毛俊瑩
Do you like playing sports? I like it very much. My favorite sport is playing badminton. Because I think its very interesting and cool. I often play it with my parents in the square. In my opinion, doing sports means a lot in our daily life.
Firstly,it can help us to keep in good shape.
Secondly,it can keep us in good health. It was reported that the persons who play sports every day get less chance of getting diseases than those who never or less do it. As the old saying , life depends on moving.
Finally,if I do sports well, I can get more marks in the P.E. exam. I think everyone should play sports. On the one hand, it can keep us healthy. On the other hand, we can learn more from it. Boys and girls, Lets do sports from now on.
簡評:現(xiàn)在全球的肥胖問題越來越嚴重,肥胖人數(shù)的比例也逐年增加,運動保健成為一個熱門話題。本文是一篇考場作文,從作文題目可以看出這是一篇呼吁大家做運動的文章。小作者能夠從文章結(jié)構(gòu)入手,首尾呼應(yīng),點明主旨。特別值得一提的是,文章結(jié)構(gòu)清晰。這也是我一直提倡的寫作方法——總分總結(jié)構(gòu),先提出論點,分層論證,最后總結(jié),一目了然。本文開門見山,提出“Do you like playing sports? I like it very much”,然后舉出自己最喜歡的運動是羽毛球,再引出下文做運動好處多多。分三點進行論證,順序清晰 firstly , secondly , finally。第一點說明運動有利于保持良好的體型。第二點說運動有利于身體健康。第三點又從自身說運動不僅對身體有好處,而且還能提高體育成績,最后再次呼吁,生命在于運動,大家都運動起來吧。本文結(jié)構(gòu)清晰,論點明確,語言豐富,主題明確,是一篇不錯的考場佳作。但是不免還是有一些遺憾,語言有些地方不夠簡練,重復(fù)性的詞語使用較多。希望大家予以借鑒,寫出更優(yōu)秀的英語作文。 (指導(dǎo)教師:李 超)