprising that no one has allowed us the freedom of timing our own snoozing for something less regulated than nine minutes.

A stitch in time may save nine11）， but every nine minutes of snooze wastes a little slice of our lives. Since 1956， we have been confusing snooze for sleep， sacrificing our waking life nine minutes at a time. Not only do we delay the start of our days， but we compromise the very sleep we are trying to steal. The healthy， continuous sleep cycles we need are thoroughly disrupted by the snooze. When we hear the first sound of the alarm， our bodies release adrenaline12） and cortisol13）， hormones that wake us， interrupting our natural sleep cycle to make us alert.

Surrendering to the temptation of the snooze erases that hormonal surge： our bodies try to reenter the deeper periods of sleep. Only those restorative levels of sleep take a lot longer than nine minutes to enter， so every snooze confuses our bodies even more. We think three or four snoozes are the equivalent of an extra 30 or 40 minutes of rest， but the patchy14）， interrupted sleep of snooze is worse than no sleep at all. Instead of the natural sleeping then waking， the snooze drags us into unhealthy， unsatisfying fits of trying to sleep and trying to rise， but failing to do either.

I lived without the snooze for the first two decades of my life. It was only during a particularly sleep-deprived period of college that I gave in to the temptation of tapping that button three or four times every morning. Like any addiction， its hard to break. I go to bed contracting with my future self to rise the precise moment the alarm sounds， but morning after morning my future self cheats my past self with one snooze after another. Day by day， I rise groggier15） and drowsier， taking hours instead of minutes to actually， truly awaken.

So how are we to resist the wiles of Mephistopheles？ If the war on smoking was won partly by convincing smokers that every cigarette stole 11 minutes of their lives， then perhaps the war on snooze can be won by convincing sleepers they lose nine， 18， 27， even 36 minutes of their sleep lives every morning. We must realize that every snooze is not nine minutes gained， but hours lost： not only of productive sleep， but productive wakefulness.

Next time Mephistopheles whispers in your groggy ear， try rejecting his bargain. Dont cheat yourself out of restful sleep or waking life. Sleep scientists suggest going to bed earlier or setting your alarm for later， but never giving in to the cheat of the snooze. Rather than negotiating that Faustian bargain every morning with the snooze， try setting a second alarm for 30 or 40 minutes after the first. If you find yourself too sleepy to rise when you first intended， let yourself get real， restful sleep before trying again. Its a war on snooze， but one we can win one morning at a time.

每天早晨，我都感覺自己像浮士德。溫暖、昏沉的睡意像毯子一樣包裹著我，我聽到靡菲斯特在輕聲低語：“哦，浮士德，親愛的，我在這兒?！蔽衣犞?，卻死活都不愿醒來：“我才不在乎呢，哪有什么‘這兒?！彼瘔糁袥]有這兒，也沒有那兒，其實哪兒都沒有。

“浮士德，”靡菲斯特這次一邊輕輕拉扯包裹著我的沉沉睡意，一邊說，“親愛的浮士德，你不想多休息一會兒嗎？我從不說謊。你可以再多睡幾分鐘?！蔽议]上眼睛，不去理會天光已亮，回答道：“哦，靡菲斯特，只要能多睡一會兒，我什么都愿意做，哪怕多睡幾分鐘也行?！?/p>

我們達(dá)成了交易，每次九分鐘。浮士德就是我，而魔鬼則是我在前一天晚上設(shè)定好的鬧鐘或手機。魔鬼準(zhǔn)許我每次多睡短短的九分鐘，我則每個早上欣欣然地接受三到四次這樣的寬限。

之后，靡菲斯特履行了交易。我東倒西歪地從床上爬起來，比原計劃的起床時間晚了至少18分鐘，不過通常是晚了36分鐘。我不僅起晚了，還會在這樣的交易中失去早間全部的閑適和樂趣：沒時間淋浴，沒時間烤貝果或面包，沒時間讀報，沒時間在家煮咖啡。有時我會好奇鄰居們怎么看我：所有那些無休無止的鬧鈴聲同時響起，每天早上不是響一次，而是會重復(fù)至少三四次。

