Drone On！ 無人機，走起！

Tom+ODonnell

Hello， Im here to tell you a little bit about the exciting world of commercial drone use.

When you hear the word “drone，” certain other words inevitably spring to mind—all of them positive： Global！ Accuracy！ Hearts and minds2）！ Futuristic … machines！ Wedding celebration！

It seems like every time you open the paper or accidentally see foreign news broadcast， people are talking about drones. Just Google “drone” and look at the sheer number of results. Dont actually look at the results； look at the number of results.

Yes， drones are a certified international phenomenon. （Just like the Beatles！） But as ubiquitous as they are overseas， unmanned aerial vehicles are currently underutilized3） here on the home front. No matter what your business or personal needs are， though， we feel confident that drones are the solution.

Book Delivery

Youve placed your order； now its time to step outside onto your lawn. Soon， you hear a high-pitched clicking noise somewhere in the sky， miles above your head. You dont see anything， but that sound means its time to dive out of the way. Now check the crater4） where you were just standing： its the new Clive Cussler5）！ This is the future of the publishing industry.

E-book Delivery

Our drones can also be used to easily drop proprietary6） e-readers on a populace that is generally unwilling to make the switch7）. Targets will find it much harder to complain about how e-books “arent tactile8） enough” while their roof is pelted9） loudly with hundreds of Kindles.

Pizza Delivery

Thirty minutes or less？ Try receiving your pizza in thirty seconds or less， courtesy of10） a Joint Direct Attack Munition11） that has been specially modified to shoot pizzas at four thousand miles per hour （this keeps them warm）. Dont forget to thank your deliveryman. Just because hes sitting at a computer in Arlington， Virginia， doesnt mean he cant hear you. He can hear you. He can always hear you.

Home Security

Want to know where your kids are？ How about your wife？ How about your wifes new boyfriend？ How about his wife and kids， who dont even know anything about any of this？ How about his parents in Indiana？ Wouldnt they be pretty disappointed to learn that their only son is making a mockery of the marriage vows he swore before God and man？ What if a drone left them a note that explained everything， and we mean everything？ Wouldnt that make your home more secure？

Special Events

Do you wish there was an easier way to liven up a childs birthday or bar mitzvah12）？ Maybe you should call Droney， the loveable drone with the rad13） attitude！ By placing a simple clown nose and a pair of sunglasses onto one of our drones， we can instantly create an adorable character that will delight children of all ages. Your kids will laugh as Droney does loop-de-loops14） or just hovers ominously15） above the party， making strangely little noise. Droney loves to play games， too， like hide-and-seek.

Pet Care

Taking your dog outside at all hours of the day is a hassle. Why not let us do the work？ Simply attach your pets special nylon harness16） to one of our unmanned aerial vehicles and let us “walk” him around the block several hundred times in the same five minutes it would take you to do it once. In terms of sheer mileage17） covered， its a no-brainer18）. Not recommended for older pets.

Dentistry

Need a troublesome tooth removed？ No problem. Just stand by an open window and smile， fully exposing the tooth that you have clearly marked with a large red X. Do not move your head. Do not stop smiling.

These are just a few potential applications of drones in the private sector， but the possibilities are limitless. I truly believe that in the next three to five years， the use of unmanned aerial vehicles will revolutionize every aspect of the way we do business. And Im not just saying that because there are dozens of them silently watching me deliver this presentation from an altitude of six thousand feet！

Im smiling but that wasnt a joke. I need all of you to clap. For the love of God， everyone clap.

大家好，今天我來給你們講講商業(yè)無人機的應(yīng)用將打造的精彩世界。

一聽到“無人機”這個詞，另外一些詞必然會迸入你的腦海中——都是些好詞：全球的！精確性！人心所向！未來派的……機器！婚禮慶典！

似乎每一次你翻開報紙或者偶然收看國外的新聞報道時，都能發(fā)現(xiàn)人們在談?wù)摕o人機。只要到谷歌上搜索一下“無人機”，光看看顯示的結(jié)果條數(shù)就明白了。不是真的要你看結(jié)果的內(nèi)容，是看結(jié)果的條數(shù)。

沒錯，無人機是一個公認(rèn)的國際現(xiàn)象。（就像披頭士樂隊那樣?。╇m然無人機在海外無處不在，但目前它在國內(nèi)（編注：指美國。因安全性和隱私保護等問題，商用無人機技術(shù)的應(yīng)用在美國受法律限制。）還沒有得到充分利用。不過，無論你的業(yè)務(wù)需求或個人需求是什么，我們確信無人機都能提供解決方案。

書籍投遞

你已下了訂單。現(xiàn)在，你應(yīng)該走到室外，來到你家的草坪上。不一會兒，你聽到空中——你頭頂上方幾英里高的地方——傳來尖利的咔噠聲。你什么都沒看到，但這個聲音意味著你該俯身躲開?，F(xiàn)在，檢查一下你剛才站的那個地方被砸出來的坑：是克萊夫·卡斯勒新出的書！這就是出版業(yè)的未來。