小睡對于睡眠和清醒都有害處。它是欺騙我們的魔鬼，讓我們以為多睡九分鐘會使我們更加清醒，以為每從靡菲斯特那里多獲得一次睡眠寬限我們就能休息得更好。但一切都是謊言：小睡騙走了我們清醒的時光，每次騙走九分鐘。這樣的狀況并非一直存在。鬧鐘雖然古已有之，但小睡按鈕卻是近來的發(fā)明。

一直以來就有許多讓人們醒來的方法：甚至在鐘表出現(xiàn)之前，高唱的雄雞和初升的紅日都可以將人們喚醒。許多世紀(jì)以前，水鐘最早在埃及出現(xiàn)，后來人們逐漸對其加以改進(jìn)，增加了鬧鈴。人們在水流出或流入的容器的特定位置調(diào)整好鈴鐺和哨笛，當(dāng)水面上升或下降到相應(yīng)的高度時，這些發(fā)聲裝置就會發(fā)出響聲，為人們計時提供可靠的鬧鈴。有跡象表明，連柏拉圖都曾經(jīng)使用過這種水鐘。每天清晨，水風(fēng)琴會被奏響，這就標(biāo)志著他該開始授課了。

測量時間的歷史與商業(yè)的歷史密不可分，因此計時方式的下一輪發(fā)展與工業(yè)緊密相連。城鎮(zhèn)鐘樓的大鐘、工廠的汽笛和街區(qū)里叫早的人都起到了鬧鐘的作用。城鎮(zhèn)鐘樓的大鐘在清晨報時，工廠的汽笛在換班時間吹響，而叫早的人則走遍城市的大街小巷，在約定的時間敲響住戶的門窗，以保證人人都能按時上工。上述這些方法都沒給人們提供打盹的機會。即使到了1876年，當(dāng)塞思·托馬斯公司為一款小型機械鬧鐘申請專利時，鬧鐘的小睡功能仍然沒有出現(xiàn)。

許多世紀(jì)以來，人們無須小睡也可以過活。直到1956年，通用電氣旗下的Telechron公司才推出了“小睡鬧鐘”，這種鬧鐘帶有一個小睡功能的控制桿。Westclox公司在三年后推出了他們的“瞌睡鬧鐘”，其主要特色是提供了小睡五分鐘和十分鐘這兩種選擇。用“瞌睡”這個詞來做宣傳比用“小睡”要貼切得多，因為每一段間隔給你帶來的更像是瞌睡，而不像是睡眠—— 是一種可憐的混雜了意識模糊和焦慮不安的清醒狀態(tài)。

最早的“小睡鬧鐘”能讓人小睡九分鐘，這成了一個標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，盡管人們對這個隨意的間隔時間從何而來眾說紛紜。有一種猜測是，工程師們受到機械齒輪的制約，不得不在復(fù)雜的兩位數(shù)時間間隔和較為簡單的九分鐘間隔之間做出選擇。在無須設(shè)計更為復(fù)雜的機械裝置的前提下，九分鐘是人們所能得到的最長時間間隔。現(xiàn)代的鬧鐘雖然有無線電臺、自選歌曲、多種鈴聲和用戶錄制的留言等各種可定制的特征，但不可思議的是，竟然沒有一款鬧鐘在那刻板的九分鐘之外允許我們有自行決定小睡時間的自由。

“補救及時，以一當(dāng)十”也許言之有理，但每一段九分鐘的小睡都浪費了我們生命中的一小段光陰。自1956年以來，我們一直把小睡和睡眠混為一談，每次犧牲自己九分鐘的清醒時光。我們不僅推遲了一天開始的時間，也正損害了我們試圖竊取的睡眠。我們所需的健康、連貫的睡眠周期完全被小睡打亂了。當(dāng)聽到第一聲鬧鈴時，我們體內(nèi)會分泌腎上腺素和皮質(zhì)醇，這兩種激素會喚醒我們，中斷我們自然的睡眠周期，以此讓我們警覺。

屈服于小睡的誘惑會消除那種激素的激增：我們的身體設(shè)法再度進(jìn)入深度睡眠?？墒俏覀冃枰染欧昼婇L得多的時間才能進(jìn)入那種恢復(fù)性睡眠的階段，因此每小睡一次，我們的身體就變得越加錯亂。我們以為小睡三四次就等于多休息了三四十分鐘，但這種零碎、間斷的小睡還不如干脆不睡。小睡帶來的不是從睡到醒的自然切換，而是使我們陷入了努力入睡、努力醒來卻都徒勞無功的一陣陣掙扎之中，既不利于健康，也無法讓人滿足。

在人生的前20年里，我并沒有小睡的習(xí)慣。直到在大學(xué)期間一段睡眠尤其不足的時期，我才禁不住誘惑，每天早晨按下那個按鈕三四次。像任何一種成癮的行為一樣，這個習(xí)慣很難改掉。上床睡覺時，我會和未來的自己約好，要在鬧鈴響起的那一刻準(zhǔn)點起床，可是日復(fù)一日，未來的我卻用一次又一次的小睡欺騙過去的我。時間一天天過去，我起床時越來越感到昏沉和困倦，需要花費幾個小時而不是幾分鐘才能真正完全清醒。

那么我們該如何抵御靡菲斯特的花言巧語呢？如果反對吸煙的斗爭得以取勝的部分原因是讓吸煙者相信每支香煙會奪走他們11分鐘的壽命，那么如果讓愛睡覺的人相信每天早上他們都損失了9、18、27甚至36分鐘的睡眠時間，針對小睡的斗爭或許也能取得勝利。我們必須意識到，每一次小睡不是贏得了九分鐘，而是失去了幾個小時：既失去了踏實的睡眠，也失去了富有成效的清醒時間。

下次，當(dāng)靡菲斯特在你昏昏沉沉的耳邊輕聲細(xì)語時，試著拒絕和他做交易。不要被騙去了自己酣暢的睡眠和清醒的時光。研究睡眠的科學(xué)家建議要么早點上床睡覺，要么把鬧鐘定得晚一點，但是千萬不要屈服于小睡的誘惑。與其每天早上與小睡進(jìn)行浮士德式的交易談判，不如試著將第二個鬧鐘定在第一個鬧鐘的30～40分鐘之后。如果你第一次打算起床時覺得太困起不來，那就讓自己真正安穩(wěn)地先睡一會兒再嘗試。這是向小睡發(fā)起的斗爭，不過我們每次只能取得一個早上的勝利。

1. snooze button：（鬧鐘的）小睡按鈕，止鬧

按鈕

2. Faustus：浮士德，德國中世紀(jì)傳說中的術(shù)

士，為獲得青春、知識和魔力，將靈魂出賣

給了魔鬼。

3. Mephistopheles：靡菲斯特，中世紀(jì)神話中的魔

鬼，浮士德把自己的靈魂賣給了他。

4. installment [?n?st??lm?nt] n. （故事、計劃等的）部分

5. bargain away：為了換取沒有價值或者價值很低的物品而失去或者放棄（自由、幸福等）

6. chime [t?a?m] n. 鐘聲；類似鐘聲的聲音

7. horology [h??r?l?d?i] n. 測時法；鐘表學(xué)

8. drowse [dra?z] vi. 打瞌睡，打盹

9. Seth Thomas：指塞思·托馬斯鐘表公司（Seth Thomas Clock Company），創(chuàng)始人為美國鐘表匠塞思·托馬斯（1785～1859）。

10. hazy [?he?zi] adj. 朦朧的，模糊的

11. A stitch in time may save nine：此處化用了諺語“A stitch in time saves nine”，形容及時的補救措施可以使人省下日后的更多麻煩。

12. adrenaline [??dren?l?n] n. [生化]腎上腺素

13. cortisol [?k??t??s?l] n. [生化]皮質(zhì)醇

14. patchy [?p?t?i] adj. 不完全的；散落的

15. groggy [?ɡr?ɡi] adj. 昏昏沉沉的