電子書投遞

針對那些通常不愿意轉(zhuǎn)而閱讀電子書的人們，我們的無人機還能方便地用來為其空投品牌電子閱讀器。當(dāng)成百上千個Kindle電子書閱讀器噼里啪啦地砸到這些人家屋頂?shù)臅r候，他們將很難再抱怨電子書“觸感不夠”。

比薩送餐

30分鐘或更短的時間？試試在30秒或更短的時間內(nèi)收到比薩吧。這些比薩由經(jīng)過特別改裝的聯(lián)合直接攻擊彈藥投送，速度為每小時四千英里（這樣的速度能讓比薩保溫）。別忘了感謝你的投遞員。他正坐在弗吉尼亞州阿靈頓的一臺電腦前，但這并不意味著他聽不到你的聲音。他能聽到。他始終都能聽到。

家庭安全

想知道你的孩子們在哪兒嗎？想知道你妻子的情況嗎？想知道你妻子新男友的情況嗎？想知道他的妻子和孩子的情況嗎？對于他的婚外情，他們還被蒙在鼓里呢。想知道他住在印第安納州的父母的情況嗎？如果他們知道自己的獨子拿他在上帝和眾人面前所作的結(jié)婚誓言開玩笑，他們會不會很失望？如果派一架無人機給他們留言，把一切都告訴他們，我是說來龍去脈，結(jié)果會怎樣？這不是讓你家更安全了嗎？

特殊活動

你希望用更簡單的方法來活躍孩子的生日派對或成人禮的氣氛嗎？或許你應(yīng)該請舟尼這個可愛的、態(tài)度頂呱呱的無人機來幫忙！給我們的無人機安上一個普通的小丑鼻子，戴上一副太陽鏡，我們立馬就能創(chuàng)造出一個所有年齡段的孩子們都會喜歡的可愛角色。當(dāng)舟尼翻筋斗或者只是不懷好意地在空中盤旋，發(fā)出詭異的小噪音時，你的孩子都會開懷大笑。舟尼也喜歡玩游戲，比如捉迷藏。

照顧寵物

整天外出遛狗是件麻煩事。為什么不讓我們來代勞呢？只需將你寵物的特制尼龍拉繩拴到我們其中一架無人機上，我們五分鐘內(nèi)就能在街區(qū)里“遛”它幾百次，而同樣的時間里你只能遛它一次。單說這樣遛下來得走多遠，這不用動腦筋也能算出來。不推薦年邁的寵物用這個方法。

牙醫(yī)行業(yè)

需要拔掉一顆鬧心的壞牙嗎？沒問題。你只需站在一扇敞開著的窗前，微笑，把那顆已經(jīng)清晰地畫上一個紅色大叉的牙齒完全露出來。頭不要動，一直保持微笑。

這些只是無人機在私人領(lǐng)域的一些可能的應(yīng)用，但其發(fā)展前景是無限的。我真的相信，在未來三至五年內(nèi)，無人機的使用將從方方面面徹底改變我們從事商業(yè)活動的方式。我這么說不僅僅是因為在我發(fā)言時，有很多無人機從六千英尺的高空悄悄地監(jiān)視我！

我是在笑，但并不是在開玩笑。我需要你們所有人鼓掌?？丛谏系鄣姆稚?，每個人都鼓掌吧。

1. drone [dr??n] vi. 嗡嗡作響；n. 無人駕駛飛機 2. hearts and minds：情感上的支持

3. underutilized [??nd?（r）?ju?t??la?zd] adj. 未充分利用的

4. crater [?kre?t?（r）] n. 坑（如隕石坑、彈坑等）

5. Clive Cussler：克萊夫·卡斯勒（1931～），美國驚險小說作家，代表作為《印加寶藏》（Inca Gold）。

6. proprietary [pr??pra??t（?）ri] adj. 以某一專利商標(biāo)名稱出售的

7. make the switch：做出轉(zhuǎn)變

8. tactile [?t?kta?l] adj. 能觸覺到的，可感知的

9. pelt [pelt] vt. 連續(xù)地投擲

10. courtesy of：經(jīng)由……提供的

11. Joint Direct Attack Munition：聯(lián)合直接攻擊彈藥，簡稱“JDAM”，是一種利用GPS引導(dǎo)的自動尋敵炸彈。

12. bar mitzvah：（13歲時舉行的）猶太男孩成人儀式

13. rad [r?d] adj. 頂呱呱的

14. loop-de-loops：翻筋斗（一種特技飛行）

15. ominously [??m?n?sli] adv. 預(yù)感不祥地

16. harness [?hɑ?（r）n?s] n. 挽具狀帶子

17. mileage [?ma?l?d?] n. 英里數(shù)

18. no-brainer [?n???bre?n?（r）] n. 不需動腦筋的事，簡單的事